dirty jokes about homework

Homework Jokes

Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

Me: i'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework, so little billy give the "dog ate my homework" excuses., for cookery class, our homework was to bake something., my son looked up from his homework and asked me, "dad, what’s an acorn" i smiled and explained..., my add always beats me when i’m trying to do my homework., my mom said that if i don't get off my computer and do my homework, she's gonna slam my head on the keyboard., for my chemistry homework, i was supposed to write a thousand words on acid., my daughter was doing her homework and asked me what i knew about galileo., little johnny was doing his maths homework., a third grade teacher had her students ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral for their homework one day., what is democracy a boy is asked at school as homework., why did the kid eat his homework, today i taught my son a valuable life lesson by eating his homework., a little boy was doing his math homework, one afternoon a teacher gives her class a homework assignment to go home and have their parents tell them a story with a moral., little johnny is doing his homework, and mom hears him say..., hey, junior you think your teacher knows that i help you with homework, father: when abe lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight., professor: the homework is due monday., a kid and his homework, homework., i always put my glasses on when doing math homework., homework is like a penis...., a first grader is working on his math homework, after i broke my elbow, my buddy wrote all my homework assignments on my cast., student doesn't turn in homework., mom: "no more tv until you finish your math homework", are you my homework, a teacher just graded one of her students’ homework 9/10 and 14/10, math teacher: your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you have all the correct answers, kindergarten homework assignment, a teacher asked..., i was listening to my son do his math homework at the kitchen table, little johnny's homework, little teddy’s doing very poorly in math, so his parents enroll him in catholic school., helping with the homework, my friend asked me to assist him with his math homework., "dad, can you help me with my homework", little johnny's teacher gives the class a homework assignment, interactive joke, doing your homework prevents embarrassment., what do you call a student who puts off their math homework, my son asked me to help with his homework the other day., a third grade teacher assigns her students homework, the class had to write a short, rhyming, two-lines poem as homework., i was working on my quantum physics homework when my mom came barging in..., son needs help with homework., i listen to the ussr anthem while doing my homework, "i'm gonna treat you like i treat my homework", you don't have to do homework, a man buys a robot that slaps people when they tell a lie., this homework must be making me gay.., why couldn't the atheist finish his homework assignment on exponents, i got a paper cut from my statistics homework., one day teacher asked sam that did his father help him with his homework., what did the mexican say when his homework flew out the window, a joke i thought of when doing physics homework, what did a mexican professor assign for homework last night, a young asian boy comes home with his homework, got my homework back and it's full of big green ticks., my old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her, death jokes for a homework assignment, a small boy has homework.., a father buys a lie detector that slaps people when they lie. he decided to test it out at dinner one night., sex is like homework, i need help with my geometry homework, i was so busy with maths homework that i didn't brush my teeth for a week, i don't trust a teacher who reviews every single piece of homework they give out, little matt is doing his math homework ..., why did the school kids eat their homework, husband: you're like homework, sam: hey, you need help with your college homework, barron trump: "dad, can you help me with my economics homework", why did the student need to get a guardian to help them with their trigonometry homework, little ahmed is doing his biology homework., what was the chef's excuse for missing homework, the teacher asks, "flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited", some homework help, a young sauron turns in his homework..., little billy forgot to do his science homework on insects..., i'll do you like my math homework, apparently doing your homework while watching stand-up comedy is quite difficult, i'll do you like i do my homework....

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The Best Dirty Jokes For Adults Only

These collections of the best dirty jokes are strictly for adults only! If you’re dirty minded and like a bit of rude and risque humor and innuendo , then these jokes will be right up your alley! Enjoy them!

Best Dirty Jokes For Adults

Funny dirty jokes.

After two minutes she said all charges were being dropped due to a lack of evidence.

A guy goes to the supermarket one day. He’s doing his shopping when he notices an attractive young woman waving at him.

She looks into his eyes and calmly replies, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”

Once you’ve had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either.

And it was at that point that I resolved never to visit Thailand again.

A sad-looking man walks into a bar. He looks so down the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?”

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Honestly, if I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself or drinking myself to death, I’d kill the guy.”

The bartender is nervous now. He’s afraid to ask but eventually says, “Did you kill the guy?”

But it wasn’t until I spanked a statue that I knew I’d hit rock bottom.

The other day I got pulled over by a cop. When he walked up, I pulled out my 9mm.

I was talking to a feminist today when she told me about the “Dwayne Johnson Rule.”

His mother replied, “Well, start giving them bad grades and they’ll stop.”

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied as nonchalantly as she could. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too.”

Ever since I installed Adblocker Plus things haven’t been going too well.

Dirty Dad Jokes

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down…

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

Dirty Santa Jokes

He always wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.

Dirty Knock Knock Jokes

Who’s there?

Knock knock.

Al let you touch my booty if you open this door.

Dirty One Liner Jokes

Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally.

I nicknamed my dong “Coin Flip” because it’s always getting either head or tail.

More Dirty Jokes

Funny adult jokes, dirty christmas jokes, dirty thanksgiving jokes, dirty adult riddles, dirty pick up lines for girls.

Why should guys have all the naughty fun? Ladies, check out these dirty pick up lines for girls!

Dirty Pick Up Lines For Guys

More fun and laughter, share the fun:, 1 thought on “the best dirty jokes for adults only”.

Great jokes, thanks

608 Homework Jokes That Will Make You the Class Clown

If you’re here, it means you’re ready to crack open the world of homework jokes.

Not just any jokes, but the top of the class.

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most hilarious homework jokes.

From math-tastic puns to literary one-liners, our compilation has a joke for every subject matter.

So, let’s dive into the fun-filled world of homework humor, one joke at a time.

Homework Jokes

Homework jokes have a special way of lightening up the mood even during the most stressful times.

They’re not just about the homework itself but the whole experience that surrounds it.

From the nagging reminders from parents to finish homework to the procrastination and last-minute rush, there’s a lot of humor to be found in these situations.

Creating a hilarious homework joke involves playing with familiar scenarios, expectations, and the universal student experience (like the panic when the teacher collects homework you forgot about or the sweet relief when the teacher forgets to collect it).

Ready to turn your study blues into laughter cues?

Dive into fun with these homework jokes:

Why did the ghost go to school? To improve his haunting grades… in boo-logy!
Why did the ghost refuse to do its homework? Because it was afraid of being sheeted!
Why was the math book sad after the test? Because it realized all its problems were unsolvable!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright (doing their homework) that it hurt her eyes!
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake! But he got in trouble when his teacher found out it was actually his sister’s science project!
Why do birds do well in school? Because they always owl-ways do their homework!
Why did the ghost refuse to do his homework? Because he could never find a ghoul tutor.
Why did the ghost do well on his homework? Because he ghouled it.
Why did the teacher jump into the swimming pool with her clothes on? Because she wanted to test the water for her students’ homework!
Why did the ghost get in trouble during homework time? It kept haunting the answers!
Why did the scarecrow become a successful student? Because he was outstanding in his field of homework!
Why did the student’s report card look like a pirate? Because it was full of D’s (dees).
Why did the teacher send her students to detention? Because they were not doing their homework and it was a real class act!
Why did the pencil go to the psychiatrist? Because it had too many erasers to deal with!
Why did the pencil do well in school? Because it was sharp!
Why did the pencil go to school early? To do its pre-homework.
Why did the ghost always get A’s on his homework? Because he had a “boo-tiful” mind!
What’s the best time to do homework? Never! It’s always better to procrastinate!
Why did the pencil always get its homework done? Because it was always sharp.
Why do scientists say doing homework is like getting on a treadmill? Because you’re not going anywhere, but you’re still exhausted!
Why did the pencil blush during the test? Because it realized its eraser was gone!
Why did the paper clip go to the therapist? It was feeling bent out of shape from all the homework.
What did one pencil say to the other pencil during homework time? “You’re looking sharp today!”
Why did the student eat his algebra homework? He wanted to solve the equation inside him.
Why did the pencil bring a ladder to school? It wanted to do some high-level homework!
Why did the scarecrow get an A+ on his homework? Because he heard it was a piece of cake!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! Just like my homework excuse.
Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the math homework? Because it saw the addition problems and felt saucy!
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil during homework? Stop going in circles and get to the point!
Why did the pencil go to school early? To get ahead of all the other stationary!
Why did the ghost become a teacher? Because he had a lot of boo-k (book) reports to grade for homework!
Why did the student bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to reach the high shelves of knowledge and avoid doing homework!
Why did the banana go to school? Because it wanted to learn the “a-peel” of knowledge!
Why did the student eat their homework instead of turning it in? They thought it was a piece of cake!
What do you call a person who doesn’t do their homework? A “missteak”!
Why did the science book get in trouble? It always had the wrong “elements” in its homework!
Why did the ghost go to school? To brush up on his boo-logy!
What do you call someone who only does their homework on April Fool’s Day? A foolscap!
Why did the ghost fail his homework? Because he couldn’t “ghoul” through it!
Why did the ghost refuse to do his homework? Because he couldn’t find a boo-k to study from!
Why did the pencil go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a date and had to do its homework instead!
Why did the cookie eat its homework? It thought it could get a “sweet” grade!
Why do flowers never do their homework? Because they always like to take notes in their own petals!
Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because he heard the grades were high and he wanted to climb the ladder of success (in homework)!
Why did the student put their homework in the blender? Because they wanted to make it into a smoothie.
Why did the student bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard the homework was on a higher shelf!
Why did the teacher marry the janitor? Because he swept her off her feet!
Why was the math book feeling down? Because it had too many problems… and not enough solutions!
Why did the book go to the doctor? It had a spine problem from carrying too much homework!
Why did the ghost fail its homework assignment? It couldn’t find any boo-ks to study!
Why did the student take a ladder to the library? Because they heard it had high shelves.
Why did the book go to the doctor? Because it had too many spine problems from all the heavy homework!
Why did the pencil bring a ladder to class? Because it wanted to get high marks.
Why did the pencil do well on his homework? Because he did all of his erasing before turning it in.
Why did the teacher jump into the swimming pool? Because she wanted to test the waters before assigning the homework!
Why was the math book sad after school? Because it had too many problems to solve, and none of them wanted to be its friend!
What do you call a bear with no homework? A grizzly without work!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses while grading homework? Because the students’ answers were too bright to handle!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during class? Because her students were so bright, she needed shade from their brilliant homework answers!
Why did the math teacher open a bakery? Because she wanted to show her students how to multiply using dough.
Why was the math book sad after being given homework? It felt too square and just wanted to be around circles!
Why did the homework go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling well and needed some medical attention for being so difficult!
Why do bananas never do their homework? They are always peeling away from it!
Why did the pencil do poorly on his homework? He wasn’t very sharp.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including your excuses for not doing your homework!
Why did the clock get in trouble in school? Because it tocked too much during class!
Why did the scarecrow become a teacher? Because he was outstanding in his field, especially when it came to grading homework!
Why did the ghost get an A+ on their homework? Because they did a boo-tiful job!
Why did the teacher eat the student’s homework? Because he thought it was a well-done assignment!
What do you call a teacher who never stays in one place? A wanderer.
Why did the pencil get a bad grade? Because it didn’t do its homework.
Why did the ghost never finish his homework? It kept disappearing on him.
Why did the scarecrow refuse to do its homework? It heard it was just a bunch of crop, so it decided to skip it!
What did the paper say to the pencil? “You’ve got a good point!”
Why did the ghost not do his homework? He had no-body to help him!
Why did the scarecrow not want to do his homework? Because he was already outstanding in his field.
What’s a pirate’s least favorite type of homework? The “arrrrrrrrrrrrt” assignment!
What did the math book say to the history book? “Stop trying to solve your problems, just look at my answers!”
Why did the scarecrow get a low grade on his homework? Because he didn’t have any brains!
Why did the pencil get a detention? It didn’t do its homework properly… it only wrote half the answers!
Why did the pencil bring a eraser to its homework? Because it knew it was going to make a lot of mistakes!
Why did the pencil skip school? Because it didn’t have any point!
Why did the paper clip get detention? Because it was bending the rules!
Why was the math book sad after finishing homework? It had too many exponents to deal with!
Why did the pencil go to the party by itself? Because it couldn’t find a point to bring!
Why did the boy eat his homework with ketchup? Because it was a tomato-based assignment.
Why did the pencil go to school early? To do its homework before anyone could erase it!

