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Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem

Exploring some options to understand and help..

Posted August 2, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• Mental health challenges and neurodevelopmental differences directly affect children's ability to do homework.
• Understanding what difficulties are getting in the way—beyond the usual explanation of a behavior problem—is key.
• Sleep and mental health needs can take priority over homework completion.

Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder. She deeply feared disappointing anyone—especially her teachers—and spent hours trying to finish homework perfectly. The more tired and anxious she got, the harder it got for her to finish the assignments.

One night Chelsea called me in despair, feeling hopeless. She was exhausted and couldn’t think straight. She felt like a failure and that she was a burden to everyone because she couldn’t finish her homework.

She was shocked when I told her that my prescription for her was to go to sleep now—not to figure out how to finish her work. I told her to leave her homework incomplete and go to sleep. We briefly discussed how we would figure it out the next day, with her mom and her teachers. At that moment, it clicked for her that it was futile to keep working—because nothing was getting done.

This was an inflection point for her awareness of when she was emotionally over-cooked and when she needed to stop and take a break or get some sleep. We repeated versions of this phone call several times over the course of her high school and college years, but she got much better at being able to do this for herself most of the time.

When Mental Health Symptoms Interfere with Homework

Kids with mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges often struggle mightily with homework. Challenges can come up in every step of the homework process, including, but not limited to:

• Remembering and tracking assignments and materials
• Getting the mental energy/organization to start homework
• Filtering distractions enough to persist with assignments
• Understanding unspoken or implied parts of the homework
• Remembering to bring finished homework to class
• Being in class long enough to know the material
• Tolerating the fear of not knowing or failing
• Not giving up the assignment because of a panic attack
• Tolerating frustration—such as not understanding—without emotional dysregulation
• Being able to ask for help—from a peer or a teacher and not being afraid to reach out

This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD , autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety , generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression , dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and mental health challenges cause numerous learning differences and symptoms that can specifically and frequently interfere with getting homework done.

The Usual Diagnosis for Homework Problems is "Not Trying Hard Enough"

Unfortunately, when kids frequently struggle to meet homework demands, teachers and parents typically default to one explanation of the problem: The child is making a choice not to do their homework. That is the default “diagnosis” in classrooms and living rooms. And once this framework is drawn, the student is often seen as not trying hard enough, disrespectful, manipulative, or just plain lazy.

The fundamental disconnect here is that the diagnosis of homework struggles as a behavioral choice is, in fact, only one explanation, while there are so many other diagnoses and differences that impair children's ability to consistently do their homework. If we are trying to create solutions based on only one understanding of the problem, the solutions will not work. More devastatingly, the wrong solutions can worsen the child’s mental health and their long-term engagement with school and learning.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about children who sometimes struggle with or skip homework—kids who can change and adapt their behaviors and patterns in response to the outcomes of that struggle. For this discussion, we are talking about children with mental health and/or neurodevelopmental symptoms and challenges that create chronic difficulties with meeting homework demands.

How Can You Help a Child Who Struggles with Homework?

How can you help your child who is struggling to meet homework demands because of their ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD , school avoidance, or any other neurodevelopmental or mental health differences? Let’s break this down into two broad areas—things you can do at home, and things you can do in communication with the school.

Helping at Home

The following suggestions for managing school demands at home can feel counterintuitive to parents—because we usually focus on helping our kids to complete their tasks. But mental health needs jump the line ahead of task completion. And starting at home will be key to developing an idea of what needs to change at school.

• Set an end time in the evening after which no more homework will be attempted. Kids need time to decompress and they need sleep—and pushing homework too close to or past bedtime doesn’t serve their educational needs. Even if your child hasn’t been able to approach the homework at all, even if they have avoided and argued the whole evening, it is still important for everyone to have a predictable time to shut down the whole process.
• If there are arguments almost every night about homework, if your child isn’t starting homework or finishing it, reframe it from failure into information. It’s data to put into problem-solving. We need to consider other possible explanations besides “behavioral choice” when trying to understand the problem and create effective solutions. What problems are getting in the way of our child’s meeting homework demands that their peers are meeting most of the time?
• Try not to argue about homework. If you can check your own anxiety and frustration, it can be more productive to ally with your child and be curious with them. Kids usually can’t tell you a clear “why” but maybe they can tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. And if your child can’t talk about it or just keeps saying “I don't know,” try not to push. Come back another time. Rushing, forcing, yelling, and threatening will predictably not help kids do homework.

Helping at School

The second area to explore when your neurodiverse child struggles frequently with homework is building communication and connections with school and teachers. Some places to focus on include the following.

• Label your child’s diagnoses and break down specific symptoms for the teachers and school team. Nonjudgmental, but specific language is essential for teachers to understand your child’s struggles. Breaking their challenges down into the problems specific to homework can help with building solutions. As your child gets older, help them identify their difficulties and communicate them to teachers.
• Let teachers and the school team know that your child’s mental health needs—including sleep—take priority over finishing homework. If your child is always struggling to complete homework and get enough sleep, or if completing homework is leading to emotional meltdowns every night, adjusting their homework demands will be more successful than continuing to push them into sleep deprivation or meltdowns.
• Request a child study team evaluation to determine if your child qualifies for services under special education law such as an IEP, or accommodations through section 504—and be sure that homework adjustments are included in any plan. Or if such a plan is already in place, be clear that modification of homework expectations needs to be part of it.

The Long-Term Story

I still work with Chelsea and she recently mentioned how those conversations so many years ago are still part of how she approaches work tasks or other demands that are spiking her anxiety when she finds herself in a vortex of distress. She stops what she is doing and prioritizes reducing her anxiety—whether it’s a break during her day or an ending to the task for the evening. She sees that this is crucial to managing her anxiety in her life and still succeeding at what she is doing.

Task completion at all costs is not a solution for kids with emotional needs. Her story (and the story of many of my patients) make this crystal clear.

Candida Fink, M.D. , is board certified in child/adolescent and general psychiatry. She practices in New York and has co-authored two books— The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not.  Middle school syndrome is the worst.  Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail.  I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest.  It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up.  I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way.  Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever.  They didn't even get an ounce of this.  Very very frustrating.  And I wish I have never invited video games to this household.  That is all they want to do.  I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits.  Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career.  I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel.  It is very hard too when you don't get any help.  I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents.  Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home?  okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care.  He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes.  He is totally the same!  They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative.  They are so insanely smart.  I worry about exactly the same thing.  They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami).  It made a huge difference in the short-term.  They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son.  The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us.  He is like the Borg!  I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son.  The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun!  It is bloody hard work.  And, harder the older they get -

eg.  He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!"  This has worked for 2 days now.  

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time.  Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too.  We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine.  We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all.  We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).  

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son.  Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do.  Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline.  That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!!  If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class.  How do you combat this without going to the school everyday?  Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation.  He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend  , my child is the same way.  I'm at my wits end.  I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political or religious nature. Unfortunately, it's not possible for us to respond to every question posted on our website.

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Are your kids refusing to do their homework?

Published on 12 September 2022

If homework battles between you and your child are getting out of hand, try these tips from our psychologist.

When school reopens after the holidays, some kids find it challenging to do homework. Getting back into a school routine can be difficult, but re-establishing a routine doesn’t mean resorting to a battle of wills. In fact, a proactive and progressive approach is more likely to be successful and easier on everyone at home. 

So, how can parents help? You can take on an empathetic and validating approach by inviting your child to solve the problem at hand with you. This method is known as collaborative problem solving, and shows your children that you are on their side and understand their challenges, while still maintaining your position as an authoritative figure in their lives. Here’s how to go about this.

Steps for engaging your child

The goal is to minimise the power struggle between parent and child – this can be done by providing children with choices that may help them more willingly engage in homework. Ms Vanessa Heng, Psychologist, Division of Paediatric Psychological Services at Khoo Teck Puat - National University Children’s Medical Institute (KTP-NUCMI) at the National University Hospital (NUH), breaks down some steps you can follow:

Step One: Check in with your child and identify reasons for refusal

You may pose your concern as a reflective observation. For example, you can say, “I notice that it has been challenging for you to get started on your homework. What’s up?”

Step Two: Listen to what your child says and validate their difficulties

Validation does not mean you are condoning your child’s behaviour. Rather, it shows that you understand where they are coming from. 

For example, if your child says, “I want to play with the iPad. I do homework all the time”, you may say, “It sounds like using the iPad is more fun than doing your homework because you do homework a lot.”

Paraphrasing and mirroring what your child has shared about their difficulties will be helpful for children to recognise their thoughts and to hear that their parents understand their thinking. 

Step Three: State your concern with not completing their homework

An example of stating your concern can go like this: “My concern is that if you do not complete your homework now, you will have to stay up late to do it and you will feel tired tomorrow.” 

Another possibility is: “My concern is that if you do not learn now, you may not understand what your teacher is teaching.”

Genuine curiosity and shared concerns of the issue at hand can help orientate your child towards collaborative problem-solving.

Step Four: Invite your child to collaborate on solving the issue at hand

It’s important to recognise that some compromise is required on your end as well as your child’s. For instance, you may set the boundary that they need to complete their homework, but they may choose to break the work up into manageable parts with required breaks in between. This solution allows time for fun as well as time to finish learning. 

Is your child overwhelmed?

With busy schedules piled up with homework, tuition, and parents’ assessments, children can also become extremely overwhelmed. It is useful to set up a visual timetable with homework split into manageable blocks of work, and to break up extended periods of work to optimise attention. 

Ms Heng explained that sporadic breaks in between work time allow children to see and predict how much work they can do and when they are able to relax, which can be motivating. As adults, we too have an internal timetable that lets us know when we can take breaks; we look forward to lunch time, end of work, weekends, and holidays. For children who are generally not able to sustain their motivation for long, a visual reminder of their schedule with lots of happy breaks can help them sustain a regular routine. 

Creating timetables

Ms Heng’s recommendation: 

For 7-10 year olds, you should take the lead and create a visual timetable together with them, adding pictures and decorating together. Give them an appropriate structure but allow them to make small choices such as where to place breaks. 

