Drafting a personal statement

View your personal statement as a narrative that paints a portrait of you as an individual and demonstrates your passion for your field of inquiry..

For help preparing your personal statement and other writing materials, contact the Writing and Communications Center (WCC). The WCC offers free one-on-one professional advice from communication experts. All of these experts are MIT lecturers with advanced degrees. All are experienced college classroom teachers of communication. All are published scholars and writers.

Many departments within the School of Engineering have a  communications lab  offering individual coaching, targeted workshops, and a spectrum of initiatives for their students. Regardless of your school or discipline, their online CommKit is  open and available to all .

A “hook” is an interesting or eye-catching statement, anecdote, fact, or question placed at the beginning of a piece of writing.

Fellowships are competitive, and individual reviewers may be looking at hundreds of applications at a time. Anything that captures a reader’s attention and makes you stick out in the pile can make a real difference, so include a strong “hook.”

Show creativity

The personal statement is not just a story about your trajectory, but a place to show your creativity. Craft the statement so that the reviewers see you as an individual and not just another applicant in the pile. For example, you can start with a story of how you became interested in science (avoiding clichés, of course) or give an example of an obstacle you had to overcome.

Share your personal experience & goals

Synthesize several of the following in your statement. Choose your topics based based on their relevance to the fellowship’s goals, your research, and your career path:

  • Your life experience
  • Your personal history
  • Your family background
  • The education and cultural opportunities (or lack of, if there is a desire to learn more) to which you have been exposed
  • Major influences to your intellectual development
  • Your career goals
  • How you plan to use the skills you will develop while supported by the fellowship

Every word counts, and how the statement is organized and how you use the limited space is often part of the review criteria.

Reference the fellowship’s mission

If the fellowship is looking for applicants that can achieve stated goals or live by certain ideals, address these in the personal statement. For example, the NSF GRFP’s two-part criteria states that their applicants and their research are of intellectual merit and will make a broader impact on society.

Tie it all together

A fellowship application is not a collection of individual documents. It is an application package, so everything should be tied together.

The personal statement should demonstrate that you are organized, strategic, and have a clear thought process, showing that you are qualified to carry out the work in your research proposal.

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mit personal statement questions

How to Write the MIT Application Essays 2022-2023

Padya Paramita

October 3, 2022

mit personal statement questions

Massachusetts Institute of Technology is the dream university for many STEM-oriented students, and it comes as no surprise that it’s also one of the most selective schools in the world. If you’re set on majoring in Brain and Cognitive Sciences, Computation and Cognition, or one of the other highly specialized programs that MIT offers, it’s important to let admissions officers know who you are and what you’d bring through the MIT application essays 2022-2023 . 

Since MIT uses MyMIT , its own application system, you don’t have to worry about repeating your Common App personal statement topic here! But, this means that the essays act as your personal statement and supplemental responses all in one. Alongside conveying your love for MIT, you must take advantage of your supplemental essays to provide crucial context on your interests and background. You have five prompts to convince admissions officers why you’re an ideal fit for this highly competitive Boston institution, which only accepted 4% of students this year. To help guide you through the writing process , I’ve outlined each prompt, dos and don’ts for your responses, and more tips on the MIT application essays 2022-2023 .

MIT Application Essays 2022-2023 (answer all - appx. 200 words each)

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. 

MIT values students who are particularly invested in activities and topics that are meaningful to them, no matter what the scale. If you have a highly meaningful hobby that isn’t a conventional extracurricular per se, MIT is telling you to go for it. Just the introductory paragraph to most essays requires over 100 words—you might find it difficult to restrain yourself while talking about your favorite activity. In order to get your point across, you need to put less emphasis on describing the activity—limit it to one or two sentences - and more on what brings you joy about it. Why is it your favorite? How does it recharge you in a way others may not? Has it shaped your perspective in a significant way?

Since admissions officers will see your activities list through MyMIT, you should find ways to include anecdotes that will convey additional information about yourself. While you should not pick a purely academic activity or something that you think MIT wants to hear, you also should think of something beyond sleeping, eating, or hanging out with friends. Your outlook on the activity should be unique and help you stand out among your peers.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

It’s crucial that you go through all of the prompts offered by the MIT application essays 2022-2023 before you decide on a topic for each of them because what you cover in this first prompt might also be a good fit for Prompt 4. And if you are invested in more than one community, then you’re in luck! Either way, your answer to questions 1 and 4 should not cover the same topic because each essay is meant to add new information about you.

A good clue on what to write here comes from the second part of the question, “how has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?” It’s time to think about your goals again. Is there any community or group which has played a strong role in solidifying your goals? If the answer is yes, there’s your answer. Start your essay by introducing the chosen world—keep it brief as you have another segment to cover. The major focus of your essay should lie in elaborating on the connection between the topic you’ve chosen and your career aspirations. Use anecdotes as evidence to drive your point home for admission officers to better visualize the impact. 

At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. 

Since the prompt clearly states that there are no specific boxes that your choice of community has to check, think about a place where you’ve actually made an impact. Think about how to differentiate yourself—while service trips abroad definitely could count as community service, they won’t help paint a memorable picture of you because lots of students participate in them. You could write about the smaller circles such as your family, friend group, or neighborhood. You may have helped the community as a whole or you could have helped one or two individuals who belong to it. 

To think about the kinds of contributions to elaborate on, ask yourself the following questions:

  • How have you collaborated with others in your community?
  • Have you taken any risks to help others? How have they paid off?
  • Have you spearheaded any initiatives towards change?
  • Are there any service examples that portray your curiosity and creativity?
  • Why do you care about this community? How have you shown it? 

If you choose a larger community—like your whole school or city—make sure your essay still focuses on your own contribution and role. A response to such a prompt needs to follow the classic “show, not tell” advice. Admissions officers won’t be satisfied with just “I helped my family.” You need to dig deeper and convince them through the MIT application essays 2022-2023 that you are the kind of hardworking and passionate individual who can thrive at MIT.

Tell us about a significant challenge you’ve faced (that you feel comfortable sharing) or something that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? 

MIT values candidates “ who are not only planning to succeed but who are also not afraid to fail .” When admissions officers read prompts about challenges students have overcome, they don’t want to know every single detail about the hurdle. The response should be more focused on the way the student reacted in the situation and how they’ve grown from the circumstances. Don’t pick an experience where you gave up easily after failing to do something. Your essay should highlight your strength and resilience in the face of an obstacle.

The definition of a “challenge” may vary from person to person. The keyword here is “significant.” Avoid writing about situations such as a bad grade or a sprain playing soccer that might be minor in comparison to issues other students have faced. Instead, think about an instance that showcases how your ability to recover from a struggle and proves your determination as well as your humility. Instead of writing general statements, focus your essay on your actions you took during the situation and the lessons you picked up. 

This is a great opportunity to tell admissions officers about the way you respond to tough moments - end your essay on a positive note!

More Tips to Answer the MIT Application Essays 2022-2023

  • Use Your Common Application Profile As Inspiration: Chances are, other schools on your list use the Common Application so you’ve already filled it out. The Common App can be a great source of letting you know the kind of context colleges want to know about you. If there’s anything that you’ve mentioned in the Common App that you haven’t gotten a chance to express for MyMIT—whether it’s mentioned in your personal statement topic or an impressive award—you may be able to include it somewhere in your response to the MIT application essays 2022-2023!
  • Read the Website Very Carefully: Research is extremely important before sitting down to answer school-specific questions and the MIT application essays 2022-2023 are no different. Luckily, MIT has very detailed information for prospective students that can help you go deeper into admissions officers’ minds. Use the information given on the “ What we look for ” page to get an idea of which characteristics you should emphasize in your responses.
  • Use Strong Examples : The MIT application essays 2022-2023 are all about gauging your intellectual pursuits, community involvement, and engagements outside the classroom. Since the word limits for the prompts aren’t generous, each of your essays should focus on being as specific as possible in depicting your personality and interests. Adding specific examples lets admissions officers understand your perspective better and envision the areas of campus where you’d contribute and how you’d fit in with the MIT community.

The questions asked by MIT act as your personal statement and supplemental essays all in one. So when thinking about the MIT application essays 2022-2023 , make sure your responses show your passions and perspective in a way that distinguishes you from other applicants. If admissions officers understand your context and agree with the ways you would be a strong fit for MIT, you’ll be one step closer to that acceptance letter. Good luck!

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mit personal statement questions

5 Marvelous MIT Essay Examples

What’s covered:, essay example #1 – simply for the pleasure of it, essay example #2 – overcoming challenges, essay example #3 – dreams and aspirations, essay example #4 – community at a new school, essay example #5 – community in soccer.

  • Where to Get Feedback on Your MIT Essay  

Sophie Alina , an expert advisor on CollegeVine, provided commentary on this post. Advisors offer one-on-one guidance on everything from essays to test prep to financial aid. If you want help writing your essays or feedback on drafts,  book a consultation with Sophie Alina or another skilled advisor.