Short Homework Jokes

Short homework jokes are like the elusive correct answer on a challenging assignment – surprising, delightful, and rewarding when found.

These jokes are perfect for lightening the mood during study sessions, adding a bit of humor to school presentations, or just sharing a chuckle with classmates.

The genius of short homework jokes lies in their ability to make even the most mundane schoolwork seem amusing, delivering giggles in just a sentence or two.

Without further ado, it’s time to hit the books!

Here are some short homework jokes that will make even the toughest study night a little bit lighter.

What do you call a dog that eats homework? A “Lab-report” retriever!
Why do bananas never finish their homework? Because they’re always peeling out.
Why do math books look sad? Because they have too many problems!
Why do teachers like whiteboards? Because they’re remarkable!
What do you call homework that jumps off a cliff? A cliff-hanger!
What do you call a snowman who does your homework? A snow-flake.
Why did the pen get detention? It couldn’t control its ink-lination!
Why did the teacher assign homework on gardening? To help students mulch-task.
What’s the hardest part about doing homework? Waking up!
Why was the computer cold during homework? It left its Windows open!
Why do scientists love doing homework? Because it’s their lab work!
Why didn’t the sun do his homework? Because it already set!
Why did the broom go to school? To sweep up the homework!
What do you call a fake stone? A shamrock!
Why did the dictionary feel smart? Because it had all the answers!
What did the paper say to the pencil? You’re write for me.
What do you call a teacher who never gives homework? Lazy!
What’s the best time to do homework? Not now, but later-tater!
Why did the ghost struggle with homework? It couldn’t find a boo-grapher!
What do you call a dog who can do multiplication? A mathemuttician!
What did the pencil sharpener say to the homework? You’re really pointless!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
Why did the scarecrow become a teacher? It loved giving out straw-berries.
Why did the clock get detention? It was tick-tocking too much!
Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the water.
What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
Why did the homework go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling well-organized!
Why did the banana go to school? To learn how to split!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
Why did the ruler join the gym? To measure up to expectations!
Why do homework assignments always feel like they’re multiplying?
What do you call a fish that wears a crown? Homeworké! (Home-orkay!).
Why did the ghost go to the library? To improve his boo-kwork!
What do you call a fish that’s good at math? A number-cruncher!
Why did the pencil sharpener go to school? It felt sharp today!
Why did the teacher go to space? To explore new “world problems”!
What do you call a snowman who doesn’t do his homework? Chillin’!
What’s the king of the pencil case? The ruler!

Homework Jokes One-Liners

One-liner homework jokes are the epitome of humor squeezed into a single, succinct phrase.

They’re the verbal counterpart of completing a challenging homework problem with a single, swift stroke of the pen – gratifying, simple, and effortlessly witty.

Creating a captivating one-liner requires a fusion of originality, precision, and a profound love for the art of puns.

The test is to wrap the setup and punchline into a concise form, delivering the maximum laughter with minimal words.

Here’s to these homework one-liners turning your study breaks into a laughter riot:

Homework: proof that teachers have a sense of humor, because they think we have time for it.
I never do my homework in pen, because it’s pointless to commit to something you’re not sure about.
Homework is proof that aliens exist, because no human being could design such a torture device.
My dog ate my homework… and then threw it up.
Homework is a conspiracy by teachers to make us forget what weekends are for.
The best thing about homework is that you always have an excuse for not going to the gym.
Homework is just a fancy way of saying “I’m ruining your weekend”
Homework is like a math problem, the more you try to solve it, the more confused you get.
My dog ate my homework, and then the vet charged me for an X-ray to confirm it.
Homework: the one thing that unites students in an eternal state of complaining.
My dog ate my homework… and then my cat ate my dog.
Homework is the reason why I have a love-hate relationship with paper and pencils.
If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d definitely win gold in homework avoidance.
My dog ate my homework, but luckily my teacher was a cat lover and understood the struggle.
Homework is the reason why I have a love-hate relationship with trees – they supply paper, but also give me homework.
Homework: the invention designed to make us question the meaning of life, one assignment at a time.
The only thing harder than doing homework is pretending to understand it in front of the teacher.
Homework is like a bad dream, it’s never-ending and it always leaves you feeling exhausted.
Homework: The reason why I know the names of all my classmates’ pets, but not their last names.
I wasn’t able to finish my homework because I accidentally started binge-watching a documentary series about procrastination.
I wish there was a homework vending machine, so I could just insert a dollar and get it done.
Homework is a great way to teach kids that life is full of disappointments and never-ending tasks.
My dog ate my homework, then proceeded to give me a lecture on proper nutrition.
I love homework so much that I do it in my sleep…literally, it’s a nightmare.
I gave my homework a timeout because it was misbehaving on my desk.
Homework: the only time my parents are proud of me for actually doing nothing.
My homework told me to find the missing X, but I’m more concerned about the missing motivation.
I never do homework on time, I always do it on the edge of a deadline… literally!
Homework is like a workout for your brain, except no one wants to do it.
I asked my teacher if I could turn in my homework by email. She said, “Sure, just don’t attach it to a virus.”
Homework is like a maze, and I’m just a lost mouse trying to find the way out.
My dog ate my homework… and then regurgitated a better version.
Homework: because procrastination is a skill that needs to be honed early on.
Homework is nature’s way of reminding us that life isn’t fair.
Homework: the process of staring at a blank document until your soul slowly evaporates.
The only thing harder than my homework is trying to explain to my parents why I didn’t do it.
Homework is like a never-ending story, except it’s not as exciting and there’s no dragons.
If homework doesn’t kill me, it’s probably because I’ve already died from boredom.
I procrastinate so much that I consider my homework as a long-term project.
Homework is like a black hole: once you start, you’re sucked in and can’t escape.
Homework: the reason why Google is my best friend.
I asked my teacher if I could do my homework on a napkin, she said only if I write in pencil.
Homework: because why have free time when you can have stress and tears instead?
If procrastination was a professional sport, I’d have a gold medal in homework avoidance.
Homework is like a math problem, you solve it and then it’s gone…until the test.
Homework is like a math problem – you’re always looking for an X to solve it.
My homework is like a sloth: it takes forever to get done and I’m always tempted to take a nap.
I procrastinate so much on my homework that it should be considered an Olympic sport.
Homework would be so much more fun if it was called “Brain Yoga.”
Homework is just a way for teachers to find out how many parents they can annoy in a single night.
Homework: the ultimate test of how well you can procrastinate and still get it done.
My math homework is like a horror movie – full of irrational numbers and endless nightmares.
I once tried to burn my homework, but it just turned into a flaming mess – talk about a fiery disaster.
Homework: the only time where a wrong answer can be considered right if everyone else got it wrong too.
If homework was a person, it would be that annoying relative who always overstays their welcome.
My homework is like a sloth – it takes forever to finish.
I’m convinced that my teacher invented homework just to watch us suffer.
I asked my teacher if I could write a love letter instead of doing my homework. She said no, but I still got an A for creativity.
Homework: The reason why I always have a pencil in my pocket, even though I never use it.
My dog ate my homework, and then my cat ate my dog… I really need a new excuse!
Homework is a great way to test my ability to stay awake while sitting at a desk.+.
I asked my teacher if I could do my homework in bed. She said, “Sure, just don’t lie down on it.”
My dog ate my homework, then he burped up a perfectly written essay.
The only thing more painful than doing homework is stepping on a LEGO barefoot.
I finally finished my homework, so now I can go back to procrastinating.
Homework is a great way to test your ability to Google answers without getting caught.
Homework is the reason why I have trust issues with my backpack.
Homework: the only thing that gets longer as you try to finish it.
My homework is like a math problem; I have no idea what’s going on but I still pretend to know what I’m doing.
If homework were a person, I would sue them for emotional distress.
I’m so good at doing homework that I could do it in my sleep. In fact, I often do.
Homework is just a way for teachers to give us more work to do at home, because they miss us too much during school hours.
I don’t always do my homework, but when I do, it’s five minutes before class starts.
Homework is just a fancy word for “procrastination material.” .
Homework: The only thing that makes procrastination seem productive.
My homework folder is a great place to store my dreams and aspirations… untouched and forgotten.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to reach the highest grades with their homework.
If you can’t convince your teacher that your dog ate your homework, at least convince them that it pooped on it.
I asked my teacher if I could do my homework in the future tense. She said no, the assignment is due now.
My friend asked me to help him with his homework, so I told him to ask Google.
Why did the pencil go to the psychiatrist? Because it couldn’t seem to get its homework done.
Homework: the reason why my dog suddenly becomes the most interesting creature in the universe.
Homework is like a math problem – I’m still trying to figure out the solution.
Homework is the reason why I have trust issues with ink pens and erasers.
Doing homework is a lot like trying to fold a fitted sheet – it’s impossible and makes me want to give up on life.
My dog ate my homework, and my teacher said it was the most interesting thing he’s ever read.
Homework is just a cruel reminder that life is full of endless responsibilities and never-ending to-do lists.
I told my teacher I needed more time to finish my homework because I was abducted by aliens. She said she wouldn’t accept any excuses, especially extraterrestrial ones.
Homework: the reason why I can’t remember what day it is anymore.
Sometimes I feel like my homework is plotting against me, just waiting for the perfect moment to strike with confusion and frustration.
Homework: the perfect excuse to procrastinate doing anything productive.
Why did the pencil bring a ladder to do its homework? It wanted to climb to the next level of writing.
Homework: The perfect opportunity to discover new ways to avoid doing actual work.
Homework is like a black hole; it sucks away all the fun and free time in its vicinity.
I failed my homework assignment on the history of cheese. I guess I wasn’t very gouda at it.
My homework is like a puzzle, except I don’t have all the pieces and the picture on the box is missing.
Homework: the only thing that gets heavier as you try to lift it off your desk.
Homework is like a puzzle with missing pieces and a deadline that’s about to crash down on you.
Homework is the real-life version of a never-ending story… but with less dragons and more tears.
Homework is like a black hole: the more you do, the more it sucks you in.
I used to hate math homework, but then I realized it’s all about division… between people who understand it and me.
Homework is like a black hole, it sucks all the fun out of life.
My homework is like a boomerang. No matter how hard I throw it away, it always comes back to haunt me.
Homework: because there’s nothing like the feeling of panic at 3 am.
If I had a penny for every time I procrastinated on homework, I’d have zero pennies because I never actually started.
Homework: the only time you’ll ever see kids willingly do math problems… in their dreams.
Homework is my arch-nemesis, but somehow we always end up spending way too much time together.
I have a love-hate relationship with homework. I love to hate it.
I tried to do my homework, but Netflix said, “Are you still watching?”
Homework is the ultimate test of endurance, sanity, and the strength of your Wi-Fi connection.
Homework is like a puzzle, except all the pieces are blank and you have no idea what the picture is supposed to be.
Homework: The art of convincing yourself that watching YouTube tutorials counts as studying.
I think my teacher secretly enjoys giving us homework because it’s payback for all the mischief we cause in class.
Homework is like a bad joke that keeps on repeating itself every night.
I wish my homework could be a stand-up comedy routine, at least then I’d get some laughs out of it.
The only thing I’ve learned from doing homework is how to do it faster than ever before.
Homework: because 7 hours of school just isn’t enough torture for kids.
My math teacher called me average… How mean!
Homework: because 7 hours of school wasn’t enough torture.
I tried to do my homework with a broken pencil, but it was pointless.
Doing homework is like going on a blind date with a math problem – you never know what you’re gonna get.
Homework is just a polite way of saying “I don’t trust you to remember anything I taught you.”
My homework is like a piñata, no matter how hard I hit it, answers never come out.
Homework is the reason why some kids have mastered the art of sleeping with their eyes open.
Homework is the only time I can confidently say I’m “procrastinating with purpose.” .
Homework is like a monster that follows you home from school and eats your free time.
The only thing I’ve mastered about homework is the art of making it look like I put effort into it.
Homework: the only thing that’s more boring than watching paint dry.
I love when my dog eats my homework because at least someone appreciates my hard work.
Homework is like a never-ending story, but without the adventure or happy ending.
When my parents ask me if I finished my homework, I always say, “I did it in my head.” They never believe me.
Homework is like a bad ex: it never leaves you alone and constantly reminds you of your mistakes.
Homework: the closest thing we have to a time machine, because it takes us back to the Stone Age.
The only thing harder than doing homework is pretending to do homework when the teacher calls on you.
I tried to make a joke about homework, but my teacher said it was a waste of time.
Homework is like a never-ending marathon, and I’m the world champion of taking breaks.
My teacher said I need to do my homework like my life depends on it. Apparently, she thinks I’m in danger of flunking life.
Homework is the reason why aliens haven’t visited us – they saw how stressed we are and decided it’s not worth it.
Homework should come with a warning label: Caution! May cause extreme levels of frustration and hair-pulling.
The only thing worse than doing homework is realizing you did it all wrong the night before it’s due.
My homework is like a black hole: no matter how much I do, it never seems to get any smaller.
Homework: the perfect excuse for procrastinating on everything else you need to do.
Homework is like a bad boyfriend/girlfriend… It takes up all your time and gives you nothing in return.
Homework is just a way for teachers to make sure we suffer even after school hours.
Homework: It’s like a never-ending nightmare, but with more paper.
Homework teaches you valuable life skills, like how to Google things really fast.
Doing homework is like going to the gym, I know I should do it more often, but I always find an excuse not to.
My dog ate my homework…and then pooped out a perfectly written essay.
Homework is a great way to practice pretending to understand something you have no idea about.
Homework: Where the answer to “Why?” is always “Because I said so.”
Doing homework is like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded; you never know if you’re making progress or just making a mess.
My homework is like a black hole – it sucks in all my free time and never lets go.
I asked Siri to do my homework for me, and she replied, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you with that. But I can tell you a joke!”
Homework is just a polite way of telling students that their misery should extend beyond school hours.
My homework is like a horror movie: it never ends and keeps haunting me every night!
Why do I have to do homework? Can’t I just pay someone to do it for me?
My homework brings all the procrastinators to the yard, and they’re like, “It’s due tomorrow, damn right it’s hard.”
Homework: where the question is easy, but the answer is a mystery.
Homework teaches us valuable life skills, like how to perfectly balance a pencil on the edge of our nose.
Homework: The only time I’m happy to have a “zero” in my life.
If homework was a person, I’d definitely file a restraining order against it.
Homework is like a bad movie sequel – it’s never as good as the original assignment.
Homework is a constant reminder that my brain has a great sense of humor… it loves to play tricks on me.
Homework is just a way for teachers to make sure we never have a social life.
Homework is just a way for teachers to remind us that they have control over our lives even outside of school.
Homework: the only time where 2 + 2 equals 5, just to confuse you.
Homework is just a way for teachers to test how creative we can get with our excuses for not doing it.
The key to doing homework is convincing yourself that watching cat videos counts as research.
Homework: the perfect way to make sure you have no social life outside of school.
Homework is proof that the universe has a twisted sense of humor and wants to watch us suffer.
Homework: the only thing that can make a five-minute task feel like a five-hour ordeal.
Homework: the ultimate test of how much procrastination a person can endure.
Why did the ghost fail his history homework? Because he couldn’t remember anything…he was history.
Doing homework is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the needle is knowledge and the haystack is my brain.
My dog ate my homework once, so I ate my dog’s food as revenge.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on a long-term homework break.
I’m not saying my dog ate my homework, but I’m also not saying he didn’t.
I tried to do my homework, but my dog ate my pen… and my notebook… and my laptop.
My homework is like a math problem – it keeps getting bigger and I have no idea how to solve it.
Homework is just a way for teachers to test how much stress a student can handle.
I asked my teacher if I could do my homework in bed, and she said as long as I dream about doing it, it’s fine.
The real reason why I do my homework is because I don’t want to end up like my parents.
My dog ate my homework… and then he asked for dessert.
Homework is just like a math problem. I solve it with violence!
Homework is the perfect excuse to have an existential crisis at least once a week.
Homework: The real reason why our parents had children.
My homework is so boring that I made a paper airplane out of it just to have some fun.
I always do my homework in pen because I like to live dangerously.
I always do my homework promptly… promptly forget about it, that is!
I tried to do my homework with a calculator, but it said, “Count me out!”
My dog ate my homework, but luckily my teacher didn’t believe me, so I had to eat my dog instead.
Homework is a great way to teach kids the importance of procrastination.
I always do my homework right before the deadline, because I like to live life on the edge of a failing grade.
I’m considering changing my major to “Homework Avoidance.”
Homework is like a math problem without a solution: it just keeps multiplying.
Homework is like a tornado – it starts small and innocent, but eventually destroys your entire weekend.
I always do my homework with a pen, because it’s permanent proof of my suffering.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve procrastinated on homework, I’d probably have enough money to pay someone else to do it for me.
Homework is a battle between my desire to procrastinate and my fear of failing.
Homework: because without it, how else would we procrastinate?
My relationship status with homework: it’s complicated…and by complicated, I mean I hate it with a burning passion.
Homework is like a math problem… I try to solve it, but it always adds more problems.
My idea of a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand while doing homework.
Homework is like a reward from the teacher for finishing class; a cruel, twisted reward.
Homework is like a puzzle; I’m just missing the pieces and the patience to solve it.
Homework is like a racehorse. The faster you do it, the better you finish.
Homework: the only time where counting down the minutes feels more like a marathon than a sprint.
Homework is just a way for teachers to punish us for the weekend.
Doing my homework is like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded – frustrating and pointless.
I don’t always do my homework, but when I do, my dog ate it.
Homework is like a vampire, it sucks the life out of you and leaves you feeling dead inside.
Homework is a great way to procrastinate doing other homework.
My homework is like a soap opera, it’s dramatic, confusing, and I can’t wait for it to end.
I always do my homework at the last minute because then I’ll be older, therefore wiser.
I don’t always do my homework, but when I do, I make sure the teacher can’t read it.
Homework is nature’s way of reminding you that there are worse things in life than Mondays.
I’m not saying my homework is easy, but I could probably do it in my sleep…literally.

Homework Dad Jokes

Homework dad jokes are the perfect mix of education and entertainment, the type that can make you chuckle and cringe simultaneously.

They’re the kind of jokes that are so cheesy, they’re brilliant.

These jokes are perfect for adding some fun to study time, school-related conversations, or just to lighten the mood during homework sessions.

Get ready for the moans of ‘oh dad’!