For 11-12 year olds, have them create their own timetable. Provide reasonable boundaries for them and then allow them to manage their time. For example, stipulate that their homework needs to be completed within the day before a specific time and let them choose the number of breaks so long as the tasks on hand are completed.

Be realistic about how much work is achievable for your child in a day, taking into account what their school would have already provided. 

Conducive space

Identifying a space that is conducive for your child to complete homework is also crucial. This can still be done even if space and resources are limited. Physically, for example, this can look like putting up a makeshift boundary at the dining table or corner of the house to block out distractions such as the television and toys. 

You can also use a beeping audio timer to encourage self-monitoring – for instance, setting a timed reminder every 20 minutes to prompt your child to check on their progress. This self-monitoring can be paired with a visual check list of their work. 

Children and mental health issues

There could be many reasons for why a child continually refuses to do homework. Sometimes, it’s worth checking in on your child’s mental health. According to Ms Heng, it is possible that constant refusal to engage in tasks could be a behavioural manifestation of underlying issues, such as depression, anxiety, inattention or hyperactivity, and/or learning disorders such as dyslexia and dyscalculia. 

There is no minimum age for someone to have depressive or anxiety symptoms. According to Ms Heng, children who are depressed typically not only refuse homework, but also lose interest in other hobbies or tasks as well. 

Signs to look out for are: 

Having continuous feelings of sadness, anger, and hopelessness 

Using self-deprecating labels/descriptions (“I am never good at anything”, “Everyone doesn’t like me”) 

Losing appetite, or eating excessively

Sleeping too much or having difficulties sleeping 

Fatigue or loss of energy 

Having difficulty concentrating 

Not wanting to play with their friends or be around others

Children who are feeling anxious typically also demonstrate a mixture of the following symptoms: 

Physical ailments (e.g., stomachache, headaches, nausea) 

Worrying about not getting things correct 

Avoiding work, presenting, or being quieter in class 

Having behaviour outbursts once they reach home 

Irritable, angry, or frequently cries 

Fidgety, tensed, or may use the toilet frequently 

May be clingy to closest family member 

If your child displays any of the above symptoms, it’s worth checking in with your child’s school and contacting your paediatrician for a consultation. 

Other needs: Companionship

Sometimes, children do not like homework because they are unable to work through the questions themselves and they lose interest. Companionship and spending time doing work with your child tells them that you value time with them which can be motivating. Be mindful, however, to not come across as supervising or spying on them. Rather, let them know that you are there for them if they have questions. 

For 7-9 year olds, it can be beneficial if parents sit and do the work with their children, particularly if you are working from home. Make yourself available to help them with their questions when they come to you. You can compromise by setting specific timings so that you have a structure too.

For 10-12 year olds, have them note down the questions they require help with and provide a time for them to approach you for help. You may also gently offer help when you notice that they are stuck. You can say, “You have been thinking really hard on this question. Would you like some help with this?”

Ultimately, every parent wants to help their child maximise their potential. It is important to understand what challenges there are to work through together and what conditions will espouse the outcomes that are helpful for your child. 

In consultation with Ms Vanessa Heng, Psychologist, Division of Paediatric Psychological Services , KTP-NUCMI , NUH .

• Paediatrics
• National University Hospital
• Psychologist
• Vanessa Heng

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Is homework a stressful time in your household? At one time or another, it’s probably resulted in bribery, disagreements, frustration, and a tantrum or two. The reality is no child really loves homework. Think about it. When you were your child’s age, did you enjoy completing more work after being in school all day? Odds are no.

As a parent, it is important to level with your child and try to view things from their perspective. If you’re willing to take their views into consideration, when combating homework issues, they will be inclined to discuss things with a level head versus a combative mindset.

The resolution to homework qualms and quarrels isn’t a one-step plan, but we have an assortment of tips to get the job done.

Create a routine.

Develop a routine that works well for your household – this will vary depending on your child’s age, transportation home (bus, walker, daycare, etc.), sports, and other activities. Schedule a time that your child must begin their homework every day. If it helps, consider writing the schedule down on a family calendar or chore board.

Be consistent with the schedule. If your child doesn’t abide by the routine, implement consequences. The reprimanding recourse could be no screen time, early bedtime, no outside playtime, or writing lines. Having a routine will alleviate any questions on start times and empower your child with a sense of independence.

Remove distractions.

Distractions can be social media, phones, TV, or other people. Make a rule that your child must focus on their homework without any distractions. Odds are if they have less background noise, they’ll be able to complete their homework quicker and more efficiently.

Set up a specific area for homework.

Whether it is the dining room table or a desk, designate a specific area for your child to complete homework. Having a designated homework space will create boundaries within the physical household and help your child step away from homework and relax.

Consider creating a homework caddy that holds pencils, pens, highlighters, erasers, post-its, index cards, and other helpful school items. Your child will not have any excuses about having the materials necessary to complete their assignments, and it establishes that area as a homework destination.

Give your child breaks.

Break up your child’s homework time by allowing them to take a break. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and allow your child to make a snack, stretch their legs, or just get a drink of water. Implementing segmented breaks will help your student feel refreshed as they complete their assignments. But don’t allow electronics during the breaks because that could serve as a distraction.

Make yourself available.

Help your child get started with their assignments. Ask your child what work they must complete and help them create a to-do list to get it finished. Many kids are not self-starters and lean towards being slow starters. Therefore, being available and active in your child’s homework execution will make assignments feel less daunting.

It’s also important to let your child know that you are available to help with questions they have. Be patient and ask your child if they have notes provided during class time, about certain subjects and lessons.

Work together to manage long-term assignments.

As you know, some assignments require more than just one night’s work. Each week, work with your child to develop a schedule that is achievable. This could look like setting aside 15 minutes each weeknight to work on a project or blocking off time during the weekend to work on a project together. As adults, we tend to take the habits of being independent and thoughtful for granted. It’s important to keep in mind that you didn’t develop mindfulness overnight – it is a lifetime process.

By working together to manage long-term assignments, you’ll help your student create habits that they will use forever.

Make Sunday night a school night.

If your child is involved in extracurricular activities and/or sports, allotting Sunday nights as school nights will be beneficial for everyone’s well-being. Help your student budget their time by establishing assignments they can knock out on Sunday night. This can look like getting a head start on reading, working on a large project, creating an outline for an upcoming paper, studying sight words, or tackling assignments that aren’t as time invasive.

There will be days when homework can’t be completed at a decent hour because of other obligations; therefore, it needs to be completed beforehand. Starting the school week on a Sunday, will reduce stress and help your child develop a good sense of time management.

Make homework a priority.

If your kid doesn’t complete their homework, then implement consequences. If homework isn’t finished, then they must miss practice. Creating a strong foundation and prioritizing homework will motivate a student to stay on track.

There are also consequences if they do a poor job on their homework. Making these rules will encourage your student to create quality products.

Offer rewards.

Bribery is not the same thing as rewards. Bribing your child is usually used as a threat in hopes of getting your child to do the right thing; however, rewarding your child is reinforcing your kid’s good choice. Discuss incentives with your child beforehand because the rewards can serve as motivation for your student. As your child gets older, consider editing the rewards. For example, if your younger student completes their homework without any problems for a whole week, maybe you could extend their bedtime by 30 minutes. However, if you have a teen and they produce the same consistency, you could consider extending their curfew by an hour.

Be consistent with consequences.

Assess your consequences and make sure that they are effective. Also, strive to be consistent with the consequences because you want to make sure that your child knows what to expect.

And be honest with yourself to make sure you’re not overreacting. Try to keep a level minded approach when assessing your child’s grades and production. It’s okay if your child has a bad grade once and a while. It is okay to give your child grace occasionally – we all have our off days.

Always communicate with your student and try to stay positive. If you implement these tips into your homework structure, you’ll definitely see a big improvement; however, it is important to recognize that everyone has off days, and that is totally okay.

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For families of Children's Minnesota

Refuses to do homework, related behaviors, what to do:.

Self-Talk. Say to yourself, "I wish my child wanted to do his homework. But I can be calm when he fights doing it. It's his job to do it and mine to encourage his learning how."

Empathy. Tell yourself, "I need to know what my child is thinking and feeling to help him be motivated to do his homework. When I put myself in his shoes, I'll be able to help him better. Sometimes I don't want to do work around the house or on my job, and I always have to figure out why before I can be motivated to do it."

Teach. Tell yourself, "I can help my child learn the SOCS method of problem-solving to help him understand the (S)situation, the (O)options he has for solving the problem, the (C)consequences of choosing each of those options and the (S)best solution. This is a good problem-solving strategy for children to use when they can understand the meaning of these words-situation, options, consequences and solution-- that will be useful throughout their lives.

Make a Daily Routine. Routines are valuable tools that help us all stay organized, so we can get done all the things we need to do. Routines also help to motivate us to get our work done in a focused way. A homework routine, for example, could be: Right after dinner is now a quiet time. All homework will be done during that time. If a child believably claims not to have homework, he can read during quiet time because it is a time when all family members are reading or working on a project.

Make Rules. A simple rule could be: TV and all electronic devices will be off during homework. To enforce the rule, make sure all portable devices are off and are put in a place away from the homework site. A chore rule could be: All chores will be done and inspected before devices can be used or the child can have playtime.

Use SOCS to Support Your Child's Problem-Solving. When your child won't do his homework, talk with him about what he's feeling. Is he upset about something going on in the class? Does he not understand the assignment? Is he worried that his teacher and you expect him to never make a mistake? When you know what the situation is-what your child is thinking and feeling-you can help him understand the options he has for solving the problem, the consequences of choosing each of those options and the best solution. This SOCS method: Situation, Options, Consequences and Solution is a caring, supportive way to build a problem-solving partnership with your child that helps him learn how to be resilient and that he can cope with a problem by thinking it through logically to come up with a solution that works for him.

Check Homework Assignments. As a "family manager", your task is to know what your child's job is, and in this case it's homework. When you know the assignments, you will know whether they have been completed. In addition, you can judge the quality of the homework that has been done. If your child says he has no homework, it's possible to check the school website. Most schools now post homework for each class in each grade. You are not responsible for doing the homework or even knowing what the homework is. But it is important for your child to know that you care and want to know-just as you would share a work project of your own.