MIT is a difficult school to be admitted into; a strong essay is key to a successful application. In this post, we will discuss a few essays that real students submitted to MIT, and outline the essays’ strengths and areas of improvement. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved). 

Read our MIT essay breakdown  to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Prompt: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. 

After devouring Lewis Carrolls’ masterpiece, my world shifted off its axis. I transformed into Alice, and my favorite place, the playground, became Wonderland. I would gallivant around, marveling at flowers and pestering my parents with questions, murmuring, “Curiouser and curiouser.” If Alice’s “Drink Me” potion was made out of curiosity, I drank liters of it. Alice, along with fairytale retellings like the Land of Stories by Chris Colfer, kickstarted my lifelong love of reading. 

Especially when I was younger, reading brought me solace when the surrounding world was filled with madness (and sadly, not like the fun kind in Alice in Wonderland ). There are so many nonsensical things that happen in the world, from shootings at a movie theater not thirty minutes from my home, to hate crimes targeted towards elderly Asians. Reading can be a magical escape from these problems, an opportunity to clear one’s mind from chaos. 

As I got older, reading remained an escape, but also became a way to see the world and people from a new perspective. I can step into so many different people’s shoes, from a cyborg mechanic ( Cinder ), to a blind girl in WWII’s France (Marie-Laure, All the Light We Cannot See ). Sure, madness is often prevalent in these worlds too, but reading about how these characters deal with it helps me deal with our world’s madness, too. 

Reading also transcends generational gaps, allowing me to connect to my younger siblings through periodic storytimes. Reading is timeless — something I’ll never tire of. 

What the Essay Did Well

This essay is highly detailed and, while it plays off a common idea that reading is an escape, the writer brings in personal examples of why this is so, making the essay more their own. These personal examples often include strong language (e.g. “devoured,” “gallivant,” “pestering” ), which make the imagery more vivid, the writing more interesting. More advanced language can add more nuance to an essay– instead of “ate,” the writer chooses to say “devoured, ” and you can almost see the writer taking the book in almost as quickly as they might polish off a tray of cookies. 

The writer also discusses how reading can not only be a solace from events that seem nonsensical, but a way to understand the madness in these events. By giving two different examples of how this can be so, that seem so varied from each other (the cyborg mechanic and the girl in WWII’s France), the writer creates more depth to this idea. 

What Could Be Improved

At the beginning, the writer should consider cutting the introduction paragraph by a line to leave more room for the two major points of the essay in the following paragraphs. Instead of a long sentence about a love of reading being kickstarted, the writer could create a short, powerful sentence to kick off the next two paragraphs. “I was in love with reading.” 

The detail at the end about how reading also transcends generational gaps seems like an add-on that doesn’t connect to the past two ideas– instead, I would suggest that this author expand a little more on the prior two ideas and tie them together at the end. “In this timeless world of reading, I can keep drinking from the well of curiosity. In the pages of a book, I have a space to find out more about the world around me, process its events, and more deeply understand others.”

Prompt: Tell us about the most significant challenge you’ve faced or something important that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? 

“It’s… unique,” they say. 

I sag, my younger sister’s koala drawing staring at me from the wall. It always seemed like her art ended up praised and framed, while mine ended up in the trash can when I wasn’t looking. In contrast to my sister, art always came as a bit of a struggle for me. My bowls were lopsided and my portraits looked like demons. Many times, I’ve wanted to scream and quit art once and for all. I craved my parents’ validation, a nod of approval or a frame on the wall. 

Eventually, my art improved, and I made some of my favorite projects, from a ceramic haunted house to mushroom salt-and-pepper shakers. Even then, I didn’t get much praise from my parents, but I realized I genuinely loved art. It wasn’t something I enjoyed because of others’ praise; I just liked creating things of my own and the inexplicable thrill of chasing a challenge. Art has taught me to love failing miserably at something to continue it again the next day. If I never endured countless Bob Ross tutorials, I never would’ve made the mountain painting that I hang in my room today; if I never made pottery that blew up (just once!), I wouldn’t have my giant ceramic pie. 

I’m still light years from being an expert, but I’ll never tire of the kick of a challenge. 

The detail about the sister’s koala drawing being framed and praised while this writer’s portraits look like “demons” and bowls “lopsided” draws a nice contrast between the skills of the sister versus those of the writer.  In response to this “Overcoming Challenges” prompt , the author justifies that this is a significant challenge by saying that they “wanted to scream and quit art once and for all” and that they still desired their parents’ approval. 

The writer’s response to the situation—taking more tutorials online, creating many different pots before getting it right–is nicely framed. Many times, students forget to include examples that demonstrate how they respond to the situation, and this writer does a good job of including some of those details. 

The writer seems to emphasize the parents’ approval piece in the first paragraph, but then moves away from that point more to focus on the “thrill of chasing a challenge.” This essay could be improved by focusing a little more on how the writer emotionally moved past not getting that approval “Even then, I didn’t get much praise from my parents, but I finally realized I didn’t need to focus on that. I could focus on my love of art, on the inexplicable thrill of chasing the challenge…” 

Additionally, the sentence that starts with “Eventually, my art improved…” leaves the reader with the ques tion– how? Saying something like “Eventually, after many YouTube tutorials and a few destroyed pots, my art improved” would add detail, without taking away from the sentence about the Bob Ross tutorials and the pot blowing up. 

Prompt: Describe the world you come from (for example, your family, school, community, city, or town). How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (225 words)

When the school bell rang, I jumped on my bike and sped home to watch the Tom and Jerry cartoon. I took off my school uniform and sat in the living room, pressing the remote’s power button. I pressed it again frantically, feeling another heart drop as the screen remained black. “Oh my God,” I sobbed as I rushed up to ensure that all wires were properly plugged into their respective sockets, but the screen was still black.

I unplugged the television, disassembled it, and examined every component, starting with the power switch. I’ve been tinkering with old radios for a long time, so I easily realized that a power surge had destroyed its capacitor. I replaced it with one from my radio, and the TV turned on immediately. While I couldn’t watch the cartoon, fixing the TV not only made me happy, but it also piqued my interest in the digital world. I began looking into technical opportunities in my community, starting with a nearby repairing shop, where I became acquainted with electronic devices: smart phones, laptops, televisions, and printers. Today, if I’m not repairing people’s electronics, I’m amazed by integrating broken gadgets.

This writer does an excellent job of addressing the “dreams and aspirations” line of this prompt. They clearly describe how their interest in technology emerged, in a well-paced, energetic way that makes us readers vicariously feel their passion and excitement.

Additionally, introducing us to their love of repairing electronics through the seemingly mundane event of their TV not working is a smart choice, for two reasons:

  • Everyone has experienced their TV, phone, laptop, etc. not working, so this story helps readers relate to the student
  • They go on to talk about how they used their newfound skill to help others, and thus portray themselves as someone who views even the simplest occurrence as an opportunity to make the world better

Obviously, one of the main goals of the college essay is to connect with admissions officers, to get them personally invested in your story and, by extension, excited about your potential as an MIT student. Being relatable is one of the best ways to build that connection.

And, of course, MIT wants to accept students who are going “to advance knowledge and educate students in science, technology, and other areas of scholarship that will best serve the nation and the world in the 21st century” (per MIT’s mission statement). At such a selective school, grades and test scores alone won’t set you apart–aligning your values with theirs is critical, and this student does so in a natural, authentic way.

While this essay is well-written, there’s one major issue: the student doesn’t fully answer the prompt. As noted above, they focus primarily on the “dreams and aspirations” line, and while they do tell a compelling story, we don’t learn anything about their “ family, school, community, city, or town,” beyond a brief mention of a repair shop where they live.

Especially at highly selective schools like MIT, admissions officers choose their essay questions carefully, based on the information they feel they need to properly evaluate your candidacy. So, if you fail to answer part of a prompt, in a certain sense your application is incomplete. As you work towards the final draft of your essay, make sure you reread the prompt and confirm you’ve responded to it thoroughly.

In this essay, for example, the writer could have reworked the opening paragraph slightly, to include details about who they typically watch TV with, whether that’s their friends, siblings, parents, or someone else. They also could have gone into more detail about the repair shop, by describing what their boss was like, if they had any coworkers, and so on. These additions would make the student’s “world” come alive in a way it currently doesn’t. 

Of course, fully responding to a prompt while staying under the word count can be hard, but this student actually has 31 extra words at their disposal. And even if they had to make cuts elsewhere, answering all parts of a prompt takes priority over including every single detail in your story.

Finally, on a linguistic level, the ending of this essay is quite abrupt. In a relatively short supplement like this, you don’t need (or even want) a lengthy conclusion, but you should have a quick line or phrase to wrap up the story. 

For example, say the last line read something like “ Today, if I’m not repairing people’s electronics, I’m amazed by integrating broken gadgets, and dreaming of all the fixes I have yet to learn.” With just a few extra words, this version not only brings things full circle by connecting back to the prompt, but also subtly builds a bridge between the student’s current passions and their potential future at MIT.