Here are some homework dad jokes that are bound to amuse:

Why did the teacher always go to detention? Because she couldn’t keep her students in check, they were always trying to escape from doing homework!
Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because he heard high school was a stepping-stone to success!
Why did the scarecrow always finish his homework on time? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the scarecrow get an A+ on his homework? Because he really knew how to use his brain!
Why was the math book always crying? Because its problems kept multiplying!
Why did the student throw his homework into the blender? Because he wanted to make a smoothie out of it.
Why did the ghost refuse to do his homework? He couldn’t “boo-lieve” how much he had to do!
Why was the math book sad after its vacation? Because it had too many story problems!
Why did the pencil go to school early? Because it wanted to be sharp when doing homework!
Why did the history book go to the therapist? Because it had too many unresolved issues with homework!
Why did the ghost always finish its homework on time? Because it didn’t want to be haunted by incomplete assignments.
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
Why did the pencil do well on its homework? Because it had a sharp mind.
Why did the ghost get a high score on its homework? Because it boo-sted its knowledge.
Why did the pencil go to the art exhibit? To draw inspiration!
Why did the teacher always take homework to the beach? Because she wanted to grade it on a “sand”-scale.
Why was the math book sad after the test? Because it felt like it was being worked too hard!
Why did the computer go to school? To improve its memory for doing homework.
What’s the easiest way to make your homework disappear? Just tear it out of your notebook and throw it away.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and realized it needed to ketchup on its homework!
Why did the math teacher go on a diet? Because they wanted to lose some “weights” before grading homework.
Why did the history book get in a fight with the science book? Because it disagreed with its thesis.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because he heard the classroom had high expectations.
Why did the student go to the comedy club after doing homework? Because they needed a few good laughs to balance out the hard work!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they heard high grades are earned by climbing the ranks!
Why did the pencil go to the therapist? Because it was feeling a little “drawn” out.
Why did the paper go to school? Because it wanted to be a sheet of notebook paper.
What did the teacher say to the student who didn’t do their homework? “You’re really drawing a blank!”
Why did the music teacher assign homework on a Friday? Because they wanted the students to have a note-worthy weekend!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during homework? Because she wanted to keep an eye on her pupils.
Why did the teacher assign homework over the summer break? Because she wanted to make sure the students didn’t have too much fun!
Why did the teacher bring a ladder to class? Because she wanted to help the students reach new heights in their homework!
Why did the scarecrow always bring his homework to the field? Because he wanted to do some “crows”-work.
Why did the paper go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit sheet-ish after all the homework.
Why was the math book sad after the test? Because it was full of problems that couldn’t be solved!
Why did the skeleton fail his homework assignment? He didn’t have the guts to complete it!
Why did the pencil go to the therapist? It had too many “pointless” problems to solve.
Why did the pencil go to the therapist? Because it had too many eraser marks from making mistakes on homework.
What did one pen say to the other pen during their homework? “I feel so ink-omplete without you!”
Why do you always do your math homework in pen? Because you can’t erase a good equation!
What did the algebra book say to the geometry book? “Stop being so obtuse and help me with my homework!”
Why was the math book sad after the weekend? It had too much homework to do!
Why did the pencil go to the party instead of doing its homework? Because it wanted to be the “write” kind of pencil!
Why did the pencil get bad grades? Because it didn’t have a point.
Why did the pencil go to the doctor? Because it had trouble with its homework!
Why do birds always finish their homework quickly? Because they always work tweet!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg” instead of “good luck” when they have homework? Because every play has a cast!
Why did the pencil go to the party by itself? Because it didn’t want to share the spotlight with its eraser.
Why did the ghost not do their homework? Because they couldn’t find their boo-ks!
Why did the pencil always get into trouble? Because it was always drawing attention.
Why did the computer go to school? Because it wanted to become a smart cookie in doing homework!
Why was the math book sad after finishing all its homework? Because it had no problems left.
Why couldn’t the bicycle find its homework? Because it was two-tired.
Why did the teacher always carry a ladder to class? To help with high-level homework!
What did the teacher say when the book fell off the desk? “That’s my fault, I didn’t teach it well enough.”
Why did the pen do well in school? Because it knew how to draw conclusions!
Why do teachers always go on diets? They want to live on lean grading!
Why did the pencil do well on its homework? Because it was number two in the class!
Why did the teacher bring a ladder to school? To help with high-level problem solving!
Why did the computer go to school? To become “smart” in helping with homework!
Why did the scarecrow get an A+ on his homework? Because he turned in a real straw-mazing essay.
Why did the pencil go to art school? Because it wanted to draw more attention away from doing homework!
Why did the student’s report card look like a big rock? Because all their grades were below “C” level!
Why did the geography book go on vacation? To find someplace new to cover!
Why did the math book visit the therapist? Because it had too many problems that it couldn’t solve on its own!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes!
Why did the computer go to school? To improve its “byte” skills and finish its homework faster.
Why did the scarecrow refuse to do its homework? It said it was too corn-fusing!
Why was the math book sad after the test? Because it felt so divided!
Why did the notebook always get good grades? Because it always paid attention in class.
Why do birds never do their homework? Because they prefer to wing it.
What did the math book say to the history book? “I don’t understand your timeline, can you help me with my problems?”
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they heard they needed to “climb” the ladder of success in completing homework!
Why did the student eat their math homework? Because they wanted a “taste” of success!
Why did the pencil go to school? To get “sharp” in solving homework!
Why did the homework go to the party? Because it wanted to get a little calculation!

Homework Jokes for Kids

Homework jokes for kids are the perfect antidote to the sometimes dreary task of studying and assignments.

With a sprinkle of humor and a dash of wit, these jokes can lighten the mood and make the homework routine a bit more enjoyable.

These jokes aid in boosting children’s creativity and language skills as they learn to laugh and play with words, all while relating to their daily life.

Moreover, homework jokes for kids can also promote a positive attitude towards learning and education, transforming their perception of homework from a chore into a fun-filled activity.

So, are you ready to bring the classroom laughter home?

Here are some homework jokes that will have your kids chuckling over their textbooks:

Why did the paper clip go to school? Because it wanted to be an extra on the homework page!
What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi!
Why did the pencil bring a blanket to bed? Because it wanted to draw a line in the sheets!
What did the calculator say to the student on the math homework? “You can count on me!”
Why did the teacher go to the beach instead of grading homework? Because she needed a little shore work!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite subject? Algebra, because it’s full of “arrrrrrr”s!
Why did the scarecrow get in trouble with his teacher? Because he didn’t do his hay-ssignments!
Why did the computer go to school? It wanted to improve its byte-sized homework!
Why did the teacher give the student a ladder? Because they said their homework was on a high shelf!
Why did the dog eat the boy’s homework? Because it was a “ruff” assignment!
Why did the music teacher assign homework to their students? Because they wanted them to hit the right notes!
Why did the pencil bring a band-aid to school? Because it had a sharp point!
Why did the pen get detention? Because it couldn’t stop doodling in class!
Why did the ghost always finish its homework? Because it was afraid of getting booed by the teacher!
What’s the best way to get your homework done quickly? Just do it as soon as you get it, then you’ll have plenty of time to play!
What kind of sweets do students eat while doing their homework? Study bars!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he heard the teachers were always looking for solutions.
Why did the teacher write on the window? Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear.
What do you call a dinosaur that never finishes its homework? A dino-sore!
Why did the pencil sharpen his homework? Because it needed to be on point!
What did one math book say to the other? I’ve got problems too, you know!
Why did the book go to therapy? Because it had a lot of emotional chapters!
Why did the scarecrow refuse to do his homework? Because he already had plenty of straw to do!
Why did the teacher send his computer to the doctor? Because it had a virus—except it was the “no work” kind!
Why did the scarecrow get an A+ on his homework? Because he always stayed ahead of the stalk.
Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It wanted to see hands go up.
Why did the teacher put a ladder in the classroom? To help the students reach for the stars!
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire? Lots of blood tests!
Why did the pencil go to the amusement park? To get a little “Pencil-vania”!
Why do teachers give homework? Because it’s a piece of cake!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to his homework? Because he wanted to climb to the top grades!
Why didn’t the sun do its homework? Because it already had a million degrees.
Why did the student get a gold star for their homework? Because they colored outside the lines!
Why did the book go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling well, it had a bad case of the story-ache!
Why did the paper clip go to school? To become a stapler!
What do you call a snowman doing homework? Chilly Nelson!
Why did the ruler go to school? To measure up to the challenge of homework!
Why did the pencil sharpener refuse to do any more work? It felt it was pointless!
Why did the ghost become a teacher? To help kids with their boo-k reports!
Why did the ruler take a nap? It needed to get its rest for the homework ahead!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Homework can be a real salad-dresser sometimes!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Why did the ghost do well in school? Because he always did his boo-kwork!
What kind of homework do witches do? Spell-ing!
Why did the teacher jump off the building? Because she wanted to test the gravitational force!
What type of homework do birds get? Tweets!
Why do fish never do homework? Because they’re always swimming in schools!
What did the math book say to the pencil? I have too many problems.
Why did the crayon go to school? Because it wanted to be the “color” of the class.
Why did the pencil sharpener go to the homework party? Because it loves a good “point” in its life!
What kind of flower loves doing homework? A tulip!
Why did the ghost go to school? To get his boo-k reports.
What did one pencil say to the other pencil at homework time? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
What do you call a snowman with a great vocabulary? An articulate snowflake!
Why did the pencil bring a eraser to the party? In case it made a mistake on the dance floor!
Why did the ghost do well on his homework? Because he could boo-tifully solve every problem!
Why did the pencil do well on its math test? It had a lot of number two’s!
Why did the book go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t feeling well, it had too many story problems!
Why did the ghost get in trouble at school? Because it refused to do any “boo-logy” homework!
Why did the teacher always carry a ladder to the classroom? Because she wanted to reach the highest grades!
What did the teacher say to the computer during homework time? “You’re always calculating!”
Why did the scarecrow bring a pencil to the field? To do his crops!
Why do birds do well in school? Because they always tweet the right answers!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they heard they were going to have a high-level homework assignment!
What kind of meals do math teachers eat? Square meals!
Why did the pencil bring a tiny umbrella to school? In case it had to do its homework in a rainforest!
Why did the computer eat its homework? Because it wanted a byte!

Homework Jokes for Adults

Who says homework is just for kids and can’t be a source of laughter for adults?

Our compilation of homework jokes for adults is designed to evoke a sense of nostalgia while adding a sophisticated twist to humor.

Just like those unforgettable late-night study sessions, these jokes blend elements of wit, intellect, and a sprinkle of audacity to create a laughter-filled experience.

These jokes are perfect for casual gatherings, reunions, or simply to add a dash of humor to an intense discussion among your peers.