Involve Your Child in the Plan. If your child is doing poorly because of incomplete homework assignments, poorly done work, failure to turn in the assignments on time, or any of the other issues that you know are resulting in grades that are below your child's ability, ask him what he plans to do about the problems. If he says, "I'll try harder," don't accept that as an answer. Instead ask, "What's your plan?" and help him pull together a detailed plan to correct the problem: Do all homework immediately after school. Parent checks it. Put it in notebook which goes in the backpack. Turn it in immediately in class. I'll correct my mistakes as soon as I get them." Now, that's a plan. Again, make this your child's plan, not yours. He is responsible for the plan and the work. Here is an example. Ask your child for his ideas!

Check Chore Completion. Most assigned chores have visible proof of completion. Empty wastebaskets are evidence that the trash chore has been done. A made bed shows that making a bed each morning was done. Fun activities are allowed when all chores are done satisfactorily.

Make a Chore Calendar. In order to ensure that children know their chore assignments, a calendar with chores listed could be posted. Monday: Empty Dishwasher, Tuesday: Empty wastebaskets, Wednesday: Vacuum the family room floor, etc. Each child will then check off the chore on that date when completed.

Use Grandma's Rule. You may have noted that in each case we've cited, the child can have his privileges only after work is done, which is the essence of Grandma's Rule. The when-then contract simply states, "when you have done what you are required to do, then you may do what you want to do." You manage your child's access to all of his privileges, such as electronic devices or play activities.

What not to do:

Don't Nag, Beg, Threaten. These won't teach your child how to get work done when it needs to be done.

Don't Punish for Incomplete Homework or Chores. Grounding and other punishments when things aren't done won't teach your child how to get things done. Punishment encourages lying to avoid the punisher-not what you want to teach.

Don't Take on His Responsibility. If you take the responsibility of getting your child's work done, he will never learn to do it himself. Sitting with him to help him finish his homework won't teach him how to take that responsibility. Doing incomplete chores because it's easier than getting him to do them won't help him learn to be responsible.

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The authors and Raised with Love and Limits Foundation disclaim responsibility for any harmful consequences, loss, injury or damage associated with the use and application of information or advice contained in these prescriptions and on this website. These protocols are clinical guidelines that must be used in conjunction with critical thinking and critical judgment.

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Homework Refusal: Is It Laziness or Executive Functioning Issues?

It's not uncommon for kids to be unexcited about doing homework. For some kids, this lack of enthusiasm translates into putting off homework or drudging through assignments until they are completed. However, for some students, their negative attitude towards homework can be more extreme. It can even take the form of homework refusal. Homework refusal happens when a child completely refuses to do their assignments. This can turn into a regular, routine struggle with parents. It can make the time spent at home unpleasant, emotional and stressful.

If you are experiencing homework refusal from your child, it can help you to understand what's going on with them. Once you have a clear idea about what's causing the protest, you can focus on a solution. Alleviating the homework struggle can make home life much more pleasant and low-stress for everyone.

What Causes Homework Refusal?

There are many potential causes of homework refusal. Some of them are purely behavioral. Others are neurological. By determining what's causing the resistance, you can address it in the right way. Here are some common neurological or executive functioning issues that cause homework struggles. Consider whether one of these is the culprit behind homework refusal, rather than laziness:

Learning Challenges

Your child might be struggling with a learning disorder or challenge that is causing them to avoid doing their work. A learning issue can make the work feel impossible and overwhelming, and they'd rather not face it than try to struggle through. If you suspect this is the case for your child, have them tested. A test may reveal that they are dyslexic or struggle with attention issues. Once diagnosed, problems like these can be addressed appropriately.

Eyesight or hearing issues

It's possible that your child is having problems with their vision or hearing. This could make paying attention and learning in the classroom tough, and in turn, their homework tougher. This is especially true if they haven't properly learned the concepts. Getting hearing and vision tests can diagnose this problem, and your child may be able to benefit from hearing aids or glasses.

Children can develop feelings of anxiety that make doing homework uncomfortable for them. This anxiety can stem from pressure to do well in school or perfectionism. Students who suffer from anxiety can work with school counselors and coaches on their negative thoughts. Removing these thought patterns can also remove what stands in the way of them completing their work.

If your child refuses to do their homework, contact Brain Balance Achievement Centers. We can help address the underlying causes and help get them back on track so they can succeed at school and at home.

For over a decade, we’ve helped over 50,000 individuals improve the critical skills needed to create a brighter path for their future. Contact us online to learn more about how the Brain Balance Program can help. You can also view the research and results of the program on the website.

Get started with a plan for your child today.

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Yes, You Can Opt Your Kids Out of Homework—Here’s How

One mom says her kids haven't been doing homework for years. Here's how she opted them out and what experts say.

Guille Faingold / Stocksy

When Juliana Porter thinks about the feeling that homework induces, one word comes to mind: dread. With afternoon and evening time constraints, the North Carolina mom of three wants her kids to have some time to relax and unwind, so homework is often pushed until during or after dinnertime.  

“The subject we’ve found to be the most challenging is math, in large part because strategies and ‘show your work’ are often required to get correct answers,” says Porter. “But as parents who are not in the class to learn new methods, we’re not able to help. Or we can help, but it’s not the correct method being taught and adds to our child’s confusion. These at-home cram sessions usually end in frustration for both child and parent.”

The Porter family’s experience isn’t unique. Research published in the Child & Youth Care Forum found more than 25% of parents and kids say homework “always or often interferes with family time and creates a power struggle,” while more than 36% of kids say homework sometimes forces them to get less sleep in grades 3 to 6. According to Stanford research , 56% of students surveyed say homework is a primary source of stress.

While many families do their best to help their children complete homework with as little frustration as possible, my family has chosen a different option: to simply skip it. And I don’t mean just skipping it on the nights it's difficult either. For four years, my family has totally opted out of homework, which I’ve learned doesn’t produce enough benefits for the stress it causes. And I want other parents to know that opting out of homework is an option for their kids, too.

Homework: How to Opt Out

If your child goes to an open admissions public school, opting out of homework can be something you consider. While it may be a particularly good choice if homework is causing major household stress, you don’t have to wait until your child is miserable to act if they (or you) would simply prefer to spend the time in other ways. There are no legal requirements that students complete work outside of school hours and, for many children, the actual determinants of homework outweigh the theoretical benefits. 

To opt out, I send a note to each of my children's teachers at the beginning of the year letting them know that my child will not be completing homework, that their overall grade should not be impacted, and that they should not be penalized in any way for not turning in homework assignments.

I also let them know that we're committed to our kids' education, that we read together most evenings, and that, if my child is struggling or needs extra support in any subject, we're happy to brainstorm solutions to help them get the practice they need. Though no teachers have pushed back yet (and several have told us they wish they were not required to assign homework and that more families knew they could opt out), we have a small folder of research on the detriments of homework that we could share with an administrator if needed. 

Opting out has worked well for our family but implicit bias might mean that other families don't receive the same neutral or positive reaction that our white family does. 

"Many minoritized and historically marginalized families never consider opting out of homework, even when they know that it's not meaningful," says Sequoya Mungo, Ph.D. , an educational equity consultant and co-founder of BrownLight Inc. , a company helping to create positive diversity and inclusion results in educational, nonprofit, and corporate environments. "When white families make these types of educational choices, they are viewed as forward-thinking and seen as advocates for their children's education. Teachers and others often think that they're being proactive and identifying other enrichment opportunities for their kids. When non-middle class and non-white families opt out, the assumption is that parents don't value education and don't want to, or are unable to, help their kids with homework.” 

According to Dr. Mungo, coming with research or policy can be helpful as even some school level administrators are unaware that opting out is within your rights as parents. “The more prepared you are, the more likely you are to not be met with pushback.” 

Why Families May Want to Opt Out of Homework

Since homework is so prevalent, many assume it's vital, or at least important, to kids' academic growth. But the reality is murkier. "There's really no good evidence that homework completion positively impacts kids' academic growth or achievement," says Samantha Cleaver, Ph.D. , a reading interventionist and author of Raising an Active Reader: The Case for Reading Aloud to Engage Elementary School Youngsters . 

A 2006 meta-analysis of homework and achievement found moderate correlation in middle school and little correlation in elementary school, while there was negative correlation (that is, more homework means less learning) in third grade and below.

While research shows homework can help high school kids improve grades, test results, and likelihood of going to college, the reality is academic pressures in the U.S. have increased over the last two decades, and so too has the amount of homework that kids are assigned. The National Education Association (NEA) recommends no more than 10 minutes of homework per night per grade level, but that's often not what's happening. According to a 2015 study, elementary school students are being assigned more than is recommended , sometimes almost triple the amount. And, often, even when educators are assigning homework they think falls in this window, it can take some students, particularly those who are “behind” already or who have learning disabilities, much more time to complete. 

Excessive homework can negatively impact sleep, mental health, and stress levels. It’s also important to note homework is an issue of equity, since not every child has the same opportunities at home. "When kids are doing work in school, the classroom environment serves as somewhat of an equalizer,'' says Dr. Mungo. "Kids have access to the same teacher and generally the same resources within the classroom setting. At home, kids have different environments, different access to resources, and different levels of support." This means kids with less support and more challenges often end up getting lower grades or being penalized for not turning in work for reasons totally outside their control.

Making Change on Homework

Parents who don't want to be the only ones opting out can work to change the homework culture at their school. Consider reaching out to your principal about your homework concerns or connecting with other parents or the PTA to help build support for your cause.

And if you do opt out, don't be shy about letting other parents know that's what you've chosen to do. Sometimes just knowing there is an option and that others have opted out successfully can help families decide what's right for them.

What to Do With the Extra Time

When Porter thinks about what a life without homework would be like, she envisions a much more relaxed evening routine. “I imagine a scenario where my kids can do their after-school activities, read more, get outside, and generally just decompress from the daily eight-hour grind that is school with no more dread and no more crying,” she says.

If you opt out of homework and find your family with more time for other sorts of learning, leisure, or adventure, be thoughtful how you’ll structure your new routine and talk with your kids about the value of doing nothing, the importance of family time, or how to spend their time in ways that matter to them.