Prompt: MIT brings people with diverse backgrounds and experiences together to better the lives of others. Our students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being good friends. Describe one way you have collaborated with people who are different from you to contribute to your community. (225 words)

Embarking in a new environment can be challenging, but when everyone is new, it can be disastrous. After completing grade 9, every Rwandan student is transferred to a new school to pursue advanced secondary schooling. When I transferred to a new school, people only talked to those who had previously attended the same school, resulting in fierce competition and people being unable to interact together.

In an effort to solve this problem, I brainstormed ways to bring the entire class together, and “The caremate game” came to mind. I assigned each student a caretaker, another student with whom they were unfamiliar, and required them to look after him / her for the entire week, which included telling stories, buying snacks in the canteen, jogging together, and so on. However, because some people would not accept this game in the first place, I spoke to the tastemakers in the class before introducing it so that they could persuade others.

Everything went as planned; some students who couldn’t even interact before ended up in relationships. Everyone wanted to play it again, and we ended up doing so three times. Today, we are no longer divided; rather, we are a family of brothers and sisters.

In this essay, which is responding to a creative take on the classic “Community” prompt, the student does a great job of showcasing several qualities that MIT prizes in its students: problem-solving, imagination, and empathy, as well as an ability to make a difference in their everyday life.

We also want to highlight that the same student actually wrote both this essay and Example #4. We point this out because these two essays work in tandem, to present the student as simultaneously inventive and altruistic, even in quite ordinary situations. This picture would not be as clear if the student has chosen to highlight one set of qualities in Example #4, and a different set here.

Because college applications are inherently limiting in how much information they allow you to share about yourself–nobody can pack their entire personality into a transcript, an activities list, a 650-word personal statement, and a handful of supplements–some students are tempted to pack as much about themselves into their supplements as possible. However, that approach typically ends up being counterproductive.

Of course, we are all multifaceted, but if you choose to present yourself in three different ways in three different essays, MIT admissions officers may be unclear on who exactly they’d be admitting to their school. Remember, they’re trying to determine not just how well you’d do at MIT yourself, but also how you’d fit into the broader freshman class they’re assembling.

For example, if you were to talk about your love of fixing electronics above and then, say, your Taylor Swift fandom here, admissions officers may have a hard time determining how those two pieces of your personality fit together. After all, they have no additional background context on you, and they also have no choice but to read applications quickly, because they have so many to get through. 

So, while having different, seemingly conflicting sides to your personality is part of being human, in the context of college applications specifically your goal should be to emphasize the same points in each essay, like this student. Cohesive applications are more memorable to admissions officers, as they clearly and directly show what that student has to offer that nobody else in the applicant pool does.

Just like there is some overlap between the strengths of this student’s essays, this essay’s biggest fault is a disconnect with the prompt, which asks applicants to “Describe one way you have collaborated with people who are different from you to contribute to your community.”

Remember, MIT admissions officers choose their prompts carefully. Including the bolded line, rather than having the prompt be just “Describe one way you have contributed to your community” means they want to see collaboration highlighted in your response.

While this student briefly mentions speaking “ to the tastemakers in the class before introducing it so that they could persuade others,” this is the only mention of collaboration in the essay, and we get no detail about what their conversations with these other students looked like, or the specific actions the other students took to ensure the success of the project. When a topic features so prominently in the prompt, you want to make sure you give it more than a passing glance in your response.

We also don’t get any explanation of what made these students different from the author. We can infer that they didn’t go to the same school before, but you never want to leave a key detail up to inference, as it’s always possible your reader doesn’t read you the way you intend. 

Additionally, going to a different school doesn’t tell us what made these students different on a deeper level. MIT wants to see that you’re prepared to thrive at a school with students from all corners of the world, some of whom will have drastically different life experiences from you. Because we don’t know what made this student different from their peers in terms of personality, background, etc., nor how they worked across that difference, we can’t envision how they’d navigate MIT’s diverse student body.

Overall, the takeaway here is that choosing a topic for a college essay is a two-fold process. First, you need to have a strong story, which this student does. But secondly, and just as importantly, you want to cater the details of that story to the specific prompt you’re responding to, so that admissions officers will have all the information they need to make a well-informed decision about your candidacy.

Prompt: At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200-250 words)

“Orange throw!”

As I extended my arm to signal properly, the smallest girl on the orange team picked up the ball to throw it back into play. In AYSO, U10 players often lift their back foot when throwing the ball, so I focused my attention there.

Don’t lift it. Keep it down.

It shot straight up. 

My instincts blew the whistle to stop the game. The rulebook is simple: the rule was broken, give it to the other team. But the way she tried, eager to play, eager to learn and try again— I couldn’t punish that. So I made my way over to the sideline to try it myself.

“When we’re throwing it in, we wanna keep our back foot down. Try again!” After demonstrating, I backpedaled a bit and watched her throw again.

Don’t lift it. Keep it down… Ah, it stayed down.

“Nice throw!”

And just like that, we were off again. These short, educational encounters happen multiple times a game. And while they may not be prescribed, they provide so many learning opportunities. These kids, they’re the future of soccer. If they learn the basics, they can achieve greatness.

Every time I step out onto the pitch, that’s what I see: potential. Little Alex may not throw correctly now, but with work, she could become the next Alex Morgan. That’s why, in every soccer game I referee, every new situation I’m thrust into, I strive to see what’s more; I strive to see the potential.

There is so much imagery in this essay! It’s easy to see the scene in your mind. Through details such as “smallest girl” and describing the team as the “orange,” the reader can more easily picture the scene in their mind. Giving color, size, and other details such as these can make the imagery stronger and the picture clearer in the reader’s mind. 

The writer narrates their thought process through their use of italics, bringing the reader into the mind of the writer. The space for each line of dialogue separates each thought, so that the reader can feel the full emphasis of each line. The mingling of cognitive narration and details about the setting keep the momentum of the essay. 

Through this essay, we learn that this referee is supportive to the members of the youth soccer teams that they are refereeing; instead of seeing the role of referee as punitive (punishing), this writer sees it as a coaching experience. This idea of creating educational encounters as one’s contribution to the community is definitely a great idea to build upon for this essay prompt. 

The contribution to the community is clear because of the emphasis on the coaching aspect of refereeing. However, especially thinking about structure, the author spends about half the essay on a single situation. Limiting this story to a third of the essay could give the writer more space to provide examples of other ways that the author has coached others. The author could have also connected this coaching experience to a mentoring experience in a different context, such as mentoring students at the YMCA,  to create more connections between other extracurriculars and give more weight to this author’s contributions to the community. 

The second to last paragraph ( “And just like that, we were off again…” ) could benefit from another example or two about showing, not telling. The sentence “And while they might not be prescribed, they provide so many learning opportunities” is already clear from the situation that the author has given; the author has already called these “educational encounters” in the prior sentence. Instead of that sentence, the writer could have given another example about a child thanking the writer for a coaching tip, or the expression on a different player’s face when they learned a new skill. 

Additionally, the role of the writer is not immediately clear at the beginning, although it’s suspected that this student is most likely the referee. The writer also provides details about “AYSO” (American Youth Soccer Organization) and “U10,” where they could have simply referred to the games as “youth soccer games” to get the point across that the players are still learning basic skills about throwing the ball in. 

To make all of this clear, the writer could have said “As a referee for youth soccer games, I have seen that players often lift their back foot when throwing the ball, so I focused my attention there.” Acronyms are usually best to be avoided in essays- they can take the reader’s attention away from what is actually happening and lead them to wonder about what the letters in the acronym stand for.

Where to Get Feedback on Your MIT Essay 

Do you want feedback on your MIT  essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Personal Statement

Unlike undergrad applications, the Statement of Purpose (SOP from here on) is meant to be more "professional" than "personal". The purpose of SOP is literally to state your purpose for joining a program: what kinds of math are you interested in? Do you have experiences (research, reading UROPs, classes) in the areas of math you are hoping to pursue? Why are you applying to this specific program, e.g. are there (tenured) professors doing active research in the things you are interested in? In other words, your goal is to convince the professors reading your SOP that the program is a good match for you in terms of your research interests, and to sneak in relevant experiences you have to prove that you can survive (and succeed in) the program.

While there is no "best" template for SOP, there are things that you definitely should avoid. For instance, it is not a good idea to try too hard to impress, especially by writing about mathematical ideas that you don't understand fully. The professors are agile at catching those. It is also generally not a good idea to state that you are only interested in working with one particular professor in the program, unless this is what you really intend to convey. That one professor might not be taking students and your interest might change, so it would make you seem a "riskier" candidate .

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The following perspectives were collected from MIT EECS faculty in Fall 2021; for even more guidance, see also the MIT EECS Comm Lab’s advice on how to write a Graduate School Statement of Purpose .