Here are some homework jokes that are perfectly tailored for adults:

Why did the student eat their homework after studying frogs? Because it was a biology assignment and they thought it was ribbiting!
Why did the ghost never do his homework? Because he always vanished when it was time to study!
Why did the student bring a pillow to school? Because they heard there would be a lot of sleepless nights doing homework!
Why did the ghost always get good grades on its homework? Because it had a lot of spirit!
What do you call a monkey who won’t do his homework? A baboonk!
Why do trees hate doing homework? Because they just can’t concentrate!
Why did the teacher assign homework on fishing? Because she wanted to catch some hardworking students!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses while grading homework? Because the answers were so bright, they blinded her!
Why did the pencil bring a ladder to school? To help with its homework, of course!
Why was the math homework so cold? It was full of minus signs!
Why did the pencil have a hard time doing its homework? It kept breaking down under pressure!
Why did the student’s dog eat their homework? It wanted to prove that even the dog found it tasteless!
Why did the math book look so tired? Because it had too many sleepless nights trying to solve problems!
Why did the pencil go to therapy? It was suffering from a case of too much erasing in homework!
Why did the ghost go to school? To improve his spelling skills… Boo-k review!
Why did the teacher always bring a ladder to class? To help students reach for the highest grades on their homework!
Why did the student bring a shovel to school? Because they heard there would be a lot of digging for answers in their homework!
Why did the book go to the therapist? It had too many loose pages and couldn’t stay together!
Why did the pencil go to school early? It wanted to get a good “point” ahead on its homework!
Why did the student eat his homework after writing it? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why did the teacher eat his homework? Because he wanted to have a well-balanced meal!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? To reach the high marks in his homework!
Why was the math book sad after the homework was completed? It had too many problems to solve its own issues!
Why did the pencil go to therapy? Because it had too many unresolved problems from doing homework!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during class? Because her students were so bright, it was like they were doing homework with a spotlight on!
Why did the ghost go to the school library? To find some boo-ks for his haunted homework!
Why did the teacher give the student a zero on their homework? Because it was incomplete and full of plot holes!
Why did the teacher assign homework on camping? So the students could pitch their tents and practice pitching their ideas!
Why did the computer go to art class instead of doing its homework? It wanted to become a master of graphic design!
Why did the student’s computer get detention? Because it couldn’t stop downloading “class”ified information!
Why did the homework paper go to the doctor? It had a case of writer’s cramp!
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a homework assignment? A blood-thirsty student!
Why did the pencil bring a piece of paper to its homework? Because it needed to draw some conclusions!
Why did the tomato turn red while doing its homework? Because it saw the salad dressing and got embarrassed!
Why do you never see elephants doing their homework? Because they are always on a “trunk” call!
Why do math teachers love homework? Because it multiplies their joy!
Why did the math textbook break up with the history textbook? Because it felt there was no chemistry between them!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because they heard high school was a step up from middle school!
Why did the science experiment skip doing homework? It thought it could conduct its own research instead!
Why did the student bring a pillow to do homework? Because they wanted to rest their brains and dream of correct answers!
Why did the geometry book go to therapy? It had too many issues with angles and problems!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? He heard high school was hard and wanted to climb over it!
Why did the teacher always carry a ladder? Because her students’ homework was always over her head!
Why did the ghost refuse to do its homework? Because it didn’t have a ghost of a chance to pass!
Why did the tomato turn red during homework time? Because it saw the math problems and couldn’t ketchup!
Why did the pencil bring a lawyer to the test? It wanted to do its “write to remain silent”!
What did the pencil sharpener say to the student struggling with homework? “Don’t worry, I’ll help you sharpen your focus!”
Why did the student’s dog eat his homework? Because it was a doggone good excuse!
Why did the skeleton refuse to do any homework? Because he had no body to write with!
Why did the history book get bad grades? Because it was always revising its answers!
Why did the scarecrow become a teacher? Because it wanted to help students with their homeWORK!
Why did the student fail their art homework? Because they couldn’t draw any conclusions!
Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because they heard their grades were going up!
Why did the skeleton always finish their homework early? They had no body to distract them!
Why did the paper clip get sent to detention? Because it was too attached to its homework!
Why did the pencil skip school? It couldn’t handle the pressure of homework!
Why did the student bring a pillow to class? To dream about finishing their homework faster!
Why did the history textbook get sent to the principal’s office? It couldn’t stop talking about the past!
Why did the computer get detention? Because it wasn’t doing its homework properly and kept on crashing!
Why did the student take his homework to the beach? Because his teacher told him to do a “sandwich” assignment!
Why did the pencil become a comedian? Because it knew how to draw a crowd!
Why did the computer break up with the student? Because it found someone else to byte!
Why did the paper clip get detention? Because it was always holding things together!
What did the math book say to the history book? “I’ve got all the solutions, and you’re just a bunch of dates!”
Why did the computer go to school? To get its byte-size homework done!
Why did the teacher jump into the swimming pool with all their homework? Because they wanted to do a dive into a sea of knowledge!
Why did the grammar book bring a ladder to school? Because it wanted to reach the highest comma!
Why did the pencil skip school? It wanted to become homework’s worst nightmare and erase all the answers!
Why did the student eat their homework? Because they wanted to digest the knowledge!
What did the pencil say to the paper during their homework session? “I dot my i’s on you!”
Why did the homework assignment jump off the table? It wanted to get to the point!
Why did the history student bring a ladder to the library? Because they wanted to get high marks in their research!
Why did the scarecrow refuse to do his homework? Because he heard it was just a bunch of corn!
Why did the scarecrow fail its homework? It didn’t have enough brain-straw!
Why did the computer get detention? Because it couldn’t stop copying and pasting answers from the internet for its homework!
Why did the student forget to do their homework on the computer? They were too busy scrolling through memes!
Why did the ghost never complete its homework? Because it always vanished when it got close to finishing!
Why did the tomato turn red during homework time? It saw the salad dressing and was feeling embarrassed!
Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because he heard high school was a stepping stone for higher education and wanted to get ahead in his homework!
Why did the teacher jump into the swimming pool with her homework? She wanted to dive into her studies!
Why did the student bring a pillow to class? To take a nap during homework time, of course!
Why did the teacher always collect homework at the beginning of class? Because it’s easier to grade when the tears are still fresh!
What did the math textbook say to the history textbook? I’ve got all the answers, you’re just full of old stories!
What did the homework say to the student? I’ll never get done if you keep texting your friends!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during homework assignments? Because her students were shining with bright ideas!
Why did the computer go to school? Because it wanted to become a nerd and do its homework without any errors!
Why did the teacher assign homework on the weekends? Because they wanted to make sure no one was having too much fun!
Why did the history assignment feel lonely? Because it was always stuck in the past!
Why did the grammar worksheet get detention? It couldn’t properly punctuate its sentences!
Why did the grammar teacher assign homework about gardening? To make sure students understand the importance of proper root-ine!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems to solve and couldn’t find a solution!
Why did the ghost never do his homework? Because he could never find a pen that worked in the afterlife!
Why did the student use invisible ink for their homework? So they could claim they did it, but no one could see the evidence!
Why did the student eat his textbook? Because his teacher told him it had all the answers inside!
Why did the scarecrow always get good grades in school? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the homework? It was blushing because it couldn’t ketchup!
Why do homework assignments never go to parties? Because they always end up staying home and being grounded!
What’s a vampire’s least favorite subject? Math, because it’s too draining and sucks the life out of you, just like homework!
Why do math teachers never marry? Because they always try to find X instead of a spouse!
What did the teacher say to the procrastinating student? “You’re really pushing my deadline!”
Why did the history book get bad grades? It was always bringing up the past!
Why did the student bring a ladder to the exam? Because they heard it was a tough one and they wanted to climb over the questions!
Why did the ghost refuse to do any homework? He didn’t want to get caught haunting the school!
Why did the homework hide in the oven? It wanted to be a well-done assignment!
Why did the teacher always carry a bag of crushed ice to class? Because she wanted to break the ice during homework discussions!
Why did the computer go to school? To become an A-lgorithm student!
Why did the pencil get detention? Because it couldn’t stop drawing a blank!
Why was the history book always falling asleep during homework time? Because it was full of dull chapters!
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open while doing homework and got a draft!
Why did the pencil do poorly on its homework? It didn’t have a point!
Why did the student bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard they needed to reach new heights of knowledge for their homework!
Why did the teacher always collect homework at the end of the day? Because they needed a good laugh before going home!
Why did the ghost go to the library? Because it wanted to borrow some boo-ks!
Why do skeletons always finish their homework quickly? They have nobody to distract them!
Why did the student’s paper get sent to the principal’s office? Because it couldn’t “draw” any conclusions!
Why did the history book go to school? To get its homework done before it becomes ancient history!
Why did the homework document go to therapy? Because it had a lot of unresolved issues with its formatting!
Why did the student throw their clock out the window? Because they wanted to see time fly when doing homework!

Homework Joke Generator

Wrestling with the task of coming up with homework jokes can feel like a real assignment in itself.

(Clever, right?)

That’s where our FREE Homework Joke Generator can take the load off.

Engineered to combine witty puns, school-yard humor, and clever quips, it crafts jokes that are sure to ace every humor test.

Don’t let your joke creativity flunk.

Use our joke generator to create laughs that are as fresh and engaging as a new homework assignment.

FAQs About Homework Jokes

Why are homework jokes so popular.

Homework jokes are popular because they are relatable to students of all ages.

They provide a comedic relief from the usual stress and seriousness associated with homework.

Everyone has experienced the trials and tribulations of homework at some point, which makes these jokes universally appealing.

Can homework jokes help in social situations?

Definitely!

Homework jokes can help break the ice in study groups, or lighten the mood during a tense study session.

They can also be a fun way to connect with fellow students and teachers.

How can I come up with my own homework jokes?

Think about the common problems and situations that arise during homework—procrastination, difficult problems, or the classic dog ate my homework scenario.
Consider the vocabulary associated with homework (e.g., assignments, grades, due dates). Look for puns or wordplay involving these words.
Visualize the setting or context of your joke. Is it about a chaotic study session? Or a homework assignment gone wrong? Tailor your humor to this situation.
Twist a common saying or phrase to fit into the context of homework.
Play with puns and wordplay. Homework jokes are perfect for some clever linguistic humor!

Are there any tips for remembering homework jokes?

You can link homework jokes to your personal experiences or specific homework scenarios.

This association will help in remembering the jokes and can also make them more enjoyable when shared with others.

How can I make my homework jokes better?

The funniest homework jokes often have an element of surprise and relatability.

Play with words, find common ground with your audience, and most importantly, practice.

The more you share your jokes, the more you’ll understand what gets the best laugh.

How does the Homework Joke Generator work?

Our Homework Joke Generator provides quick and easy laughs for those long study nights.

Just enter keywords related to your homework-themed humor or situation, and click Generate Jokes.

You’ll soon have a collection of hilarious homework jokes ready to lighten the mood.

Is the Homework Joke Generator free?

Yes, our Homework Joke Generator is totally free to use!

Generate as many jokes as you need to keep the homework blues at bay.

Share the laughter on your social feeds and keep your study sessions entertaining and fun.

Homework jokes are a splendid way to add a touch of levity to everyday conversations, making life a bit more enjoyable with each chuckle.

From the swift and clever to the lengthy and giggle-inducing, there’s a homework joke for every occasion.

So next time you’re diving into a homework assignment, remember, there’s humor to be found in every problem, equation, and essay.

Keep spreading the laughs, and let the good times tally and roll.

Because after all, a day without laughter is like a day without homework —unthinkable and, frankly, a bit less educational.

Happy joking, everyone!

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Homework Jokes

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?

A. Calculus homework.

Twin Towers

like this if you don't like school

Teacher: where's you homework? Student: at home... Teacher: what's it doing there? Student: having a better time than me.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."