And if you want to be sure they're getting in some valuable post-school learning, consider repurposing your previous homework time to reading with your kids. "Reading aloud has benefits long after your kids can read on their own," says Dr. Cleaver. "Encourage them to choose books about subjects they're interested in, snuggle up together, and enjoy watching them learn through active reading."

But reading isn’t the only way to reap benefits. "There are lots of things that kids can do after school that will positively impact their growth and development that don't involve sitting down to do more of the work they've done at school,'' says Dr. Cleaver. "Time to decompress through play or relaxation isn't just fun, it actually helps kids' brains and bodies relax, making them more open to learning."

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Kamala Harris running mate Tim Walz's accomplishments, setbacks during his time as Minnesota governor

By Stephen Swanson

Updated on: August 7, 2024 / 6:24 AM CDT / CBS Minnesota

MINNEAPOLIS — Vice President Kamala Harris has selected Democratic Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her presidential running mate. While Walz might not be a household name, his political star has been on the rise in recent weeks after making several viral cable news appearances.

Walz was also credited with helping launch the "weird" movement among his fellow Democrats, which has gained traction and put former President Donald Trump, his vice presidential candidate Sen. JD Vance and other Republicans on the defensive.

He has also been applauded and condemned for several progressive laws passed while in Minnesota's highest office, especially in his second term when the DFL Party took total control of state government following the 2022 elections.

He also faced severe criticism in his first term for how he handled the dual crisis of the COVID-19 pandemic and the violent uprising that followed the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis in 2020. 

In an interview with CNN last month , host Jake Tapper pressed Walz about whether he could harm the Democratic ticket, as the Trump campaign works hard to portray Harris as an ultraliberal. Walz said he was "more than happy" to take any label they have.

"What a monster! Kids are eating and having full bellies so they can go learn, and women are making their own health care decisions. And we're a top-five business state and we also rank in the top three of happiness," Walz said.

Larry Jacobs, director of the Center for the Study of Politics and Governance at the University of Minnesota, believes Walz is an asset to Harris' campaign because of his "attack dog" skills.

"I think we'd see Tim Walz really going after the Trump-Vance ticket, and it'd probably be a harsher tone than what we've seen here in Minnesota in his everyday conduct. And he'd really be counted on to win the key states in the Upper Midwest," Jacobs said.

Here are several of Walz's accomplishments — with an unusual number of legislative successes scored in March 2023 alone — and setbacks during his tenure as governor.

The pandemic

Walz's use of emergency powers during the pandemic — including the institution of a mask mandate, business shutdowns and a hotline number established to report people violating social distancing guidelines — outraged his critics.

Several lawsuits followed, including one filed in 2020 by the conservative Upper Midwest Law Center alleging Walz misinterpreted the Minnesota Emergency Management Act and illegally bypassed state lawmakers when issuing a peacetime emergency.

The case, which focused on the mask mandate, eventually made its way to the Minnesota Supreme Court , which sent it back to the Minnesota Court of Appeals. In July 2023, that court ruled that Walz indeed had the authority.

During his 2022 reelection campaign against GOP candidate Dr. Scott Jensen, who was banned from some social media platforms for spreading misinformation about COVID-19 vaccines, Walz consistently defended the "hard decisions" he made during the pandemic. He went on to defeat Jensen by nearly 200,000 votes.  

The murder of George Floyd and its aftermath

Conservatives lashed out at Walz for his delay in the historic activation of the Minnesota National Guard , which helped restore order on Twin Cities streets during the unrest in May 2020.

The delay drew the ire of then-President Trump , who went on to falsely claim he ultimately made the call. Months after the chaos, Democratic Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey said he asked Walz for troops three days before he gave the green light.

Walz, who served in the Army National Guard for nearly a quarter of a century, clapped back at Frey .

"I don't think the mayor knew what he was asking for," Walz said. "I think the mayor said, 'I request the National Guard, this is great. We're going to have massively-trained troops.' No, you're going to have 19-year-olds who are cooks!"

In a recent interview with Fox News , Minnesota Republican Party Chair David Hann accused Walz of delaying guard activation because "he was fearful of alienating his progressive base, who were supporting the riots."

"[Walz has] been a disaster for Minnesota and is by far the most partisan governor that I can remember having," Hann said. "He displayed a remarkable lack of leadership in dealing with the riot that was very destructive, and the aftermath of which is still affecting the quality of life and the business climate in Minneapolis."

Abortion rights

In a 1995 ruling, the Minnesota Supreme Court upheld abortion rights in Minnesota. In January 2023, Walz signed the PRO Act (Protect Reproductive Options Act) into law, making abortion a "fundamental right," as well as access to contraception, fertility treatments, sterilization and other reproductive health care.

The law made Minnesota the first state to codify abortion rights in the aftermath of the U.S. Supreme Court's 2022 ruling in the case of Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, which nullified Roe v. Wade after nearly 50 years of precedent.

"Your access to reproductive health and your right to make your own health care decisions are preserved and protected," Walz said during the signing ceremony. "And because of this law, that won't change with the political wins or makeup of the Supreme Court. This is a bill for Minnesota today and all future generations."

Republicans vigorously opposed the PRO Act, which was labeled as an "extreme law" by the party's top lawmakers, who failed to add amendments that would've banned third-trimester abortions and required clinics to be licensed.

In April 2023, Walz signed the  Reproductive Freedom Defense Act  into law, shielding women and providers from any legal action originating from the patient's state.  

Pro-LGBTQIA+ legislation

Walz has a long history of supporting LGBTQIA+ rights. While teaching at Mankato West High School in the 90s, he helped found its first gay-straight alliance group.

"You have an older, White, straight, married, male football coach who's deeply concerned that these students are treated fairly and that there is no bullying," Walz said in a 2018 campaign ad .

In March 2023, Walz signed an executive order to protect the right of residents to have access to gender-affirming health care . Weeks later, he signed the "Trans Refuge" bill, banning the enforcement of arrest warrants, extradition requests and out-of-state subpoenas for those who traveled to Minnesota for care.

"When someone else is given basic rights, others don't lose theirs," Walz said. "We aren't cutting a pie here. We're giving basic rights to every single Minnesotan."

Republicans sought to place an amendment in a separate bill to outlaw access in line with some neighboring states.

Other critics, including Christian conservative groups, claimed the law places vulnerable youths in danger of irreparable harm.

Proponents say gender-affirming care treatments are evidence-based with plans developed on a person-by-person basis, taking into consideration the patient's developmental stage.

The practice of putting LGBTQIA+ youths into " conversion therapy ," which aims to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity, was also formally banned in early 2023, although Walz issued an executive order two years earlier to restrict the practice.

Opponents of conversion therapy, like Children's Minnesota pediatrician Dr. Angela Kade Goepferd, say the practice can cause psychological trauma, and increase the risk of self-harm and suicide.

Opponents of the ban said it was ultimately an attack on religious freedom .

Walz, an avid hunter, signed a public safety package  later that year including a "red flag" law that allows family members, roommates or law enforcement to petition the courts to remove firearms from the possession of anyone deemed a danger to themselves or others.

Another law within the package required private gun transfers to be subject to background checks.

"This is not about the Second Amendment," Walz said. "This is about the safety and security of our communities."

Republicans and gun rights advocates accused Walz and DFL lawmakers of burying the gun control measures into the enormous package, and unfairly impacting the rights of lawful gun owners.

Paid family, medical and sick leave

In May 2023, Walz signed a law creating a state-run program to provide paid family and medical leave for Minnesota workers, funded by a 0.7% payroll tax on employers, by 2026.

While proponents say the law is an "equalizer" that provides a road map for a similar federal effort, critics claim it would cost much more than estimated and devastate small businesses.

Legalization of recreational marijuana

In May 2023, Minnesota became the 23rd state in the nation to legalize recreational cannabis use . Three months later, people 21 and older could start to possess certain amounts of marijuana at home and on their person, in addition to legally growing up to eight plants at a time.

Minnesotans with minor marijuana convictions are also eligible to have their criminal records expunged, and residents from communities of color — which were disproportionately targeted for arrests and convictions for possession for decades — are given preferential status in applying for cannabis-related business licenses .

Republican lawmakers accused the Democratic majority at the Capitol of forcing through legislation that was full of loopholes that ultimately endanger youths and increase public safety risks, especially the prospect of more impaired drivers on state roads.

Driver's licenses for undocumented Minnesotans

Walz also signed a bill into law in March 2023 that allows Minnesota residents of any immigration status the ability to obtain a driver's license .

Advocates for the bill, which had strong backing from law enforcement, business and religious groups, said it would lead to safer roads and a stronger economy.

Opponents accused lawmakers and Walz of potentially opening a Pandora's box that could blur eligibility for voting and enrollment in other state programs.

Republican lawmakers also unsuccessfully sought to make special licenses for undocumented Minnesotans that would be easily distinguishable from the standard cards.

Restoration of voting rights for former felons

In that same watershed month, Walz signed a bill that restored the right to vote to more than 50,000 convicted felons who had already served their time .

"We are in a country of second chances, we're a country of welcoming people back in. And the idea of not allowing those voices to have a say in the very governing of the communities they live in is simply unacceptable," Walz said.

Several Republicans lambasted the legislation, saying those still serving probation for felonies should not have the right to vote. Sen. Mark Johnson, R-East Grand Forks, went further, saying the law "opens our elections to being influenced by convicted felons and illegal immigrants."

Universal school meals

Amid the increase in food insecurity for many Minnesotans during the pandemic, and the subsequent strain on the state's food shelves that remains to this day , Walz signed a bill in March 2023 that ensures all K-12 students in the state have access to free breakfast and lunch on school days.

"As a former teacher, I know that providing free breakfast and lunch for our students is one of the best investments we can make to lower costs, support Minnesota's working families, and care for our young learners and the future of our state," Walz said.

Initially pegged to cost $388 million in the state's two-year budget, the cost ballooned by more than $80 million , stoking sentiment among Republican lawmakers that the program is a waste of taxpayer funds, and largely provides meals for students of families that can easily afford to pay for them.

Walz's clashes with Hennepin County's attorney

In April 2023, Walz became the first Minnesota governor in three decades to reroute a criminal case from a county attorney to the state attorney general's office .