Hal Abelson

I’m looking for leadership and initiative. My group has a large number of undergraduate students and I look to our grad students to be role models and leaders. Compelling application essays should talk about actual accomplishments: applications you’ve created that others are using, technical organizations you’ve started or where you play a major role. There of course needs to be a track record of academic excellence. But the centerpiece of my group is empowering people of all ages through technology, as users and creators. That passion should come through in the essay–and it’s even better if there’s a track record to point to.

Karl Berggren

An application essay provides a number of useful information points when I’m reading a candidate’s application. I’m mostly looking to see if the person can communicate clearly. Second, I’m trying to find out a bit about the person, especially their personality and motivation, and how they think about science and engineering. Finally, I’m interested in learning a bit about what circumstances have shaped the candidate’s life. This is the place where I want to know if someone has faced exceptional challenges or took advantage of a unique opportunity to do something special. Because of the importance of writing in an academic environment, I’m looking to see if there is structure to the essay, and if paragraphs are well formed. For me, the essay is really not usually the main compelling reason to admit a student, but an essay that is over the top, or is poorly written or poorly structured, sometimes puts me off a candidate who otherwise would be a possible admit.

Adam Chlipala

I think it’s useful to think of PhD applications as more like job applications than earlier educational applications. You are applying to be an apprentice researcher, and thus concrete research experience (attested to by knowledgeable supervisors in letters) is most useful to give evidence that you will succeed. Then the specifics vary by research area. I’m looking for specific technical skills and bigger-picture direction-setting skills. In my area, the former are a mix of software/hardware implementation at a decently large scale and comfort with rigorous math and logic. The latter come down to finding ways that computer systems are developed ineffectively today, and thinking up ways we could change the development tools–ideally applicants can point to cases where they were the ones driving that brainstorming, not just implementing ideas coming from supervisors. Giving some examples of project directions you want to explore is helpful both for showing that kind of initiative, and for helping potential advisors gauge fit with their own interests. However, don’t worry that anyone will hold you to working on any of the specific ideas you list!

Frédo Durand:

Mostly two things:

1/ Can the applicant think and write deeply and intelligently about state-of-the-art technical issues?

2/ What kind of technical area (very broadly speaking) are they interested in?

One challenge for applicants is that the two answers sometimes conflict: the first question requires narrowness, but you probably want to show you’re interested in a broader set of topics to maximize the number of faculty members who feel they may want to work with you. So, I usually advise students not to restrict their essay to their past research, but have a paragraph or two at the end or beginning to list the areas that appeal to them. Ideally, the letter would give me a sense of how they attack an open problem, through the example of past projects (ideally research projects).

Regarding recommendation letters, I want to read about a candidate’s potential to do research. The most insightful letters are from people who have supervised you on a research project, or on a project that involves a fair amount of independence and creativity. I find letters from people who only know a candidate in a class context less useful, unless the student has done a particularly remarkable project. Letters from mentors in industry can be useful, especially if they do or have done research. However, not all applicants (including successful ones) have three letters that are equally thorough, and it’s quite common to have 1 or 2 letters from people who really know you well from a research perspective, and 1 or 2 that are a little more superficial.

Polina Golland

The essay should focus on your interests and look to the future. Describe what problem you would like to tackle in the future and approaches you might want to take. Even if I disagree with what the applicants write, it is revealing on how they think and gets me interested. Keep the description of your (very impressive) past projects to the minimum, mention them only as support for what you want to do in the future. Your CV, other sections of the applications, and recommendation letters will talk about past projects, and it’s a pity to use your essay to rehash it again.

Piotr Indyk

For me, the most important aspect of the application is the evidence of research skills. In the ideal case, it would take the form of publications/manuscripts describing the research project(s) and results, which I can read and review. Descriptions of research projects in recommendation letters and/or the research statement are less optimal, but also OK. However, it is understandable that not all applicants have the same opportunities to pursue undergraduate research. In such cases, I try to infer from other parts of the applications, such as grades (esp. for relevant technical subjects), recommendation letters and other activities like olympiad participation. Regarding the research statement, I find it to be useful as a broad indicator of applicant research interests, but since interests of many (most?) applicants evolve, I do not put that much weight on it.

Daniel Jackson

When I think about taking on a graduate student, I ask myself: is this a good match? I want to be sure that we’ll enjoy each other’s company and be successful working together. That means you’ll be excited by the kind of work I do, and have a reason to think that working with me will be better for you than working with someone else. The students I tend to gel most with want to reconsider how we design and build software, and like to think deeply (and even a bit philosophically) about the fundamental problems. So I read the statement carefully, looking for someone who thinks clearly and creatively, knows a little bit about what I do, isn’t too distracted by technology or formalism for its own sake, and is eager to pursue big ideas. And if there’s some project you’ve done that shows some promise (especially if one of your letter writers can talk about it), so much the better.

Leslie Kaelbling

For me, the most important thing in an application is the best letter of recommendation, by a large margin. The main research letter should speak to the candidate’s creativity, independence, bravery, and ability to get things done. The other letters usually don’t matter much. I like unusual candidates, and am generally more interested in someone who has done something on their own, or in an unusual place, than someone with a lot of papers who spent four years in a very productive and prominent research group. Most essays are neither a positive nor a negative for the application. The ones I remember and value are ones that I learned something from–essays that are actually interesting to read because they have a strong or novel view or that articulate a clear vision. I also like to get the feeling that the candidate really values research intrinsically–that they are not simply applying to do a PhD because it seems like a good stepping stone to something else, or something that is highly esteemed by others. I don’t worry about a few poor grades, if they have an explanation: early in the student’s career, or during one rough semester, or as the result of exploration. I’d rather see a student with a few Bs or a C, who has taken challenging classes, than someone with a perfect GPA and completely standard undergraduate curriculum. I am completely unimpressed by a student who takes twice the normal course load—they should have been doing research!

David Karger

There are two questions that I ask when I’m looking at an application.

(1) Will this student be interested in working on the kinds of things that excite me?

And (2) do they have the independence and organization necessary to work for a laid back, disorganized advisor like me?

For the first question, I like to hear what specific problems interest you, and why. Not why you’ve loved computer science since you got your first PC at age 4, but why you consider certain specific problems important and interesting, and how you might go about trying to solve them. It certainly doesn’t hurt to have looked at some of the work my group is doing, talk about why it’s interesting to you (not just that it is), and maybe give some thoughts on where it might be interesting to take it further. But hearing your own ideas is wonderful too. You need not have solved them already, although it is great to talk about a problem you have already worked on.

The second question is specific to my advising style. I provide a lot of support and feedback to my students, but I don’t do a lot of management. So it’s important for me to know that a student will take initiative, make choices about what to work on, make decisions about designs and implementations, set their own deadlines and meet them, and come to meetings with ideas and questions to move the work forward. Just claiming this in your statement isn’t particularly meaningful, but I look for signs of it in past work (and recommendation letters).

Manolis Kellis

I’m looking to see several things:

(1) Clarity of thought: this comes through in the essay; the vision they have (for the field, how their works fits in, the broader perspective within, next steps, etc); the way they describe their accomplishments (organization, background, clarity of innovation, are they able to explain the problem, the challenge, the novelty, etc); and, of course, their grades and accomplishments.

(2) Research accomplishment: Show that they can innovate, invent, find problems, frame them, and bring things to completion, writing papers, completing projects, packaging up code, creating tools.

(3) Letters: Evidence of standing out, innovation, novelty, ability to make progress independently, yet team spirit and collaboration.

(4) Technical: Of course, their training, the rigor, the background, grades, competitions, etc.

(5) Passion: Especially for an applied field like genomics/biology/medicine, showing that they truly care about the application area, not just about the algorithms, but that they truly have sought to find something novel in the specific application area that they have chosen, and been able to interpret their results and make conclusions about the applied field.

Stefanie Mueller

For me, the most important is that the applicant can show that they have research experience in my research field. Hiring a PhD student is a 5-6 year commitment, so it is very important for me that the applicant can show me that we will produce exciting research together. When I read an application, I first check if the applicant has publications in my research field on topics related to what my research group works on. After this, I look at the recommendation letter writers and see if they come from faculty in my research field and if they talk about that the applicant can conduct research in my field. Letters from outside my research field are not very useful in determining if the applicant can do research in my area. After this, I read the statement of purpose to see if the applicant has ideas that I would also be excited to work on.

Will Oliver

When I read a graduate student applicant’s research statement, I look to obtain a picture of the student and their research interests. This includes the student’s motivations for research. Who is this person, where did they come from, what sparks their interest in science and engineering, how has that been reflected in their lives and their trajectory? I then look for examples of research experience, broadly defined. This could be an experience as an undergraduate researcher, a summer internship, or even a substantial hobby project (to name a few). I look for tangible outputs from those projects, such as a peer-reviewed publication. I then look for what the student wants to accomplish in graduate school. I appreciate a genuine exposition of intellectual curiosity and enthusiasm in describing these goals. While this approach naturally leads to some specificity in research topics, I also look for some flexibility and breadth. For example, even if the student has one top-choice topic or group, it is a good idea to articulate other (often related) areas that would also be of interest.