Why did the students eat their homework 📚?

Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake. 🎂😂

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

Teacher:"What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?" Student:"Mistakes in the dark make children"

Teacher: your bag is heavy what's in there!

Weird Kid: Magazines

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper But instead I showed them my wrists

Little Johnny

Little johnnys teacher asks him "Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?" little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.

like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school

Click the 👍🏻 If you hate school.

me. mom would you get mad at me for something i didn't do. mom. no. me ok good i didn't do my homework

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book

Quiet kid: "I'm home!" Parents: "What did you learn at school today?" Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"

Whats the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H" but we all know what one we would like to do.

School Shooter

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free

Dad: School is cancelled, I think your teacher died or something Me: Wow they found the body already? Dad: :/

Pickup Lines

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework slam you on my desk and do you all night.

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About WTF Notebooks:

55 inappropriate one-liner jokes that'll have you in tears

29 September 2023 by WTF Notebooks

Are you ready to laugh until you cry? Well, hold onto your seats, folks, because we've got 55 one-liner jokes that are so inappropriate, they'll make your grandma blush! Here at WTF Notebooks , we don't shy away from a little bit of off-color humor, so we've gathered some of the funniest and most twisted one-liners out there. Whether you're a fan of puns, metaphors, sarcasm, or just straight-up dirty jokes , we've got something for everyone. A word of caution: these jokes are not for the faint of heart, so if you're easily offended, you might want to sit this one out. But for those brave souls who are ready to take the plunge, get ready to have your funny bone tickled and your sense of decency obliterated.

So, without further ado, let's dive into the world of inappropriate one-liners!

My wife says she wants another baby. I'm so glad because I also really don't like the first one.

A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I just read that in New York, someone gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was five.

I have many jokes about unemployed people – sadly none of them work.

Don't ever think you're completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. But they have 206 bones.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

What do you call cheap circumcision? A rip-off.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away – if you throw it hard enough.

The cemetery is so crowded. People are just dying to get in.

I childproofed my house today. Somehow, they still got in.

My favorite Disney movie is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a hero with a twisted back story.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are you have small boobs.

My daughter asked me how stars die. "Usually an overdose," I told her.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

If you think I would joke about Alzheimer’s, forget it.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Lovely saying. Terrible way to find out you’re adopted.

My grief counsellor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

Shout out to my grandma since that’s the only way she can hear you.

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

I'd like to have kids one day . I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing chess.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

My wife says making love is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off? He's all right now!

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2. He never talks about it.

Ever since the pandemic started, my husband just stands there sadly looking through the window. I should probably go let him inside.

I went to the restaurant last night, and I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken. "Nothing special," he explained. "We just tell them they're going to die."

I wondered why there isn't a pregnant Barbie doll... but then I realised: Ken came in another box.

I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word.

My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

Life is about balance. 50% namaste. 50% fuck off.

Well, funny people, we hope you enjoyed our collection of 55 inappropriate one-liners that had you laughing until your sides hurt. Before we wrap things up, we want to remind you that if you enjoyed these inappropriate one-liner jokes, you're going to love our range of WTF Notebooks! We've got hundreds of hilarious notebook titles that are just as questionable as the humor in these jokes, so you can keep the laughs going. From quirky and offbeat to downright raunchy and NSFW titles , we guarantee there’s one for everyone.

Ordinary is overrated

WTF Notebooks are here to make you laugh out loud. Custom-printed to order, they are the perfect gift for friends, family, co-workers or yourself. Say goodbye to boring notebooks and hello to WTF Notebooks!

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Little Johnny Jokes

Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? Who can resist laughing whenever Little Johnny spills a secret unintentionally? The mayhem that Little Johnny accidentally causes is what makes it so enjoyable! Here's a list of Little Johnny Jokes to show you what we mean!

😃 What is a Little Johnny Joke
😏 Little Johnny Jokes Dirty
😂 Funny Little Johnny Jokes
🤣 Best Little Johnny Jokes
😉 Little Johnny Jokes Clean

What is a Little Johnny Joke?

Just who is Little Johnny? And why are there jokes named after him? A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times!

Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing!

Little Johnny Jokes Dirty

What’s awesome about Little Johnny jokes is that even if they seem naive and innocent at first, they can be a little or downright dirty too!

Warning! Here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle!

1. Little Johnny asks his mum where babies come from. His mum says from the storks. Little Johnny asks back, “Then who fucks the storks?”

Woah there, Little Johnny!

2. Little Johnny walks in on his parents doing it and his father plays it off by pretending to look under the bed. Little Johnny curiously asks his dad what he’s doing. His dad says he’s only looking for a mouse that went under the bed. Little Johnny is visibly confused and asks his dad “What are you gonna do with it? Screw it?”

I hope his dad finds that mouse!

3. Little Johnny walked in on his mum showering and asked, “What’s that between your legs?” His mum says, “That’s my keyhole.” Later in the day Little Johnny walks in on his dad showering and asks the same question. His dad says, “That’s my key.” The next day Little Johnny tells his dad, “Daddy, the neighbor has his key inside mummy’s keyhole.”

And that’s how Little Johnny’s parents ended up divorced!

4. At the dinner table, Little Johnny’s father asks him to pray. Little Johnny prays, “Dear God, please send clothes to the naked ladies in Daddy’s computer.”

They just need clothes!

5. The teacher asks the class what they can do to stop water pollution. Little Johnny answers proudly, “Stop taking baths!”

That’s dirty, Little Johnny!

6. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Santa responds back, “Okay. Send me your mother.”

Santa’s gonna have a Merry Christmas too.

7. Little Johnny’s dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Little Johnny sadly says, “I know Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny don’t exist. If you’re gonna tell me that adults don’t really have sex then I don’t know what to believe in anymore”

Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis.

8. Little Johnny’s mom brings him to the doctor for the lacerations on his penis. The doctor asks him, “where did you get this from?” Little Johnny says, “I don’t know but Little Susie’s braces are really sharp.”

That’s the no-no zone, Johnny.

9. Little Johnny asks his grandma if he still has sex with grandma. His grandpa replies yes but only oral. Little Johnny asks his grandpa what oral is and his grandpa answers, “I say fuck you, and she says fuck you back.”

That’s one way to put it.

10. Little Susie gets her monthly period for the first time ever. Confused, she decides to tell Little Johnny by dropping her panties and showing him. Little Johnny seeing the blood says, “Susie, it looks like someone ripped your balls off.”

I hope Susie doesn’t start thinking she’s missing parts!

👉 Head over to this list of conversation starters!

Funny Little Johnny Jokes

If laughter is the best medicine, you’ll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! Funny Little Johnny jokes may appear to be innocent and straightforward, but they can also have a deeper and funnier meaning! People will crack up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny jokes!

Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are!

1. The teacher asks the class why God created man first. Little Johnny answers, “He wanted man to talk freely at least once in his life.”

Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age.

2. Little Johnny asks his grandpa to croak like a frog. His grandpa is confused and asks why. Little Johnny answers him, “mum said we will be loaded when you croak.”

Now we know who’s gonna be left out of that will.

3. The teacher asks the class to give an example of the word Coincidence. Little Johnny answers, “it was a coincidence that my Mom and Dad were married on the same day.”

A for effort, Little Johnny!

4. During Sunday school the teacher asks the class if they believe in the devil. Little Johnny answers, “just like Santa Claus, I know it’s really my dad.”

His dad must be a really busy man!

5. The teacher asks the class, “how far have you gone with your homework?” Little Johnny answers, “About 8 kilometers, Miss. I went home with it and came back with it today.”

Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances.

6. Why did Little Johnny ask his dad if he’s ever been to Egypt? Because Little Johnny wanted to know where his dad met his mummy.

How I Met Your Mummy.

👉 Suggested read: 45+ 'What Do You Call?' Jokes To Make Your Friends Laugh

7. A teacher asked Little Johnny’s class a question. What do you call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Little Johnny answered with, “A teacher.”

Little Johnny is an absolute savage.

8. What did Little Johnny say when his teacher noticed he was wearing one red and one green sock? He has another pair of the exact same socks at home!

Little Johnny is cool.

9. Little Johnny’s teacher noticed that his essay about his pet dog is exactly the same as his sister’s. Little Johnny tells his teacher, “Of course it is. It’s the same dog!”

Can’t argue with him there. They have the same dog!

10. During class, the teacher asks to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Do farts have lumps in them?” The teacher says no, and Little Johnny replies with, “Then I’ve definitely shat myself.”

Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny.

👉 In need of more jokes? Check out our 80+ Best Dad Jokes!

Best Little Johnny Jokes

Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? We have collected the best Little Johnny jokes that we can find. Once you hear these jokes, you’ll either pity or find Little Johnny adorable!

One thing is for sure, you’re in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes!

1. What did Little Johnny say to his teacher when he was scolded for being late to class? It’s never too late to learn!

Never say never.

2. During Math class Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “if 10 people gave you 10 dollars each, what would you have?” Little Johnny replies, “I would have a new bike.”

Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman.

3. What did Little Johnny say to his dad when the Priest’s sermon went on for a really long time? He said, “Dad if we give him money will he let us go?”

Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like they’re being trapped.

4. The teacher asks the class how they spell the word Elephant. Little Johnny answers, “E-L-E-F-A-N-T”. The teacher tells Johnny he is wrong. Little Johnny replies with, “I may be wrong but that’s how I spell it”

Witty, Little Johnny!

5. Little Johnny tries to buy a car toy with fake money. The cashier says they can’t take it because it’s not real. Little Johnny says, “Well the car isn’t real either.”

No truer words have been said, Little Man!

6. Little Johnny says, “I’m not going to class anymore!” His mum asks why. Little Johnny replies, “the teacher doesn’t know anything. All she does is ask questions!”

He must really feel frustrated.

7. The teacher asks the class what an island is. Little Johnny answers, “it’s covered by water on all sides except 1!” His teacher asks, “one side?” Little Johnny replies, “Yes, the top side!”

You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds.

8. Little Johnny says he can’t go to class because he doesn’t feel well. His mum asks, “where do you not feel well, Johnny?” Little Johnny answers, “I don’t feel well at school.”

Don’t we all, Little Johnny. Don’t we all.

9. The teacher asks the class, “What is something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago?” Little Johnny raises his hand and proudly says, “Me!”

Yes, you, Little Johnny!

10. The teacher asks the class why it is important to be quiet in Church. Little Johnny responds, “we have to be quiet for the people sleeping.”

Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate.

👉 Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles!

Little Johnny Jokes Clean

Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends!

Check out these clean Little Johnny jokes!

1. What did Little Johnny’s mum do when he went through the playground zapping kids with static electricity? She grounded him.

Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids.

2. Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to stand if they feel stupid. Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Does it get lonely standing alone?”

Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns.

3. Little Johnny proudly tells his mum he got 100 in school today. His mum asks in which class he got 100 on. Little Johnny says, “I got 50 in spelling and 50 in science.”

At least Little Johnny knows how to add.

4. The teacher asks, “where was The Declaration of Independence signed?” Little Johnny answers, “At the bottom!”

He’s right though, isn’t he?

5. During Math class, Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “If I have 7 apples on one hand and 6 apples on the other hand, what do I have?” Little Johnny replies, “Very big hands!”

My thoughts exactly.

6. Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “If I give you 6 rabbits today, and give you 9 more rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits do you have?” Little Johnny answers, “16 rabbits, Miss!” The teacher tells him he’s wrong. Little Johnny answers back, “No, I would have 16. I already have 1 rabbit at home.”

Little Johnny knows his math.

7. The teacher received a sick note written by Little Johnny’s father. The teacher asks, “Little Johnny, why does this sick note look like you wrote it?” Little Johnny replies, “He borrowed my pen!”

My handwriting changes depending on whose pen I’m holding.

8. The teacher asks the class to draw a cow eating grass. Little Johnny submits his work and it’s only one cow. The teacher asks, “what about the grass?” Little Johnny replies, “The cow already ate all the grass!”

Work smarter, not harder, Little Johnny!

9. The teacher asks the class what they will be after they finish school. Little Johnny answers, “an old man.”

School must feel like forever for kids.

10. The teacher tells Little Johnny to stand at the end of the line. Little Johnny leaves, but after a while goes back to the teacher and complains. “Someone was already there!”

They took your spot, Johnny!

👉 Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from!

Conversation Starters

Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere!

Vegetable Puns

Chicken Puns

Knock Knock Jokes

Christmas Jokes

Wed 7 Aug 2024

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100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp

“sex is like playing bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand".

What’s better than a hilarious joke ? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.

From naughty gags about sex, to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humour, look no further.

So strap yourself in, and try not to tell these filthy gags at any formal engagements…

(It goes without saying that the following contains some strong language, and very adult humour)

Some fruity lines from rude comedians:

“I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67. And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.” – Victoria Wood “Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you think it was?’” – Jimmy Carr “You never know where to look when eating a banana.” – Peter Kay “If they’re making cakes for divorces, why not ‘Happy Menopause!’ ‘Mmm, it’s a bit dry. Why is there no jam? Have you run out of eggs?’ – Russell Howard “The only thing I can offer to put ladies at ease is that I am of no sexual threat whatsoever. I’m 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. Sex with me these days is akin to thumbing marshmallows into the anus of a cat.” – Greg Davies “Looking at my penis, I find it endlessly fascinating. It’s 46 years old, my penis. 46! It’s older than the Sydney Opera House, my penis!” – Rhod Gilbert “I accidentally filled the Escort with diesel. She died.” – Gary Delaney “I’ve never laughed a woman in to bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.” – Jack Whitehall “People think I hate sex. I don’t. I just don’t like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.” – Victoria Wood “I’ve got a boyfriend at the moment. Sometimes he’s there and sometimes he’s not. I prefer it when he’s not. Sex is a lot quicker.” – Sarah Millican “I don’t like my boyfriend watching pornography. I do think it’s kind of a form of infidelity, because he’ll be imagining himself having sex with other women, and I don’t understand why he needs to watch it when I draw him such great vaginas.” – Sara Pascoe “Mr Circumcision refused his knighthood.” – Rob Carter [On The Big Fat Quiz of the Year] “I’ve answered at tedious length. ‘Tedious Length’ is also my porn name.” – David Mitchell “They say one in ten people want a sex toy for Christmas, and that’s a lie, isn’t it? You open presents in front of your family! Who’s there going, ‘What have you got, Nan? A b**t plug? Same here!” – Russell Howard “I’m very old now and I’ve got a body like a dropped lasagne. Women now look at my naked body in the same fearful way that pensioners look at snow.” – Frankie Boyle

“I thought Coq au Vin was love in a lorry.” – Victoria Wood

“Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.’” – Jimmy Carr

“I went to the zoo to watch the monkeys w***ing. Then I went to watch the crocodiles. I was still w***ing.” – Gary Delaney

“Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.” – Billy Connolly

“Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.” – Peter Kay

“You should only have sex with a famous person if you really, really genuinely want to tell people about it afterwards.” – Sara Pascoe

“The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys. I’m sorry, but if Christmas is coming – so am I.” – Sarah Millican

“A Christian friend of mine said that sex between two men is wrong in their eyes. I said, ‘You’re right, it’s supposed to be up the bum!'” – Gary Delaney

“Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.” – Frankie Boyle

“One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears. Personally, I think it’s b***ocks.” – Billy Connolly

“What do you call a video of two toads having sex? Frogspawn.” – David Ephgrave

“I went to buy a Christmas tree. The guy goes, ‘So you can put it up yourself?’ I said, ‘No, I was thinking the living room.” – Gary Delaney

“I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cup – just happy to be there.” – Russell Howard

“Not all sexual experiences have to be filled with anger. Just all in my experience.” – David Mitchell

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.” – Jimmy Carr

“Animals don’t watch porn do they? Unless you include my cat.” – Frankie Boyle “From what I understand about child birth, it changes you ‘downstairs’. I like my downstairs the way it is thank you very much. I certainly don’t need an extension.” – Sarah Millican “Foreplay is like beefburgers – three minutes on each side.” – Victoria Wood “Do I believe in safe sex? Of course I do. I have a handrail around the bed.” – Ken Dodd “Better sexy and racy, than sexist and racist.” – Stephen Fry “When I was 11, my mum gave me a lecture about cunnilingus. I look back as an adult and I think, ‘Oh, she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure.’ It had the exact opposite effect – there is no way you can enjoy yourself with a man between your legs if you’re thinking, ‘Hmm, Mum’d be proud.’” – Sara Pascoe “I’m going out with an English teacher, which is a bit awkward because she keeps correcting my grammar during sex. She’s particularly annoyed at my improper use of the colon.” – Gary Delaney “As a teenager I was confused that there was lots of different words for ‘sex’. I thought each of the words for ‘sex’ meant something distinct. I thought there were many more different kinds of sex things that I was going to have to get my head around before I became an adult. But then I realised that most of them referred to the same sort of basic penis penetration stuff. And that’s how I came to understand the richness of the English language.” – David Mitchell “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?” – Billy Connolly “The thing I don’t get about paedophilia… Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?” – Frankie Boyle

Some other filthy jokes:

What’s the difference between a tyre and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year!

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

What’s long and hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal. What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch. What do you call someone with a small penis? Justin! What’s the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you’re sorry. How is being in the military like getting a blowjob? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind. It’s too long. What do you do if your partner starts smoking? Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” Patient: “I don’t understand, doc. Why?” Doctor: “Because I’m trying to examine you.” Bartender: “What’s the matter buddy?” Man: “I caught my wife in bed with my best friend.” Bartender: “What did you do?” Man: “I told her to get the hell out!” Bartender: “What about your friend?” Man: “I looked him straight in the eyes and said ‘bad dog!’” What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste. What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker. Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack. What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory? Two test tickles.

What does a perverted frog say? Rubbit.

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.

What’s better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.

What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees.

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off.

What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? A cock that stays up all night.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?

Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you’ll eat that stuff, you’ll eat anything.

And some vulgar one-liners:

I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I’d like a bag. I said “no, I’ll just turn the lights off.” Masturbation always leads to sex. It’s a gateway tug. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet of her Honda. I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup. I said, “Well, I’m pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet.”

I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

The best way to make your wife scream during sex is to ring her up and tell her where you are.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.

I saw a dildo the other day described as “nine inches long and realistic”. I thought, “Well, which is it?” – Gary Delaney

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

I just found an origami porn channel, but it’s paper view only.

Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only f***ing yourself!

An Australian kiss – the same as a French kiss, but down under.

I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that she’s just going to scream and run out of the park. – Gary Delaney

I was watching a really weird porno the other day, which was just a really fat man crying and w***ing at the same time. Then I realised I hadn’t turned the telly on. – Gary Delaney

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her.

I’ve currently got a stalker. But you probably can’t tell in these trousers. – Gary Delaney

I got a DVD on how to improve your foreplay. I had to fast-forward through the boring bit at the beginning. – Gary Delaney

Love is like a machine… sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. I’m trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot. A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, “Depends what’s in it for me.” I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small. I took a Viagra the other day. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck. My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead. Sex on TV can’t hurt… unless you fall off. I nearly lost my job as a roofer when I was caught masturbating on the first day. Luckily my boss suggested we just wipe the slate clean. – Gary Delaney When at the supermarket, I always pick the cashier who’s most likely to have sex with me. Always end up at self-checkout. The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex-tape. Obviously, they don’t know that yet… – Gary Delaney

55+ Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes That Are Not For Your Mother's Eyes

Welcome to school… because we’re about to school you in the art of the dirty joke . Yes, there’s an art to it. It should be naughty without being offensive. Toe the line of impropriety without crossing it. And never be humorous at the expense of others. OK, with that out of the way, let’s get to the funny stuff.

There’s just something about telling or hearing a risqué joke you know will get you in trouble with your mother (regardless of your age) that is just so funny. And it doesn’t get any better in knock-knock joke form. Everything about a dirty knock knock screams high school hallways and we’re here for it.

RELATED : Truth Or Dare Questions That’ll Have You Red With Laughter And Embarrassment

So are dirty knock knock jokes immature? Hell yeah. They’re probably in the same category as dirty riddles, puns, fart jokes (and maybe even dirty truth or dare ). But whether you’re 14, 34, or 54, laughing at the ludicrous is good for the soul. So with that in mind, we’ve rounded up some NSFW knock knock jokes that are just bad enough to not be OK at work , but dirty enough to make your raunchiest friend giggle.

RELATED : The Steamiest Free Literotica-Style Online Erotica We Can Find

1. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Woz. Woz who? Up your wazoo!

2. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Jamaican. Jamaican who? Jamaican me horny.

3. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? I AM NOT A POO! HOW DARE YOU.

4. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? School. School who? School your ass.

5. Knock, knock!

Who’s there? Asshole! Asshole who! Open the door and find out, asshole!

6. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Fuck you said. Fuck you said who? “Me!”

7. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Some! Some who? Some asshole talking to a knock-knock joke.

8. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Bull. Bull who? Bullshitter!

9. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Tara. Tara who? Tara McClosoff.

10. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Centipede. Centipede who? Centipede (Santa peed) on the Christmas tree.

11. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? You eat your poo?! Gross!

12. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Not someone. Not someone who? Not someone who will get you laid.

13. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Madam. Madam who? Help madam finger is stuck in the door.

14. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? ( Sexy voice ) Who would you like it to be?

15. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? You’re just in time to hear me fart!

16. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito bit me! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Andy. Andy who? And he bit me again!

17. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben down and lick my boots!

18. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ivanna Seymour. Ivanna Seymour who? Ivanna Seymour Butts.

19. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Parton! Parton who? Parton my French!

20. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kiss your lips off.

21. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to do something naughty with you!

22. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Amanda. Amanda who? Amanda lay you, your lonely nights are over!

23. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Anita! Anita who? Anita you right now!

24. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Idaho! Idaho who? I da hoe? No! You da hoe!

25. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Dewey! Dewey who? Dewey have a condom handy?

26. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Not your wife.

27. Knock, knock.

Come in. God damn it.

28. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Tanaka! Tanaka who? Tanaka you up!

29. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Anita! Anita who? Anita take a shit!

30. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Budweiser! Budweiser who? Budweiser dirty knock knock jokes so filthy?

31. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Khan! Khan who? Uh, oh, Khan-dom broke!

32. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Al! Al who? Al give you a kiss if you open this door!

33. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Pileup! Pileup who (pile of poo)? Ewwwwwww.

34. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Anita Colo. Anita Colo who? Anita Colonoscopy.

35. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ben Hur. Ben Hur who? Ben hur up!

36. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Urine. Urine who? Urine secure, don’t know what for.

37. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Pasta. Pasta, who? Pasta beer, asshole!

38. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Nicholas! Nicholas who? Knickerless girls shouldn’t climb trees.

39. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Aldo! Aldo who? Fine, fine, Aldo you!

40. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Myra! Myra who? My right nut.

41. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana touch your butt.

42. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Kiss. Kiss who? Kiss me!

43. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream all night if you’re lucky.

44. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ben Dover. Ben Dover who? Ben Dover and I’ll give you a big surprise!

45. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Waiter. Waiter who? Waiter I get my hands on you.

46. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? May I come in? May I come in who? Not until we have a serious discussion about birth control.

47. Knock, knock!

Who’s there? Cam. Cam who? Camel toe… do you have any pants I can borrow?

48. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Dozer. Dozer who? Dozer the biggest breasts I’ve ever seen.

49. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband?

50. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Baby owl. Baby owl who? Baby owl see you later at my place.

51. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Gladiator. Gladiator who? Gladiator during the threesome.

52. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Foreskin! Foreskin who? The world’s greatest foreskin teller.

53. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Boo? Boo who? Stop crying, you pussy. It’s just a joke.

54. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Bee. Bee who? I like the view from bee-hind you.

55. Knock knock!

Who’s there? Butch, Jimmy, and Joe. Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who? Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a big hot kiss, and let’s Joe!

56. Knock, knock!

Who’s there? King Henry the Second. King Henry the Second, who? King Henry, the second the queen leaves, we’ll bring in the girls!

57. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? When where. When where who? Tonight, my place, you and me.

58. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Ima Reilly. Ima Reilly who? Ima Reilly excited to see you naked later.

59. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Do you want two CDs? Do you want two CDs who? Do you want to CDs banging body?

60. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Willis! Willis who? Willis be the first time I kiss you?

This article was originally published on April 2, 2020

Homework Jokes

We’re sorry. this joke list was supposed to be twice as long but our dog ate half of it. honest if you hate homework as much as we do, then this list of hilarious homework jokes is for you.

So if you’re reading these jokes instead of doing your Maths homework then you might need some more to stop you doing your History homework too. Try these 20 Delicious Pi Jokes for Maths Fans! or even these 16 History Jokes Which Are Older Than Your Pants . If you are reading this and you’re a teacher, don’t worry. The Beano doesn’t just laugh at the mere idea of homework. We also have some educational (yet funny) fact pages too. Check out our 30 Amazing Facts About Space and the Universe to marvel at our brainy writing skills!

What’s Hermione Granger’s favourite homework?

My teacher say’s I didn’t do my Ancient Roman homework?

That’s his story!

My science teacher is always saying I haven’t done my homework!

We just lack chemistry!

I ripped up my homework.

It was tearable.

Why didn’t the kid do their cooking homework?

They didn't have enough thyme!

Little Brother: I am learning about numbers for homework!

Big Brother: What are the odds?

My teachers told me off for something I didn’t do!

My homework.

Kid: Dad, can you help me with my homework? Dad: No, son. It just wouldn't be right.

Kid: I know, but will you try it anyway?

A dad gives his adult son a playful headlock

My teacher’s the best…

She puts kisses all over my homework!

Why did Vladamir Putin finish his homework so fast?

Because he was Russian.

Father: When Winston Churchill was your age he did homework by candlelight.

Son: When Winston Churchill was your age he was Prime Minister!

I got a paper cut from my Statistics homework.

What are the odds?

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Clever Kid: I lost it fighting someone who said you weren’t the best teacher in school!

They teacher left a note on my homework but signed it with the wrong name…

I think they're mass-grading as someone else!

Why was the girl’s A+ homework covered in feathers?

She’d hired a mathmachicken!

For my art homework I had to write about Salvadore Dali...

I tried, but my pen turned into a giraffe and my desk melted.

Kid: My dog ate my homework… Teacher: It was a computer science assignment!

Kid: He took quite a few bytes!

Teacher: Did your Dad help you with your homework?

Kid: No, he did it all by himself!

My friend asked to use my fingers to help him with his Maths homework…

He should stop counting on me!

My homework was to cook something. I said I'd bake dog biscuits! No idea how too but…

There’s a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework.

Why was the algebra homework so sad?

It had a lot of problems!

What did they sandwich say when they forgot their homework?

What did the bacon do after school?

Their ham-work!

Why did the student eat their homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

What happened when the tomato fell behind on his homework?

He had to ketchup!

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Check out the Joke Generator!

Do it do it now.

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School Jokes

Homework jokes and humor.

– –

TEACHER: Of course not.

.
TEACHER: Do you have an excuse? PUPIL: Yes, it’s all my mother’s fault

.
FATHER: Now, son, hard work never killed anyone.

I have so much homework to do it doesn’t leave me any time for my studies.

And I’m in the 5th grade.

That’s the only way I’ll ever get caught up on all my homework.

PUPIL: That should be enough homework to keep the Chinese Army busy.

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608 Homework Jokes That Will Make You the Class Clown

Homework Jokes

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FAQs About Homework Jokes

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Little Johnny Jokes

What is a Little Johnny Joke?

Little Johnny Jokes Dirty

1. Little Johnny asks his mum where babies come from. His mum says from the storks. Little Johnny asks back, “Then who fucks the storks?”

4. At the dinner table, Little Johnny’s father asks him to pray. Little Johnny prays, “Dear God, please send clothes to the naked ladies in Daddy’s computer.”

5. The teacher asks the class what they can do to stop water pollution. Little Johnny answers proudly, “Stop taking baths!”

6. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Santa responds back, “Okay. Send me your mother.”

7. Little Johnny’s dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Little Johnny sadly says, “I know Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny don’t exist. If you’re gonna tell me that adults don’t really have sex then I don’t know what to believe in anymore”

8. Little Johnny’s mom brings him to the doctor for the lacerations on his penis. The doctor asks him, “where did you get this from?” Little Johnny says, “I don’t know but Little Susie’s braces are really sharp.”

9. Little Johnny asks his grandma if he still has sex with grandma. His grandpa replies yes but only oral. Little Johnny asks his grandpa what oral is and his grandpa answers, “I say fuck you, and she says fuck you back.”

10. Little Susie gets her monthly period for the first time ever. Confused, she decides to tell Little Johnny by dropping her panties and showing him. Little Johnny seeing the blood says, “Susie, it looks like someone ripped your balls off.”

Funny Little Johnny Jokes

1. The teacher asks the class why God created man first. Little Johnny answers, “He wanted man to talk freely at least once in his life.”

2. Little Johnny asks his grandpa to croak like a frog. His grandpa is confused and asks why. Little Johnny answers him, “mum said we will be loaded when you croak.”

3. The teacher asks the class to give an example of the word Coincidence. Little Johnny answers, “it was a coincidence that my Mom and Dad were married on the same day.”

4. During Sunday school the teacher asks the class if they believe in the devil. Little Johnny answers, “just like Santa Claus, I know it’s really my dad.”

5. The teacher asks the class, “how far have you gone with your homework?” Little Johnny answers, “About 8 kilometers, Miss. I went home with it and came back with it today.”

6. Why did Little Johnny ask his dad if he’s ever been to Egypt? Because Little Johnny wanted to know where his dad met his mummy.

7. A teacher asked Little Johnny’s class a question. What do you call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Little Johnny answered with, “A teacher.”

8. What did Little Johnny say when his teacher noticed he was wearing one red and one green sock? He has another pair of the exact same socks at home!

9. Little Johnny’s teacher noticed that his essay about his pet dog is exactly the same as his sister’s. Little Johnny tells his teacher, “Of course it is. It’s the same dog!”

10. During class, the teacher asks to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Do farts have lumps in them?” The teacher says no, and Little Johnny replies with, “Then I’ve definitely shat myself.”

Best Little Johnny Jokes

1. What did Little Johnny say to his teacher when he was scolded for being late to class? It’s never too late to learn!

2. During Math class Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “if 10 people gave you 10 dollars each, what would you have?” Little Johnny replies, “I would have a new bike.”

3. What did Little Johnny say to his dad when the Priest’s sermon went on for a really long time? He said, “Dad if we give him money will he let us go?”

4. The teacher asks the class how they spell the word Elephant. Little Johnny answers, “E-L-E-F-A-N-T”. The teacher tells Johnny he is wrong. Little Johnny replies with, “I may be wrong but that’s how I spell it”

5. Little Johnny tries to buy a car toy with fake money. The cashier says they can’t take it because it’s not real. Little Johnny says, “Well the car isn’t real either.”

6. Little Johnny says, “I’m not going to class anymore!” His mum asks why. Little Johnny replies, “the teacher doesn’t know anything. All she does is ask questions!”

7. The teacher asks the class what an island is. Little Johnny answers, “it’s covered by water on all sides except 1!” His teacher asks, “one side?” Little Johnny replies, “Yes, the top side!”

8. Little Johnny says he can’t go to class because he doesn’t feel well. His mum asks, “where do you not feel well, Johnny?” Little Johnny answers, “I don’t feel well at school.”

9. The teacher asks the class, “What is something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago?” Little Johnny raises his hand and proudly says, “Me!”

10. The teacher asks the class why it is important to be quiet in Church. Little Johnny responds, “we have to be quiet for the people sleeping.”

Little Johnny Jokes Clean