The case involved the 2022 murder of 23-year-old Zaria McKeever . The father of her young child was sentenced to life in prison earlier this year for orchestrating her death. Two teenage brothers, one of whom fired the fatal shots inside her Brooklyn Park apartment, were also sent to prison.

Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty originally put together a plea deal for the brothers that would've seen them serve time in juvenile detention instead of being sent to adult facilities. The move angered McKeever's family and community members, and their outcry led Walz to intervene and place the case in the hands of Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison.

Earlier this year, Moriarty faced fierce criticism for charging a White Minnesota state trooper in the death of a Black motorist in 2023 . Her office eventually dropped the charges , and Walz told reporters soon after he had planned to intervene again if Moriarty hadn't made "the right decision."

Moriarty called Walz's move in the McKeever case "deeply troubling" and alarming to "prosecutors across the state." That sentiment was shared by the National Lawyers Guild , which called Walz's conduct "not just wrong, but in the context of other decisions, shows that you are making these sensitive decisions based on political expedience."

Following the end of the state trooper case in June 2024, Moriarty accused Walz of unfair treatment due to her gender and sexuality, as she is the first openly LGBTQIA+ Hennepin County attorney, pointing to the lack of criticism her predecessor Mike Freeman enjoyed.

When pressed by the media about Moriarty's claims, Walz simply said they were "false."

Stephen Swanson is a web producer at CBS Minnesota. A 21-year station veteran, Stephen was a floor director for a decade before moving to the newsroom, where he focuses on general assignment reporting.

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Blog Post > “My Child Refuses to Do Homework” Here’s How to Stop the Struggle

• “My Child Refuses to Do Homework” Here’s How to Stop the Struggle

Over the past few weeks I have had many frustrated parents in my office discussing issues that they were having with their child refusing to do homework. Most of the parents I talked to described homework taking hours and ending with everyone frustrated and upset. This is a nightly occurrence and both the child and parent struggle with a solution. The following article from www.empoweringparents.com by Janet Lehman, MSW has some helpful hints that might just end this nightly struggle. — Megan Yaraschuk, M.Ed., PCC

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” Here’s How to Stop the Struggle by Janet Lehman, MSW

Do you get sucked into a fight over homework with your child every night? So many parents tell me that this is one of their top struggles with their kids. If you’re dealing with this now, you probably dread saying the words, “Okay, time to do your homework,” because you know what’s coming next — screaming, stomping, book-throwing and slammed doors. Or it might simply be hours of dealing with your complaining, whining or non-compliant child or teen who just hates to do the work. Even though you reason, lecture, nag and yell, nothing seems to change — and each night turns into a battle with no victors.

Trust me, I get it. I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It felt overwhelming to me; often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed. Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work and the amount of time required feel unending at times — both to him and to us. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility — but even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives and our expectations to make sure our son turned it in on time.

They Don’t Call It “Homework” for Nothing

Here’s something I learned along the way: homework is work, and there’s no getting around that fact. It’s a chore for both the child and parent. It’s important to understand that schoolwork is often the most difficult part of your child’s busy schedule. Helping your kids manage it despite all the other activities they would rather be doing can be challenging at best. Remember that it’s your child’s job to go to school and learn (including getting homework completed) and your job to provide for your kids, run the house and offer love and guidance to your children.

I know from experience how easy it is to get caught up in power struggles over homework. These struggles begin for several reasons, but the most common one is because your child would rather be relaxing, playing, texting with friends, or doing almost anything else. Know that if you deal with their frustration by losing it and getting mad out of your own frustration, it will be a losing battle. Some kids are even able to manipulate parents this way, because they know the battle over homework may result in your giving up on expectations to get it done.

Here’s the truth: letting your child off the hook for their work will ultimately create problems in their lives. Instead, focus on the fact that as a parent, you need to teach your child how to follow through on expectations and be accountable. All the more reason to take control and make homework just another part of your child’s daily responsibilities.

Here’s my advice for reducing homework hassles in your home:

• Try to stay calm : Try to avoid losing your cool and yelling and screaming, arguing about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz, ignoring the homework altogether or being inconsistent with what you expect, being overly critical, or giving up and just doing the work for your child. The first step is to try to stay as calm as you can. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and is likely not going to help them get the work done.
• Set clear expectation around homework time and responsibilities. Let your children know that you expect them to get the work done on time and to the best of their abilities; the most important thing is that they try their best. Set aside the same time each afternoon or evening for them to do their work. Understand that kids are all different in how they feel about and approach homework. Some may find English easy, but get really frustrated with math. Another may be a science whiz, but have no patience when it comes to writing. It’s important to know your child: their strengths and struggles, and how they learn. Some kids need small breaks throughout a session, while others may need the task to be broken down into smaller pieces and then varied. While there are some children and teens who are self-directed and able to complete homework without assistance, most require some type of guidance and/or monitoring, depending on their age. This makes it especially challenging for parents, because it means you need to perform different functions with each child you have, depending on their needs.
• Have a relationship with your child’s teacher. Try your best to build a good relationship with your child’s teacher. Start off at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationship with your child’s teachers will pay off during the good times as well as the challenging times.
• Play the parental role most useful to your child. Some kids need a coach; others need a “monitor,” while others need more hands-on guidance to complete tasks. Try to match your help with what is most needed. Remember also that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself, your responsibility is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s responsibility to do his or her assignments, and the teacher’s job to grade them.
• Keep activities similar with all your kids. If you have several kids, have them all do similar activities during homework time. Even if one child has less homework or finishes more quickly, they need to be respectful of their siblings by doing quiet, non-disruptive activities.
• Set up a structured time and place for homework. Choose a time and place and stick to a routine as much as possible. Consider adding in break times for kids with shorter attention spans. They might work on their spelling words for 15 minutes, and then take a 5 minute break, for example. Offer snacks to keep kids “fueled” for the work. Keep the house generally quiet for everyone during homework time—turn off the TV (or at least keep the volume down). Make sure your kids have a “space” for doing their work. For some kids this will mean a large work space like a kitchen table to spread out their papers and books, and for others it may mean a small quiet area in their room.
• Start early: Start early with your young children setting up “homework” time, even if it’s just some quiet reading time each night. This helps get them used to the expectation of doing some “homework” each night and will pay off as the actual work gets harder and more time-consuming.
• Offer “Hurdle Help”: Some kids need what we call “hurdle help.” Let’s say your child has big test to study for, but can’t seem to get started. You can help out by running through the first few problems, for example, until he gets the hang of it. Or you might brainstorm with your teen to help her choose a topic for the big paper she has to write. You’re not doing the work for them, rather, you’re helping them get going so the task doesn’t seem so daunting.
• Choose the best person for the job: If you are part of a couple, consider that one of you might be better at “teaching” and then let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. It will likely help the routine become more consistent and effective for your child. If you are a single parent, you might have a friend or family member (an older cousin who’s good at math, or a neighbor who’s a writer, for example) who would consider helping your child from time to time.
• Offer empathy and support. If your child is really struggling, give them some support and guidance and show some empathy. Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may sincerely be struggling with it. If you have a child who is really having a hard time, it’s important to have communication with the teacher to see if this is typical for all kids, or if it’s unique to your child. If your child also has these problems in class, know that there are different approaches to helping them learn that can be useful. The teacher may recommend some testing to see if there are learning problems. While this can be hard to hear as a parent – as if something is wrong with your child – it’s important to find out how your child learns best and what your teacher and you can do to support their learning style.
• Use positive reinforcement and incentives: It’s always important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering some kind of incentive for completing homework or getting good grades. Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. But, it’s also helpful to offer some incentives to encourage them. Rather than money, I would recommend offering rewarding activities for your child’s academic successes. This could include going shopping for some “goodie” the child has really wanted, renting their favorite movie and having “movie night” at home, or other ways of spending special time with a parent. These things can become more meaningful than money for most kids and they get to experience their parent in a loving, supportive and reinforcing role.

Most kids will never really “enjoy” homework, and for some it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders. While it would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down and dug into their homework, this just isn’t going to be the case with most kids. As James often said to parents, “We need to learn to parent the child we have – not the child we’d like them to be.” Our role is to guide our children, support them through the challenging tasks, and teach them about personal responsibility.

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Defiant Children Who Refuse To Do Homework: 30 Tips For Parents

• Your child doesn’t understand the work and needs some extra help. It’s possible that your youngster doesn’t want to do his homework because he really needs help.  Also, it can be challenging for moms and dads to accept that their youngster might need help with homework, because there is often a stigma attached to kids who need tutoring. 
• Your child is addicted to TV and video games. Moms and dads often find it very difficult to limit these activities. But, understand that playing video games and watching TV doesn’t relax a youngster’s brain.  In fact, it actually over-stimulates the brain and makes it harder for him to learn and retain information.  Too much of watching TV and playing video games contributes to your youngster struggling with school and homework in more ways than one.
• Your child is exhausted from a long day at school. In the last 10 to 20 years, the needs of kids have not changed, however the pace of life has.  Most moms and dads are busy and have very little down time, which inevitably means that the youngster ends up with less down time too.  He is going to be less likely to be motivated to work when there is chaos all around him.  
• Your child is not sleeping enough. Sleep is one of the most under-appreciated needs in our society today. When a child doesn’t get enough sleep, it can cause him to be sick more often, lose focus, and have more emotional issues. Kids often need a great deal more sleep than they usually get.  
• Your child is over-booked with other activities. Moms and dads want their youngster to develop skills other than academics. Because of this, they often sign-up their youngster for extracurricular activities (e.g., sports or arts).  
• Your child is overwhelmed by your expectations. Moms and dads want their youngster to be well-rounded and to get ahead in life.  Along with this comes getting good grades.  All these expectations can put a lot of pressure on your youngster and may cause him to become burned-out and want to find an escape.
• instructions are unclear
• neither you nor your youngster can understand the purpose of assignments
• the assignments are often too hard or too easy
• the homework is assigned in uneven amounts
• you can't provide needed supplies or materials 
• you can't seem to help your youngster get organized to finish the assignments
• your youngster has missed school and needs to make up assignments
• your youngster refuses to do her assignments, even though you've tried hard to get her to do them
• Do you understand what you're supposed to do?
• What do you need to do to finish the assignment?
• Do you need help in understanding how to do your work?
• Have you ever done any problems like the ones you're supposed to do right now?
• Do you have everything you need to do the assignment?
• Does your answer make sense to you? 
• Are you still having problems? Maybe it would help to take a break or have a snack.
• Do you need to review your notes (or reread a chapter in your textbook) before you do the assignment? 
• How far have you gotten on the assignment? Let's try to figure out where you're having a problem.