Al Oppenheim

A long time ago one of my graduate students asked me what I look for in choosing the students to work with. My quick and somewhat playful answer was that I have four criteria: intelligent, creative out of the box thinker, enjoyable to interact with, and coachable. From applications on paper and without personally meeting the applicant, it’s often hard to assess these and particularly the second, third, and fourth. An approximation to the first can be based somewhat on the transcript. The other three, perhaps mostly from the reference letters and personal statement and when possible personal interaction. The two areas in which applications are often weak are in the choice of references and the lack of detail in the reference letters, and in the crafting of the personal statement. In writing the personal statement I’ve typically advised potential applicants to use it as an opportunity to truly show their motivations, goals and personality, rather than trying to pattern match to what they think readers will give high marks to. If the personal statement is genuine and honest, it shows. And if it isn’t, it also shows.

Gerald Jay Sussman

The problem is that we have too many “excellent” applicants, most of whom would do fine in our graduate program. Most would do good, publishable, but incremental research. We accept plenty of those excellent people. But I am looking for the candidates that could break a paradigm and open up a new field of research.

So what I look for in an application is evidence that the candidate has an unusual perspective, perhaps in conflict with the conventional wisdom of the field. I am open to considering crackpots, but I also look for evidence of technical skill and clarity of thought and expression that separates the interesting characters from crackpots.

Additionally, the most persuasive information in an application is reference letters from previous supervisors or teachers who attest to the skill and creativity of the applicant.

George Verghese

Most of my reading of graduate folders necessarily happens at the initial stage of evaluations, when I’m looking for applicants who seem like they would thrive in, and contribute strongly to, our department or a broad research area within it. The application folders that emerge from this reading then get passed on to other faculty for more focused evaluation. So at the initial stage I am not necessarily looking for a good match to my personal research interests or style; that can come later, when I look at short-listed folders, perhaps sent my way by other faculty who think I might want to take a look.

For the initial reading, I first examine the applicant’s academic record, to be reassured that they will be able to handle at least the course work in our graduate program. A few blemishes in early years may be fine, but anything less than a strong overall academic record is likely to be a non-starter (though I will read quickly all the way through the application, feeling I owe at least that much to a hopeful applicant who has paid their application fee!).

I then look for tangible, documented outcomes of activities that go beyond standard academic efforts, whether unusual and independent projects (not standard lab projects in a class), or in research or internships. An important part of the substantiation is in the letters of reference, which have to reflect genuine, specific, modulated knowledge of the applicant and their work, and corresponding enthusiasm. A letter that sounds generic, though filled with superlatives and rating the candidate as Truly Exceptional, will not count for much. I want to know that the letter writers see stellar achievement (in academics and beyond) and potential, based on the specifics of their interaction with and knowledge of the applicant.

Finally, I turn to the student’s statement to get a sense of their voice, how they see and present themselves and their accomplishments, and what they’re looking to find in/with their graduate work. A well-crafted statement that comes across as mature, genuine, and reasonably aware of the field in which they hope to concentrate counts for a lot.

Ryan Williams

When reading a grad school application, I focus on several things. The first (obvious) thing is whether my interests align well with the applicant. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the applicant is working on the same exact problems as me; it means that I try to understand their taste in problems and topics, and how this fits with what we study in my research group. Another important thing is independence (in research, thought, etc): we get many applications from many talented students from all over the world, but we don’t see too many who showed a significant degree of independence in their thought and behavior, different from those around them (including their mentors). This can come out in the statement of purpose, but often more so in the letters. “Independence” can have various interpretations, and I’m deliberately leaving the term somewhat vague, because I think any of those interpretations can be important. Another important thing is the quality of their communication, especially their writing. I always read the statements of purpose carefully, as well as any writing samples the applicant has provided. Of course, letters of recommendation which attest to all of these qualities are also very helpful.

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Supplemental Essays Guide: 2021-2022

Not sure how to approach the MIT essay prompts? With tips from an Ivy League graduate, CollegeAdvisor.com’s guide to the MIT essay questions will show you exactly how to write engaging MIT essays and maximize your chances of admission. For more CollegeAdvisor.com resources on MIT,  click here . Want help crafting your MIT essays? Create your  free account  or  schedule a free consultation  by calling (844) 505-4682.

MIT  Essay Guide Quick Facts:

  • MIT has an acceptance rate of 4%— U.S. News  ranks MIT as a  highly competitive  school.
  • We recommend answering all MIT essays comprehensively and thoughtfully.

Does MIT require supplemental essays?

Yes. In addition to the Common App  personal statement , there are MIT essay  questions . Most of these MIT essays have 250-word requirements, but one of the MIT essays is limited to just 100 words.

Need tips on writing your Common App essay? Check out our blog  article .

How many supplemental essays does MIT require?

There are five total MIT essays: one MIT essay with a 100-word maximum, one MIT essay with a 250-word maximum, and three MIT essay prompts that are required to fall between 200 and 250 words. You’ll want to pay careful attention to word count when writing your MIT essays; it is likely admissions officers will be checking for your attention to detail in these MIT essay prompts.

What essays do you need to write for MIT?

All five MIT essay questions mentioned above are required—no shortcuts or optional MIT essay prompts here! You’ll find the MIT essay examples below.

What does MIT look for in essays?

This guide will break down exactly how to respond to each of the MIT essays. If you want to do additional research for the MIT essays (and you should!), we recommend that you visit the  MIT website  and observe the language they use when describing the type of student that they’re looking for. When you respond to the MIT essay prompts, keep this language in mind. How do you fit in with what they’re looking for in a student? These MIT essay questions are the place in your application to make that even clearer.

Of course, you will want to avoid any grammatical errors that could weaken your MIT essays. You should also strive for clarity of tone and phrasing in all of your MIT essay questions. Use all of your standard exemplary essay-writing practices! Read on for some MIT essay examples to guide your writing.

Does MIT have a main essay?

This is a great question, but no—none of the MIT essays are really the “main” essay you should focus on. We recommend paying equal attention to each of the five MIT essay prompts; just because they vary in length does not make one more or less important than another!

MIT Supplemental Essays – Question 1

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (250 words or fewer)

How do you write an MIT essay?

By breaking down each of the MIT essay examples, this guide will explain how to write an MIT essay.

This first MIT essay is the classic “Tell us more about yourself” college essay question. MIT wants to learn what made you  you.  With this MIT essay, you should think first about your dreams and aspirations. Maybe you want to be a veterinarian; maybe you want to be an engineer.

Once you know how you want to answer the second half of this question, it will provide direction for the first half. Why do you want to be a veterinarian or an engineer? For instance, maybe your community has felt the increasing effects of climate change, which has made you passionate about environmental engineering.

The best way to answer this prompt is to be specific. Pick one aspect that has been influential in your youth, give a brief anecdote explaining it, and then turn to the  how.  For instance, you won’t want to use up too many words describing each and every detail of your school’s journalism club. Instead, succinctly paint a picture that provides insight into why journalism has become so important to you and what you feel you can do with the skills you have learned from it.

MIT  Essay Draft Key Questions :

  • Do you use concise and descriptive words to depict your world?
  • Do you focus on the  why  and not just the  what ?
  • Does your response teach the reader something new about you?

MIT Supplemental Essays – Question 2

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (200–250 words)

This MIT essay just asks what you do for fun! Don’t think your answer has to be scholarly; you don’t have to say that you read textbooks about quantum mechanics in this MIT essay for them to admit you. In all of the MIT essay questions, MIT wants you to be honest. This is a chance to discuss something you haven’t talked about in your other MIT essay questions or the rest of your application.

Out of all the MIT essay examples, this is the hobby question—maybe you’re an amateur magician, or you make short nature documentaries, or you love fishing. No matter what it is, MIT wants to hear about it. You would do best here to use descriptive language to briefly describe your activity of choice. Then, explain  why  it means so much to you. Why do you enjoy it? Maybe it’s the rush of knowing you have succeeded in bamboozling your friends and family with a difficult card trick it took weeks to master. Maybe capturing a snail’s slow journey across a beach reminds you to have patience and perseverance.

Any example like the ones above is great as—just make sure to talk about something you do purely for enjoyment. Most of the MIT essay questions do not ask you to talk about something that sparks joy for you. In this MIT essay, be sure to demonstrate how much you genuinely love the activity you discuss.

  • Does your draft clearly communicate your chosen activity?
  • Do you articulate why your chosen activity matters to you and how it has influenced your growth and identity?
  • Does your supplement provide information not present in the rest of your application?

MIT Supplemental Essays – Question 3

At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200–250 words)

This MIT essay asks you to demonstrate your willingness to help others. The answer to this prompt does not have to be extreme; it can be as simple as watching, cooking for, and cleaning up after your younger siblings while your parents both work full-time, tutoring a friend who’s struggling in calculus, or starting a food pantry at your local library. The  scale  of the contribution is not as important as the  heart  behind it.

You can spend the first half of the essay discussing the activity, and then you should turn to an analysis of why or how it has an impact. It doesn’t have to be big; MIT isn’t expecting you to have saved hundreds of lives. Even an action that seems small can have a big impact—it’s your job to showcase this. And remember that a community can be anything; you just have to define what community means to you in the context of this MIT essay.

  • Do you talk about a specific action you’ve done to improve your community?
  • Does your essay focus on  how  the action was impactful, rather than just describing it?
  • Do you address how you grew from this experience?

MIT Supplemental Essays – Question 4

Tell us about a significant challenge you’ve faced or something that didn’t go according to plan that you feel comfortable sharing. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

Here, MIT asks how you manage failure. They want to see that one, or two, or however many setbacks will not prevent you from overcoming a challenge or an obstacle. For this essay, choose a time when you faced a challenge, then mention why the challenge was particularly important to you. Try to find an original example; a sports injury or getting a C on a test can sometimes seem cliché.

Try to pick something a little more outside the box. Think of a challenge that not many other people applying to MIT have likely faced. If you’re struggling to come up with an interesting challenge, try to put a unique spin on how you overcame the challenge.

Whatever you write, make it specific to  you.  You also want to make sure not to focus too much on describing the challenge itself. Rather, MIT wants to know how the challenge pushed you to grow as an individual. You should try to demonstrate what you learned from the experience. You can also be honest about how scary or frustrating the situation was at first. The important thing is to end with the confidence and knowledge you gained from an ability to adapt and be flexible.

  • Do you explain why this challenge was so important to you?
  • Does your draft demonstrate how you solved or addressed the challenge?
  • Do you reflect on the impact of overcoming this challenge?

MIT Supplemental Essays – Question 5

Pick what field of study at MIT appeals to you the most right now, and tell us more about why this field of study appeals to you. (100 words or fewer)

This is MIT’s combination version of the “Why us?” and the “What do you want to study?” questions. It requires you to name a field of study, rather than discuss the college as a whole, but you’ll still want to make your answer MIT-specific. Start by looking through all of the undergraduate programs MIT offers. Once you list your desired major, jump straight into the  why .

This is the shortest MIT essay you’ll write, so concision is paramount. This is the space to show off your expert investigation and analytical skills: name-drop courses and professors and analyze why they would benefit your academic growth. You can also allude to your previous academic track record and how an MIT education would build on your past intellectual experiences.

  • Did you pick a major that MIT definitely offers?
  • Do you connect the specifics of this major directly to your own academic passions?
  • Does your response supplement and/or complicate the other aspects of your application, with special regard to academic preferences?

MIT Supplemental Essays – Final Thoughts

The MIT essay prompts can seem daunting, but don’t let that discourage you from applying. The MIT essays are a great opportunity to demonstrate who you are for admissions officers reading your application. We hope the above MIT essay examples helped to jumpstart your thinking! These MIT essays can boost your application if you have a  lower than average SAT score  or GPA.

Use this guide as a step-by-step aid when approaching the MIT essay prompts, and start earlier than you think you should. You may believe it will be easy to answer the MIT essay prompts quickly, but it is always better to have more time to draft than less. Don’t be afraid to ask for revisions from someone; it’s helpful to have another set of eyes checking your MIT essays for grammatical errors, tone, and clarity. Good luck!

This essay guide on MIT was written by  Laura Frustaci , ‘21. For more CollegeAdvisor.com resources on MIT,  click here . Want help crafting your MIT essays? Create your  free account  or  schedule a free consultation  by calling (844) 505-4682.

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BrightLink Prep

Sample Personal Statement Finance (MIT Sloan)

mit personal statement questions

by Talha Omer, M.Eng., Cornell Grad

In personal statement samples by field | personal statements samples by university.

Here is the personal statement of an applicant who got admitted to MIT Sloan’s  Masters in Finance program . For personal statement, Sloan poses several questions to applicants, which the admissions committee expects to be answered in an essay form. MIT provides these personal statement prompts to encourage students to self-reflect and then to share their insights with the program. 

The following essays are an example of a compelling story and reflect the original voice and personality of the applicant. Get inspiration from them and try to incorporate their strengths into your own personal statement.

In this Article

Personal Statement Prompt 1

Personal statement prompt 2, personal statement prompt 3.

Please discuss past academic and professional experiences and accomplishments that will help you succeed in the Master of Finance program. Include achievements in finance, math, statistics, and computer sciences, as applicable. 

As an ardent finance student, I have always sought opportunities to develop a solid grounding in the subject.

During my undergraduate, I successfully co-founded a philanthropic long/short Impact Investment Hedge Fund, “Australian Students Asset Management” (ASAM). The fund secured firms like Goldman Sachs to provide pro-bono services and mentorship. In addition, I developed a proprietary ESG algorithm to identify investment opportunities per our social development mandate. As a result, our investments have consistently outperformed our benchmark. Furthermore, I attended two courses at LSE on Alternative Investments and Financial Risk with “A” grades. This involved in-depth exploration of topics like Monte Carlo, Bootstrapping, Financial Modelling and Stratification.

As an Associate at PwC, I created PwC’s first fully automated valuation process. This consisted of using industry-specific valuation templates using Python and VBA for data scraping. This solution saw significant savings for the firm and is now used by PwC throughout the world.

As an analyst with Barclays Capital, a Global Quantitative Hedge Fund, I gained exposure to arbitrage trading strategies by implementing statistical principles like mean reversion, volatility trends and co-integration in Python. This helped me develop successful trading algorithms yielding a highly desirable annualized return of 33%.

Describe your short-term and long-term professional goals. How will our MFin degree help you achieve these goals?

My short-term goal is to return to Australia and establish my own quantitative “for-profit” hedge fund. I will utilize my previous experience co-founding the philanthropic hedge fund, ASAM, to that effect. My long-term goal is to expand this hedge fund’s operations overseas and invest in the North American markets, as they present significant growth opportunities.

At MIT, I am eager to research the implications of current trends in institutional capital flows. This detailed exploration will enhance my understanding of the potential risks of passive investing and provide an edge in building trust with future investors.

As an Analyst at Barclays Capital, I developed event-driven and relative-value trading algorithms using Python. With the MFin, I will create an advanced, intuitive approach to data science problems, enabling the manipulation of alternative data sets to automate trading decisions and executions. The Advanced Analytics and Data Science courses and Analytics Certificate are especially exciting as they will allow me to understand shallow models and train deep neural networks in an economic context. I also hope to improve my technical skills around asset pricing and general dimension reduction techniques and ensemble methods which are critical to forming accurately priced derivatives.

Please share personal qualities that will enable you to contribute to the advancement of our mission.

THE MISSION

The mission of the MIT Sloan School of Management is to develop principled, innovative leaders who improve the world and generate ideas that advance management practice.

I believe success as a Leader requires one to have a passion for taking the initiative, thinking outside the box and persevering in adversity.

These traits have always been integral to my personal and professional pursuits, including my recent experience as a special education teacher in San Pedro, a rural village in Costa Rica. I was required to develop creative methods to overcome the language barrier and constructed visual aids from cardboard pieces to make block numbers. In addition, the school had a dire need for wheelchairs, so I devised a cost-effective design to repurpose old bicycles into wheelchairs that we implemented as a team. My commitment to improving the world through innovation will allow me to contribute actively to MIT’s mission.

Furthermore, my extensive involvement in boxing has enabled me to develop perseverance and increased focus in facing challenges. My first loss was devastating, and I considered giving up the sport, as my goal had been to maintain a perfect record. Ultimately, increasing training intensity, dance classes and the strong support from my team allowed me to win my next match and achieve the Most Improved Fighter award by the Sydney Boxing League.

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First-year applicants: Biographical & personal information

As you get started on your application, here are a few things that we want you to know before you tell us more about yourself.

We ask that you use one email for all activities related to your application — including communicating with us and registering for standardized tests —so the email you list on your application should match the email that you used to create your account. And please make sure that it’s an email you’ll have access to through next summer.

Name and preferred name

When filling out these fields, you should use your current, legal first and last name. This is important so that our application matches your financial aid records.

We also ask you what you’d like us to call you. If you enter a preferred first name, this name will be used in all official print and email communication from our office unless you tell us otherwise. We will give you this option later in the application.

We want to know your home address, which is your permanent address. If we send you mail it will be sent to your home address unless you’ve indicated a mailing address.

Biographical information

We recognize that gender is nuanced and complex, and you are encouraged but not required to provide information about your gender. Responses will be used for reporting purposes and to help us provide relevant resources on campus.

Citizenship

Please select the country of your primary citizenship. If you have dual citizenship, you should apply to MIT with your U.S. citizenship status. If you hold a non-U.S. dual citizenship, you may select your preferred country and your application will be listed as international in our application process. We don’t have any preference as to which country you list.

Pronouns and preferred name

You may indicate your pronouns in this section (for example, he/him, she/her, they/them).

This is where we will ask you if you want us to use your preferred name  in all official print and email communication from our office.