How do I get my over-achieving daughter to slow down?

"I have taken the quiz and surprisingly found that I was a severely over indulgent parent. This angers me because I didn't think...

Olympic boxer at center of gender eligibility controversy wins bizarre first bout

PARIS – Algeria's Imane Khelif, one of two female Olympic boxers disqualified from the 2023 world championships after failing gender eligibility tests, entered the ring Thursday at the Paris Games .

Her bout ended in abrupt and bizarre fashion.

Khelif prevailed when Italy’s Angela Carini stopped fighting after 46 seconds.

Carini was punched in the nose and shortly afterward said she didn't want to fight anymore, according to Italian coach Emanuele Renzini

"After one punch she feel big pain,'' Renzini told reporters,.

Carini wept when speaking with reporters after the fight and spoke only in Italian. Translation of her comments was not immediately available.

But Renzini said Carini had been told not to take the fight and it had been weighing on her as the bout approached.

During the first round, Carini consulted with her coach twice before the fight was halted. Officially, Khelif won by ABD (abandoned).

Opinion: Olympic female boxers are being attacked. Let's just slow down and look at the facts

The crowd at North Paris Arena greeted Khelif with cheers before the abbreviated fight at the Summer Olympics and several Algeria flags were seen among the crowd. The fight in the welterweight division at 66 kg (146 pounds) was scheduled for three three-minute rounds.

The issue of gender eligibility criteria surfaced at the 2023 world championships when Khelif and Lin Yu-Ting of Taiwan both won medals in the women’s competition before tournament officials announced the boxers had failed gender eligibility tests. They were stripped of their medals.

This week the International Olympic Committee (IOC) said the two boxers met criteria to compete in Paris, sparking discussion about gender eligibility tests .

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The world championships are overseen by the International Boxing Association (IBA), long plagued with scandal and controversy.

Last year the IOC banished the IBA and developed an ad-hoc unit that ran the Olympic boxing tournament at the Tokyo Games in 2021 and is doing the same here.

The IOC did not detail the criteria met by Khelif and Yu-Ting to compete here and in Tokyo, but did say the boxers’ passports state they are women.

Yu-Ting, 28, is scheduled to begin competition Friday against Sitora Turdibekova of Uzbekistan in the featherweight division at 57 kg (126 pounds).

Are you as obsessed with following Team USA as we are? Thought so. Subscribe to our Olympics newsletter Chasing Gold here. 

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Who is Imane Khelif? Bio and controversial history of Algerian Olympic boxer at Paris 2024

Algeria's Imane Khelif forced her Italian opponent Angela Carini to surrender in the first round of a preliminary welterweight (66kg) bout at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games on Thursday.

The result generated immediate discussion because Khelif has previously failed testosterone and gender eligibility tests.

When a flush right hand connected with an audible thud on the face of Carini in round one, the stricken fighter turned away in distress and beckoned her team to approach the ringside. At that moment, the Italian abandoned the bout and awarded Khelif the victory.

MORE:  Results and scoring for Olympic boxing at Paris 2024

Carini stood in ring center and wept as the decision was made official, refusing to shake hands with the Algerian.

"I have never been hit so hard in my life. It's up to the IOC to judge," said Carini afterwards.

This was Carini's first bout of the Olympic Games and it lasted just 46 seconds. Khelif now moves into the quarterfinals, but her progress in the tournament is not what's being discussed among sports fans.

The Sporting News takes a closer look at the controversy surrounding Khelif's participation at Paris 2024.

LIVE: Imane Khelif vs. Anna Luca Hamori fight updates from 2024 Olympics quarterfinals

Who is Imane Khelif?

Born on May 2, 1999, Khelif is an Algerian boxer who has been competing since 2018.

In 2022, Khelif won the African and Mediterranean Championships and reached the final of the World Championships in Istanbul. She was defeated by Ireland's Katie Broadhurst and took silver.

Khelif's first Olympic appearance was at Tokyo 2020 when she was eliminated in the quarterfinal round by another Irish participant, Kellie Harrington.

DECOURCY:  Imane Khelif's current opponent is bigger than her sport

What is the controversy surrounding Imane Khelif?

Despite reaching the final of the World Championships in March 2023, Khelif was disqualified just before the bout for "medical reasons."

In the weeks that followed, it emerged that Khelif was removed from the competition after drug tests confirmed high levels of testosterone.

Following this incident, IBA president Umar Kremlev stated that these results proved that Khelif and other female athletes with elevated levels of testosterone carried male chromosomes.

In response to this, the Algeria Olympic Committee said it "strongly condemns the unethical targeting and maligning of our esteemed athlete, Imane Khelif, with baseless propaganda from certain foreign media outlets," according to the statement via the BBC .

"Such attacks on her personality and dignity are deeply unfair, especially as she prepares for the pinnacle of her career at the Olympics. The COA has taken all necessary measures to protect our champion."

This latest incident in an Olympic bout has been no less controversial with the Italian Prime Minister addressing the issue on Thursday.

"We must be careful, in an attempt not to discriminate, to discriminate," said the country's premier Giorgia Meloni via The Daily Mail.  "This, from my point of view, was not a competition on equal terms."

After the bout, Carini said she "preferred to stop for my health", but added: "I am not here to judge or pass judgment. If an athlete is this way, and in that sense it's not right or it is right, it's not up to me to decide."

Khelif, who has lost nine of her career fights, told BBC Sport: "I'm here for the gold. I fight everybody."

Why is Imane Kelif allowed to compete after failing gender eligibility test?

The IBA no longer govern Olympic boxing, so the Paris 2024 boxing tournament has been organised by the IOC, who are standing firm on the matter.

Taiwan's Lin Yu-ting is also competing in women's boxing in Paris after being disqualified from last year's world championships for failing the same eligibility test as Khelif. The IOC has robustly defended its position.

"I would just say that everyone competing in the women's category is complying with the competition eligibility rules," said IOC spokesperson Mark Adams earlier this week.

"They are women in their passports and it is stated that is the case."

He added: "They have competed and they continue to compete in the women's competition. They have lost and they have won against other women over the years.

What have the IOC said about Imane Kelif's recent win?

A statement was released on Thursday.

Every person has the right to practise sport without discrimination.

All athletes participating in the boxing tournament of the Olympic Games Paris 2024 comply with the competition’s eligibility and entry regulations, as well as all applicable medical regulations set by the Paris 2024 Boxing Unit (PBU) ( please find all applicable rules here ). As with previous Olympic boxing competitions, the gender and age of the athletes are based on their passport.

These rules also applied during the qualification period, including the boxing tournaments of the 2023 European Games, Asian Games, Pan American Games and Pacific Games, the ad hoc 2023 African qualifying tournament in Dakar (SEN) and two world qualifying tournaments held in Busto Arsizio (ITA) and Bangkok (THA) in 2024, which involved a total of 1,471 different boxers from 172 National Olympic Committees (NOCs), the Boxing Refugee Team and Individual Neutral Athletes, and featured over 2,000 qualification bouts.

The PBU used the Tokyo 2020 boxing rules as a baseline to develop its regulations for Paris 2024. This was to minimise the impact on athletes’ preparations and guarantee consistency between Olympic Games. These Tokyo 2020 rules were based on the post-Rio 2016 rules, which were in place before the suspension of the boxing International Federation by the IOC in 2019 and the subsequent withdrawal of its recognition in 2023.

We have seen in reports misleading information about two female athletes competing at the Olympic Games Paris 2024. The two athletes have been competing in international boxing competitions for many years in the women’s category, including the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020, International Boxing Association (IBA) World Championships and IBA-sanctioned tournaments.

These two athletes were the victims of a sudden and arbitrary decision by the IBA. Towards the end of the IBA World Championships in 2023, they were suddenly disqualified without any due process.

According to the  IBA minutes  available on their website, this decision was initially taken solely by the IBA Secretary General and CEO. The IBA Board only ratified it afterwards and only subsequently requested that a procedure to follow in similar cases in the future be established and reflected in the IBA Regulations. The minutes also say that the IBA should “establish a clear procedure on gender testing”.

The current aggression against these two athletes is based entirely on this arbitrary decision, which was taken without any proper procedure – especially considering that these athletes had been competing in top-level competition for many years.

Such an approach is contrary to good governance.

Eligibility rules should not be changed during ongoing competition, and any rule change must follow appropriate processes and should be based on scientific evidence.

The IOC is committed to protecting the human rights of all athletes participating in the Olympic Games as per the  Olympic Charter , the  IOC Code of Ethics  and the  IOC Strategic Framework on Human Rights . The IOC is saddened by the abuse that the two athletes are currently receiving.

The IBA’s recognition was withdrawn by the IOC in 2023 following its suspension in 2019. The withdrawal of recognition was confirmed by the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS). See the  IOC’s statement following the ruling .

The IOC has made it clear that it needs National Boxing Federations to reach a consensus around a new International Federation in order for boxing to be included on the sports programme of the Olympic Games LA28.

When is Imane Khelif fighting again?

Khelif is scheduled to face Hungarian representative Anna Luca Hamori in the quarterfinals at welterweight (66kg) on Saturday, August 3, at 11:22 a.m. ET/ 5:22 p.m. CEST.

The verbal punches have already started with Hamori making her feelings clear on social media. "In my humble opinion, I don't think it's fair that this contestant can compete in the women's category," she said of Khelif via Instagram. 

"But I cannot concern myself with that now. I cannot change it, it's life.

"I can promise you one thing... I will do my best to win and I will fight as long as I can!"

In an Instagram post that's since been deleted, the Hungarian fighter compared her opponent to a beast in a composite graphic. This action has been widely condemned.

Hamori defeated Grainne Walsh (IRL) and Marissa Williamson (AUS) to reach the quarter-finals.