Sexual orientation

Please know that we will not share this information with your family or publicly, and we will never mail anything to your house specifically addressing your gender identity or sexual orientation. If admitted, you may receive emails from our office relating to resources on campus.

Religious affiliation

If you are admitted, you may receive an email or two from our campus spiritual leaders, sharing information about resources available at MIT. However, we do not share your contact information with them, we reach out on their behalf. They will only have your information if you choose to reach out to them directly.

Family information

You will be asked to provide a bit of information about the people you consider to be your parents in the application, whether they are your biological parents, adoptive parents, or stepparents. You may also list up to two additional caregivers or guardians, as well as other members of your household like siblings.

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Examples: Edited Papers

Need editing and proofreading services, personal statement editing services: craft a winning essay.

  • Tags: Academic Editing , Academic Writing , Essay , Resume Editing , Writing Tips

Do you know that you can distinguish yourself from your competitors with a well-crafted personal statement? Educational institutes, admission committees, and employers typically require applicants to submit a personal statement. 

But does the thought of writing an inspirational personal statement bother you? If yes, all you need to do is avail yourself of personal statement editing services to get that perfectly written statement. 

Read on as we explore what the best personal statement editing services can do for you. This article will also throw light on the importance of using professional editing services for personal statements.

Worried about editing your personal statement? Explore our services. Learn more

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a summary of your skills, qualifications, and experiences compiled in the form of a persuasive essay for a specific purpose and audience. It enables you to introduce yourself to decision-makers at various institutions before you meet them in person. 

When opportunities are limited and the competition is tough, this is a critical document that allows you to showcase your unique talents. 

A well-written personal statement has the power to communicate your aspirations, values, and beliefs to admissions committees at colleges. This is among the most important documents that determine whether you can secure a seat at an educational institution of your choice. 

Ten popular personal statement editing services 

1. papertrue.

The stress of writing and editing your essay or personal statement can get to you. And who wants that? With PaperTrue, you can keep your eye on the ball.

We offer a range of editing services, including personal statement editing. Known for our superior editing and quick turnaround times, we have professional editors specializing in various academic and professional fields.

Key features:

  • Secure and confidential service with 24/7 customer support
  • Free sample edits
  • Affordable pricing with multiple service tiers

Scribbr specializes in academic editing and proofreading services, including personal statements. They have a rigorous selection process for their editors, ensuring high-quality edits. 

Their rates depend on the turnaround time you need, in addition to the specific requirements you specify while placing the order. For instance, the word count, number of revisions, etc., matter. 

  • Detailed feedback on structure, clarity, and style
  • Personalized and in-depth editing
  • Extensive knowledge of different citation styles

3. ServiceScape

ServiceScape connects its customers with freelance editors and proofreaders. They offer a wide range of editing services, including personal statement editing. You can choose an editor based on their profile, reviews, and expertise.

Each editor working with ServiceScape has a profile page that you can visit to get in-depth information about their experience, editing style, qualifications, and rates.

  • Personalized selection of editors
  • Customizable services
  • Multiple expertise areas

4. Wordvice

Wordvice provides editing and proofreading services for various documents, including personal statements. They focus on enhancing the writing quality while maintaining the original voice and intent.

The price depends on the word count, the service you select, and the specified delivery time.

  • Quick turnaround times
  • Professional editors with subject matter expertise
  • Comprehensive language and content review

5. EssayEdge

EssayEdge is a well-known service specializing in college admission essay editing, including personal statements. They offer various levels of service from proofreading to full editing and critique.

They offer 4 different types of service packages, and the price depends on the type of work, academic program level, and delivery requirements.

  • Editors with experience in admissions processes
  • Detailed feedback on content, structure, and style
  • Options for different levels of editing

6. TheMatchGuy

TheMatchGuy offers comprehensive personal statement editing services specifically for applicants vying for medical residency positions. Experienced physician advisors on their team provide in-depth editing that goes beyond grammar and style. 

Their basic service starts at $299. 

  • Experienced physicians edit medical residency applications
  • Content, structure, and language corrections 
  • Revisions for consistency and high-quality feedback.

Proofed is a professional proofreading and editing service offering a range of services to help you improve the clarity, accuracy, and overall quality of your written content. 

With more than 750 editors on their team, you have access to subject matter expertise when you place an order with Proofed. Their pay-as-you-go service package starts at $30 for 1000 words. 

  • Language, grammar, and syntax corrections
  • Clean copy and track changes versions are made available 
  • 15 document formats can be handled

8. Harvard Square Essays

This is an admissions consulting firm that specializes in essay editing. As the name suggests, the firm only hires Harvard-educated editors. 

They offer a range of essay and personal statement editing services, including admission essay editing for medical, law, management programs, etc. 

Their standard service called “Elite Editing Service” starts at $149. 

  • 24 to 48 hours turnaround time
  • 10000+ essays handled to date
  • Focus on crafting impactful personal stories

9. Words R U

WordsRU takes care of typographical, grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors, in addition to dealing with word choice and sentence construction issues.

Their team of editors is familiar with various citation styles, including APA, Chicago, MLA, Turabian, IEEE, BlueBook, and Harvard, among others.

Basic and Plus services are available; the price depends on the word count and deadline. 

  • A detailed feedback mechanism in certain service packages
  • An extensive suite of editing services for nearly all content forms
  • 24/7 customer service

10. Scribendi

Scribendi has a team of highly experienced editors who specialize in editing personal statements. Going beyond grammar and punctuation, they offer structural editing and constructive feedback to help candidates improve their content.

Their pricing structure is based on the word count and the turnaround time. For a personal statement of 1,000 words made available to you within 8 hours, Scribendi will charge around $69.

  • Admissions-focused editing and feedback
  • Personalized guidance to help students communicate better
  • Tracked revisions and personal commentary on essays

Why should I get my personal statement edited by professionals?

When a document as important as a personal statement needs to be submitted for decision-making during a college application process, its quality matters. 

Personal statement editing services are professional editing services that gather the relevant information to optimize your profile for presentation to decision-makers. Experienced editors with extensive expertise in various academic and professional fields usually offer these services. They work closely with applicants to refine the candidates’ personal statements. 

Personal statement editing service providers focus on ensuring content clarity. They align the content not only with an applicant’s goals but also with their inherent strengths. Keeping the eligibility requirements of educational institutions or colleges in view, these professionals craft compelling personal statements that highlight an applicant’s accomplishments and noteworthy attributes. 

Here are some quick benefits of seeking professional personal statement editing services: 

  • A higher chance of acceptance 
  • A confidence boost
  • Time-saving
  • Reduced stress

What does a personal statement editing service offer?

A personal statement editing service typically offers a range of services. Let us briefly study them. 

  • Expertise: Trained editors are well-versed in the dos and don’ts of personal statement writing and can provide valuable insights to help you write a statement that stands out.
  • Custom editing support: Personal statement editing services tailor the statement to your needs, taking your background and goals into account before finalizing their editing approach .
  • Objective feedback: Personal statement editors take an unbiased approach and share constructive feedback to improve the overall quality of your statement.
  • Content clarity and cohesion: Editors can improve the content and enhance the flow of ideas to ensure that the statement is well-structured and engaging. 
  • Grammar and style: Editors can help correct grammar, punctuation, and style issues, ensuring the best parts of your profile are outlined well.
  • Plagiarism checks: Like other industries, plagiarism is considered highly unprofessional and unethical in the world of education and academics as well. Hence, plagiarism checks are a crucial service a professional can offer. 
  • Formatting: Personal statement editing services can give your document a well-thought-out format , making it look professional.

How to select a personal statement editing service provider?

When selecting a personal statement editing service, consider the following factors:

  • Reputation: Professional editing services with a proven track record of success indicate experience, knowledge, and effectiveness. Read reviews and testimonials and ask for work samples before you commit to availing a service.
  • Specialization: Personal statement editing services may have competence in specific fields. That’s why you should select a service based on your precise needs. For example, if your objective is to get into a specific med school, look for medical school personal statement editing services. 
  • Pricing and services: The price is an important consideration. Also, find out what is included in the package. Will you have everything you need for essay editing and proofreading after buying the service? How many rounds of revision do you need? Determine these details and select a service provider accordingly. 

Personal statement editing services can prove invaluable in helping applicants create powerful personal statements and essays. If you are a high school student applying to college or a professional seeking a career change, investing in a personal statement editing service is a good idea.

If you have already written your essay and need essay editing and proofreading services , contact PaperTrue, a top personal statement editing service online. Talk to us to learn more about what our editing and proofreading package for essays and personal statements offers.

Here are a few other articles that might help you on your academic journey:

  • The 10 Best Essential Resources for Academic Research
  • How to Write a Dissertation | 5 Tips from Academic Editors
  • How to Write a Lab Report: Examples from Academic Editors
  • The Ethics of Academic Research
  • 5 Reasons to Cite Your Sources Properly | Avoid Plagiarism!