Tom Gray is a deputy editor covering Combat Sports at The Sporting News.

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What to Do When Your Child Refuses to Do Homework?

Many parents will experience at one time or another that their child refuses to do their homework. It can be a boring topic, some difficult equations or for example a challenging assignment to be written in science. If you as a parent do not have the knowledge about the topic to help, it can be especially challenging to motivate the child to do homework. Here are 6 tips for when your child does not want to do their homework!

Create a Positive Learning Environment 

As a parent, creating a homework-friendly environment for your child should be a priority. To do so, it is important to have a positive attitude towards your child’s homework. A parent’s attitude towards homework affects the child’s experience when doing it. Therefore, being upset, angry, or mad rarely contributes to any progress.

Help Your Child Make Routines

Having regular routines connected to the homework situation can be valuable . The routines could involve setting up a period designated for homework and limiting screen time during this period. Regular study periods can help avoid the well-known scenario where doing homework every day seems to be a surprise. Having a regular and quiet area to do homework can be helpful in minimising distractions. This will undoubtedly help the homework process by maximizing concentration.

Feeling of Accomplishment

If your child thinks homework is boring, finding out why could be important . Is the homework too hard, or perhaps too easy? The problem could also only apply to certain subjects. Knowing these things could be smart in terms of planning which subject, to begin with. The feeling of accomplishment is very important for motivation. Therefore, the selection of which homework should be carefully considered. By doing this, you will get a better overview of your child’s knowledge of different subjects. This is important because homework is meant for practicing what you already learned in school. However, practicing something you have not learned or understood yet is hard. Therefore, using our chat where you can speak with a tutor, and get answers to short tasks could be a great habit when doing homework. The chat is completely free , and it is open 24/7.

Emphasize Effort before Achievement

It is important to emphasize effort before achievement to improve motivation – especially when giving feedback to the child. Subsequently, the child will understand that effort is important, and the work effort will most likely improve as well.

Having fun is the best contributing factor in terms of motivation. Problems regarding homework are often connected to the fact that the child is bored when doing it. If your child thinks homework is boring, it can be difficult to get them motivated to do it. Therefore, it can be smart to find new ways of acquiring the same knowledge. We at House of Math offer several math games, such as the Math Vault , Bootcamp and the Multiplication Game , which makes math much more fun. This is a different way of acquiring knowledge, but it can be just as effective as regular homework.

If you want an additional boost in motivation, a tutor can be of great help. A tutor is a supporter that contributes to motivation and the desire to learn, as well as providing technical help. We at House of Math offer several great tutors which can help children and youth . Do you want to try it? This can be an additional boost for a limited time to regain motivation. It is motivating to succeed, and with additional practice this becomes reality. Furthermore, this will help to fill knowledge holes, in addition to getting a new view of learning over a longer period. If necessary,

a tutor can therefore give technical help in addition to increased motivation. Read more about our tutor arrangement here.

When Your Homeschooler Refuses to Do Any Work: Exactly What To Do!

Do you have a homeschooler who  refuses  to do their work?

Are your school days laced with frustration, pleading, anger, and tantrums – from both parent and child?

Is your kid slipping further and further beneath their potential because of their stubbornness?

Are you at your wit’s end?

Let me tell you, you are not alone!

I have had my own struggles with my 3 girls, and I have received emails from some pretty broken, frustrated homeschool moms too. 

I have written a couple of posts on how to motivate a homeschooler and whether bribing is every appropriate in homeschooling ….but I don’t think I’ve ever addressed the issue of what to do with a supremely stubborn child.

The homeschooler who won’t do school work no matter what “reward” is waiting for them. 

If you are in a daily battle of the wills with your homeschooler, you are in the right place. 

Get some coffee, and I’m going to show you how you can and will regain control of your homeschool and raise a child who loves learning! 

How to Deal With A Homeschool Kid Who Refuses To Do Any Work

1. Really Stop and Think. Dig Deep.

I don’t believe there is a “ one size fits all ” reason for why a kid continually and stubbornly refuses their homeschool work.

For that reason, you really need to sit down and think about what is truly causing the friction you are experiencing every day.

If you identify and correct these issues, it could make a world of difference in your homeschool!

To get your mind rolling, think through each of the below points and see if they apply to your homeschooler:

– Are you an angry homeschool mom?

No judgment over here. I have been there!

How would you feel if a teacher in a classroom treated your child the way that you do?

If you felt a pang of conviction there, please read my post on How to Stop Being an Angry Homeschool Mom . 

It gives practical tips that I have learned over the year to stop being impatient and angry with the 3 kids I love the most in the world. 

– Is the curriculum you’re using appropriate?

I am not one to say that you should run out and buy new curriculum every time your kid gets grumpy about school. But if your child is continually fighting you day after day, it may be worth it to try a different curriculum. 

I had one kid that went from slugging through math every day with a sour face to exclaiming, “Thank you, mommy! Thank you, mommy, for being this curriculum! I’m good at math!” 

All I did was switch out the curriculum and it made a shocking change in my child and our homeschool.

If you think this is the boat you’re in, read When to Switch Up the Curriculum .

– Is your child frustrated with new material?

Many kids fly through the early years of school and everything just clicks for them. People always remark about how smart they are.

Your kid may come to feel that they are just naturally gifted with all things school.

Inevitably though, these kids will hit material that is a challenge for them – it doesn’t come easily.

This may anger, frustrate, and scare your child. Instead of facing the challenge head-on, your homeschooler refuses to do it at all, so they won’t be seen as a failure. 

“Everyone says I’m smart. I don’t get this stuff though! Am I not smart anymore??”

I have had more than one kid like this. 

Here is how I handle it:

Pull the kid up into your lap, look them in the eye, and say with soft eyes, “We have a long stretch of years ahead of us where I will be teaching you. There will be lots of new material like this. You don’t know everything. If you did, you would be living in your own house, with your own job, and your own money. Did you know that school was hard for me too? I had to work really hard to learn {fill in the blank}. It was tough for me! I know this material is a challenge for you and you don’t like that, but let me tell you the truth about really smart people – they work hard . Smart people dig in and keep going even when it’s tough. Smart people don’t quit. You are a hard worker too, so I know you can do this if you set your mind to it.”

From this point on, praise your child for how hard they work, not for how smart they are.  

– Is your child under social stress? Dealing with depression?

Some homeschoolers may be refusing their schoolwork because they are rejecting the concept of homeschooling. 

They feel isolated. Yes, socialization does matter ! 

Is your kid able to get out and see their friends on a regular basis? Does your child have solid friends?

What can you do to meet those very real needs?

Check out my post – The Secret Strategy for Helping your Homeschooler Make Friends – to help your kid out.

More and more kids are also dealing with depression for many different reasons that have nothing to do with school.

If you think this could be an issue, there would be no harm in a doctor’s visit or seeing a counselor to help your child address the issue. 

– Are you pushing too hard?

This was 100% me in my first year of homeschooling. My type-A personality wanted my homeschool to be a huge success, so I pushed that onto my little 1st grader. 

I would tell her that she didn’t really need those manipulatives to do her math problem – couldn’t she just remember the answer?

The truth was, I was asking her to do things that were beyond her grade and development level – no wonder she wasn’t loving school!

I had to check myself, do some research, and make sure that my expectations matched what was appropriate for her. 

Are your expectations too high?

Are your school days way too long?

Do you push your kid because you want to validate yourself and your decision to homeschool?

– Are you having fun?

School, especially homeschool, should be fun. If you’re not having fun, why is that?

What can you change about your homeschool to make it more engaging and interesting for your kid?

Sometimes it is as simple as changing what you write on – check out that homeschool hack here .

Maybe you need a new read-aloud book. 

Make more time for art projects, science experiments, music, and P.E.

Find exciting Youtube videos that match up with your lesson. 

Be flexible, and incorporate the things your child is interested in into your lessons.

I once threw out a month of science lessons so we could dive into a study of Megalodon, which was something my kid was obsessed with at the time.

She was so excited for school to start every morning!

Take some time and go through these questions and really take an inventory of what is going on in your homeschool. If you still think your kid is just plain stubborn, then read on.

2. Lift Your Kid’s Eyes to the Future

Sometimes kids need a little extra motivation than your typical sticker chart rewards system.  Sit down with them and talk about their future (not in a scary way, but in an excited, adventure sort of way). 

What do they want to be? What are they passionate about? What do they want to do with their lives? Where do they want to go to college?

My oldest daughter (7 or 8 years old at the time) flat out refused to do math at one point. I took the time to gently show her that just about any job (and many basic life skills) requires an understanding of math. This is true of all core curriculum too!

We went online and looked up some good colleges that had programs she was interested in. We watched videos for prospective students and even looked at some of the college housing pages.

It all looked really cool and my daughter was very interested!

I told her that there is an end goal to school. There is a reason for what we do day in and day out – and that is to open every possible door for her. I want her to have her pick of colleges when the time comes. I want her to be prepared and to excel .

I want her to soar when she leaves my house and be anything she wants to be. 

But for that to happen, she has to apply herself in school. Kids that don’t do well in school, don’t have as many options and opportunities as kids who did apply themselves.

No matter the age your kid is, it doesn’t hurt to lovingly lift their child’s eyes to look at the long-term goal.

Make sure they know that all your efforts come from a desire to see them succeed in life!

3.  Introduce a Bookend Reward System

After discussing the future and the importance of school with your resistant homeschooler, introduce a Bookend Reward System.

That means that when they finish school in a reasonable amount of time, with a good attitude  – there will be a reward.

Now this reward must be something that you don’t mind giving out and they really want . It could be increased screentime, a sticker chart that helps them earn something bigger, a later bedtime, special treat, etc.

If your child fails to meet that standard (due to a bad attitude, not because they were actually struggling with the material) there will be a consequence.

The consequence should be something they really don’t want and you don’t mind doing. It could be a loss of screen time, taking away a favorite toy, putting their tablet in timeout for 24 hours, etc.

If you’re not sure what your consequence should be, think about the thing your kid would always rather do than schoolwork. Then take that thing away as the consequence. 