Frequently Asked Questions

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Personal statement.

In the first session, students were asked to fill out the following questionnaire:

Your name:  Your email:  Year of graduation:  Have you completed 11.124 and 11.125?

The subject(s) you wish to be certified in:  The school(s) you are most interested in doing your student teaching:

Write a brief personal statement (this will become part of the folder submitted in your behalf for certification purposes).

Answer the following questions:

  • Why do you want to be a teacher?
  • Describe any experiences you have had working with children.
  • What do you hope to learn this year?
  • Are there any special circumstances/concerns I should be aware of in terms of your teacher application process?

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Purdue Online Writing Lab: Writing the Personal Statement

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Writing the Personal Statement

by the Purdue Online Writing Lab

The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

IMAGES

  1. Learn How To Write A Personal Statement

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  2. Best Personal Statement Examples in 2023 + Why Do They Work?

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  3. Download statement of purpose example 10

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  4. Graduate School Personal Statement : Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard

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  5. Fillable Online economics mit personal statement Sept Fax Email Print

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  6. Writing a Strong Personal Statement for College: Tips and Ideas

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VIDEO

  1. How to prepare your personal statement for the residency application #doctor #medschool #students

  2. Bundesverwaltung baut Personal auf

  3. Statement REINER FÜLLMICH 12.06.2024

  4. What to write in personal statement

  5. MIT Interview Questions

  6. How to improve your personal statement

COMMENTS

  1. Graduate School Personal Statement : NSE Communication Lab

    Structure of a personal statement. As long as you stay within the specifications set by your target program, you have the freedom to structure your personal statement as you wish. Still, you can use the structure shown on the right as a loose guide for demonstrating match. 2.1. Create a personal narrative.

  2. Essays, activities & academics

    Rather than asking you to write one long essay, the MIT application consists of several short response questions and essays designed to help us get to know you. Remember that this is not a writing test. Be honest, be open, be authentic—this is your opportunity to connect with us. You should certainly be thoughtful about your essays, but if ...

  3. Statement of Purpose for Graduate School

    Criteria for Success. Your personal statement convinces a faculty committee that you are… qualified for their program, and a good fit for their program's focus and goals.; You show a select group of skills and experiences that concisely convey your scientific accomplishments and interests.; Your experiences are concrete and quantitative.; Your personal statement is no more than 2 pages ...

  4. Graduate School Statement of Purpose : EECS Communication Lab

    The graduate school statement of purpose should strengthen your chance of acceptance into a graduate program by demonstrating that you are a good match for the particular department or program. Matching goes both ways: they should be interested in you, and you should be interested in them. Your statement should make this match clear by telling ...

  5. How to Craft a Personal Statement

    1. The Hook. A great way to begin a personal statement is by briefly telling a story about a moment when you had some sort of poignant experience or a pivotal moment that led you down the path to graduate school/a postdoc/whatever you're applying for. If you're having trouble getting started, a great exercise is to think back and come up ...

  6. Graduate School Application Essays

    Use the Outlining Your Statement of Purpose guide in the Resources section of Handshake to get started on your statement outline. How to Write a Powerful Admission Essay. Whatever required format, your essay should be thoughtful, concise, compelling, and interesting. Remember, admissions officers read hundreds of personal essays.

  7. Drafting a personal statement

    The personal statement should demonstrate that you are organized, strategic, and have a clear thought process, showing that you are qualified to carry out the work in your research proposal. MIT Office of Graduate Education 77 Massachusetts Avenue Room 3-107 Cambridge, MA 02139-4307. [email protected].

  8. How to Write the MIT Application Essays 2023-2024

    For the 2023-2024 application cycle, MIT is requiring students to complete 5 additional essays, all of which, understandably, can seem quite intimidating upon first glance. However, CollegeVine is here to help and offer our guide on how to tackle MIT's essays! Read these MIT essay examples to inspire your writing.

  9. Complete Guide to the MIT Application

    In lieu of a personal statement, MIT has five short answer essay questions. Even though they are all under 250 words, this is still no easy feat. Here are the prompts: Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (250 words or fewer)

  10. Write Your Personal Statement

    If you would like discuss your personal statement, email your essay to the advisor 24 business hours prior to your appointment. If not, your appointment may be cancelled. Email: Send a Word document of your essay to [email protected]. (Please no PDFs.) We will send you feedback on your draft within three to four business days.

  11. How to Write the MIT Application Essays 2021-2022

    The questions asked by MIT act as your personal statement and supplemental essays all in one. So when thinking about the MIT application essays 2021-2022, make sure your responses show your passions and perspective in a way that distinguishes you from other applicants. If admissions officers understand your context and agree with the ways you ...

  12. How to Write the MIT Application Essays 2022-2023

    The questions asked by MIT act as your personal statement and supplemental essays all in one. So when thinking about the MIT application essays 2022-2023, make sure your responses show your passions and perspective in a way that distinguishes you from other applicants. If admissions officers understand your context and agree with the ways you ...

  13. 5 Marvelous MIT Essay Examples

    Essay Example #1 - Simply for the Pleasure of It. Essay Example #2 - Overcoming Challenges. Essay Example #3 - Dreams and Aspirations. Essay Example #4 - Community at a New School. Essay Example #5 - Community in Soccer. Where to Get Feedback on Your MIT Essay. Sophie Alina, an expert advisor on CollegeVine, provided commentary on ...

  14. Personal Statement : Civil and Environmental Engineering Communication Lab

    Tell a story about yourself. The Personal Statement is thought to be more informal and less structured than the Statement of Purpose. Although some formality in the writing should be preserved, in this statement you have the freedom to express yourself and show the reviewing committee who you really are. Be specific and avoid clichés.

  15. Personal Statement

    Your mentor can share how they wrote a personal statement and tips and tricks to get admissions committees to like you. Mentors can also help you edit a draft of a personal statement. Get a mentor. Personal Statement. Unlike undergrad applications, the Statement of Purpose (SOP from here on) is meant to be more "professional" than "personal". ...

  16. What faculty members are looking for in a grad school statement of

    In writing the personal statement I've typically advised potential applicants to use it as an opportunity to truly show their motivations, goals and personality, rather than trying to pattern match to what they think readers will give high marks to. If the personal statement is genuine and honest, it shows.

  17. Graduate School Application Materials

    Graduate programs want students with clear commitment to the field. Graduate school application essays typically ask applicants to discuss their previous experience, future professional goals, and how the program can help them in achieving those objectives. The personal statement gives the applicant the chance to articulate these goals and ...

  18. MIT Supplemental Essays Guide: 2021-2022

    MIT has an acceptance rate of 4%—U.S. News ranks MIT as a highly competitive school. We recommend answering all MIT essays comprehensively and thoughtfully. Does MIT require supplemental essays? Yes. In addition to the Common App personal statement, there are MIT essay questions. Most of these MIT essays have 250-word requirements, but one of ...

  19. Graduate School Personal Statement

    Criteria for Success. Your personal statement convinces a faculty committee that you are qualified for their program. It convinces them that you a good fit for their program's focus and goals. You show a select group of skills and experiences that convey your scientific accomplishments and interests. Your experiences are concrete and ...

  20. Sample Personal Statement Finance (MIT Sloan)

    Here is the personal statement of an applicant who got admitted to MIT Sloan's Masters in Finance program. For personal statement, Sloan poses several questions to applicants, which the admissions committee expects to be answered in an essay form. MIT provides these personal statement prompts to encourage students to self-reflect and then to ...

  21. Biographical & personal information

    You may also list up to two additional caregivers or guardians, as well as other members of your household like siblings. At MIT Admissions, we recruit and enroll a talented and diverse class of undergraduates who will learn to use science, technology, and other areas of scholarship to serve the nation and the world in the 21st century.

  22. PDF This is an example personal statement written by a student who was

    professor. Earning a Ph.D. in Computer Science at MIT would allow me to pursue my research interests and give me new opportunities to contribute to the field. My past research experiences have helped me discover new ways of thinking and pinpoint my interests. In Spring and Fall of 2014, I joined Prof.

  23. Personal Statement Editing Services: Craft a Winning Essay

    What does a personal statement editing service offer? A personal statement editing service typically offers a range of services. Let us briefly study them. Expertise: Trained editors are well-versed in the dos and don'ts of personal statement writing and can provide valuable insights to help you write a statement that stands out.

  24. Personal Statement

    Write a brief personal statement (this will become part of the folder submitted in your behalf for certification purposes). ... Answer the following questions: Why do you want to be a teacher? ... MIT OCW is not responsible for any content on third party sites, nor does a link suggest an endorsement of those sites and/or their content. Stay ...

  25. Applicant Webinar Series

    Personal statements Support for applicants, their advisers and supporters through every step of the application process. Each webinar features admissions staff talking about a specific stage of the application process, with the opportunity for you to ask questions.

  26. Purdue Online Writing Lab: Writing the Personal Statement

    The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories: 1. The general, comprehensive personal statement: This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms. 2.