It’s important to communicate this “bookend” system with great love and concern . You are not angry – you love your homeschooler and you want to help motivate them to reach their true potential.

Every day they have a chance to either earn something positive…or experience an immediate negative consequence.

You are no longer in a daily power struggle over schoolwork.

They pick every day what they want to experience.

They are in the driver’s seat. 

4. Consistency is the Name of the Game

It is one thing to introduce the Bookend Reward system to your homeschooler who resues to do their work…and it is any entirely different thing to actually follow through with it. 

This system will absolutely fail  if you do not convince your child that you are serious. 

You must always follow through with what you said you would do.

Whenever you have to administer consequences, be firm, but kind .

Tell them you are so sorry they made this choice and you were really hoping they would choose differently.

Do not give second chances . That sounds harsh, but they need to learn what the standard is – and that is school completed on time with a good attitude.

There is no room for tantrums, ugly words, or refusing to be work. You will no longer beg them to do their work.  

When they choose the positive path – go nuts! Celebrate them to the point that they roll their eyes and say you’re embarrassing them!

Delight in the reward they receive and make a big deal about it at the dinner table. 

*****If you think your kid really struggles with connecting their actions to how the day plays out, I highly recommend getting the book “ What Should Danny Do? ” and “ What Should Darla Do? ”

These are fantastic “choose your own adventure” books that allow your kid to actually choose what decisions Danny and Darla make throughout the day. They get to see how the day changes based on the decisions they make!

My own kids have benefited so much from these books and now respect their own “Power to Choose.”

But What if This Doesn’t Work and My Homeschool Still Won’t Do Their Work?

If you find that your kid still doesn’t care about the reward you’re offering and the consequence for not meeting the standard…I would tell you revisit the questions in the first point of this post and rethink what the reward and consequence are.

Whatever you have picked is not getting the job done.

Do not be afraid to sit down and ask your child what would motivate them. You might be surprised what they will tell you their consequence should be! 

Find the right pressure points and stay consistent with a loving and firm hand. 

How to Prevent Raising a Homeschooler Who Won’t Do Schoolwork

Did you read this article out of fear, not because you are actually experiencing a homeschool kid who refuses schoolwork?

Do you want to be prepared for what the future might hold?

If this is you, then I want to give you some points to avoid getting in the situations this article talks about. 

Your homeschooler may love school right now. They may relish every read-aloud book, worksheet, and project…but that attitude will likely not last. 

Mountains and valleys are extremely normal in education.

You just need to be ready.

I would strongly recommend following these steps to prevent raising a homeschooler who won’t do school work:

1. Make “fun” a central value of your homeschool. Don’t skip the cool things because you think you don’t have time. Your kids should be excited to find out what they’ll be learning tomorrow!

2. use a reward system for schoolwork even if you don’t “need” one right now. it will help on days that your kid is a little sluggish – don’t we all have those days, 3. when and if your kid gives you an inappropriate attitude about school work, nip it in the bud quickly. make it clear that such behavior will not be tolerated. do not yell or get angry, just state that your job is to teach – not to beg them to do school. i have even sent my kids to their rooms and told them they have lost the privilege of doing school – which also means they lost their reward for the day., recap when your homeschooler refuses to do homeschool work.

You can absolutely change the path your homeschool is on – I have no doubt. 

Remember to address those initial questions about your homeschool with brutal honesty, talk to your kid about what their future holds, introduce the Bookend Rewards System , and follow through with it! 

You can do this!

And your children will be so blessed by your efforts, Homeschool Mama.

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How to Get Your Teen to Do Their Damn Homework

Raising teenagers is tough. They’re still dependent on you for their everyday needs, but they also have a mind of their own—so while you can nudge them in certain directions, there is only so much you can do if they refuse to do something. When it comes to schoolwork, you can tell them about the importance of working hard and set an example of fulfilling obligations, but if they’re refusing to study or do their homework, your options are limited. Of course, you can take away their phone or ground them from seeing their friends, but there’s a chance they’ll still dig in their heels (while ruining your relationship in the process). If a teenager is refusing to do their homework, what can you do?

There’s usually an underlying reason  

Generally speaking, most kids—teenagers included—want to do well. However, if there’s something interfering (say, confusion about the instructions, difficulties with the subject, or an issue with their ability to focus), then it can lead to a situation where they feel it’s easier to just refuse to do it rather than admit that they’re struggling. As parents, it’s our job to try and figure out what is really going on, even if all you are getting from them are monosyllabic answers and eye-rolls.

“We have to get curious, as adults, to figure out what is underneath,” said Elaine Taylor-Klaus, founder of the organization Impact Parents and author of the book The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, and More. What looks like refusal on the surface might be a teenager shutting down because they’re being asked to do something that feels too big, difficult, or impossible to the point that refusing to do the work, even with the associated consequences, seems like the easier option. “Ambiguity can really shut our kids down,” Taylor-Klaus said.

This can be especially true if they’ve been made to feel ashamed or uncomfortable for asking help in the past, whether it’s from seeing their classmates do the task with ease, a teacher who hasn’t been particularly helpful, or parents who are too far removed from the work to remember how difficult it can be. This can also be true is a teenager is a perfectionist, as not doing something may feel less terrifying than doing something wrong. “Not doing homework is a symptom,” Taylor-Klaus said. “We want to figure out what it is a symptom of.”

If your teenager is having extreme difficulties with math or reading, or struggling to stay focused or organized in spite of their best intentions, then it’s a good idea to talk with their pediatrician to see if they need to be evaluated for dyscalculia , dyslexia ,  ADHD , or other treatable disorders. If the issues are due to an underlying disorder, diagnosis and treatment will offer strategies that can help support their specific needs, while also providing some much-needed context for their struggles.

Teen independence comes in four stages  

By the time your child reaches their teenage years, they’re getting to a point when it’s time for them to be assuming responsibility for getting their work done. As Taylor-Klaus often advises parents, this process of gradually becoming independent has four phases: Phase 1 is director mode, when the parents hold the agenda; Phase 2 is collaborator mode, when parents and kids work together to problem-solve; Phase 3 is supporter mode, when kids come up with the solutions to problems while parents offer support; and Phase 4 is cheerleader mode, when parents are on the sidelines cheering their kids on.

As Taylor-Klaus notes, a parent-teenager relationship often switches back and forth between collaborator mode and supporter mode, depending on how much support they might need for a particular task. “We want to problem solve with them, to help set them up for success, and to be part of their own solution,” Taylor-Klaus said. “Our tendency as parents is to just throw a solution at them.”

If your teenager is struggling with getting their schoolwork done, helping them may either require collaborating to identify what the issues are and how to solve them, or supporting them by offering to lend assistance to whatever solution they’ve identified. This could be in the form of figuring out an organizational system that helps them stay on track, getting them extra tutoring to help with a subject they’re struggling with, or checking in with them regularly on what their progress is looking like and offering whatever support they might need. The important part is making sure that they are actively involved in their own success. “They need to feel ownership,” Taylor-Klaus said.

What to Do When Your Homeschooler Refuses to Work

Nothing is as frustrating as when your homeschooler refuses to work. You beg. You Nag. And you despair. Will your child ever be able to go to college and enjoy a productive adult life?

I think we've all been there. So today I’m sharing a few tips and tricks I’ve learned over the years to help motivate my kids to complete their schoolwork promptly.

Why your homeschooler refuses to work

The first thing to do is to consider why your child may be dawdling over their schoolwork . 

Difficulty jump within the curriculum

There are times when a curriculum will make an intellectual jump kids aren’t ready for. Schoolwork becomes too hard overnight and your homeschooler refuses to work.

My kids sometimes struggled with the transition from short vowels to long vowels. I eventually learned the trick was to go back about a month and review. By the time we reached the long vowels for a second time, my child was ready for the new material. 

I think of it as the two steps forward, one step back approach, and I still use it to this day.

Learning issues

Another consideration is if your child may have a learning issue. For instance, a child with a condition such as dyslexia may struggle with their schoolwork but not understand why they’re having difficulty and no one else is. 

Also, check for vision and hearing problems. These can also cause struggles with schoolwork.

Kids who suffer from vision and hearing issues don’t always realize that other people see and hear differently than they do. So they don’t complain that they can’t see the page or hear the vowels; they just get frustrated and think they’re stupid for missing what’s so easy for everyone else.

Children get stressed just like adults do. Stress makes it hard for kids to concentrate. A normally responsible child will suddenly start procrastinating and doodling instead of completing their schoolwork. The stress may be caused by problems with their friends, medical issues, or issues within the family. 

Are You Pushing Too Hard?

Double-check to make certain that you’re not getting too intense about forward progress. I discovered I can accidentally push too hard when I’m more involved in where we are on paper than what my kids are learning. 

Once I tried to complete two lessons a day instead of one. After days of frustration, we ended up needing to review those lessons to ensure mastery. Pushing only slowed us down.

After you've evaluated possibilities for why your homeschooler refuses to work, then you can try possible solutions.

How to fix when your homeschooler refuses to work

Build consistency.

Kids love consistency and knowing what’s expected each day. It gives them the power to jump in and get an early start on the day if they’re up early.

Consistency also helps to keep an even workload. If your kids finish early, don’t reward them with more work! Instead, allow them to reap the benefits of being focused and diligent about their schoolwork. They will love the extra free time in their day.

Consistency also applies to the hours you homeschool. Keep your homeschool on a gentle schedule. This does not mean that you need to have your day rigidly planned out by the minute. Instead, a loose routine will serve the purpose. 

Kids like knowing what’s happening. For instance, they like knowing that Christmas happens every year on December 25th. They like knowing that fireworks come on July 4th. And they like knowing when they’re expected to complete their schoolwork.

We all lose motivation when we don't know what's expected. Build consistency to avoid this problem.

Related: Episode 88 – Why and How to Apply Structure and Rules for Your Teen

Work before play

I’m a firm believer in having some carrots hanging before my children to encourage them to stay on top of their schoolwork.

You can think of the carrots as bribes; I prefer to think of it as teaching my kids that work comes before play.

For instance, the kids know they need to complete their schoolwork before the screens are turned on. They can’t get on the computer, watch TV, or play video games until their schoolwork is finished.

By the same token, I don’t schedule fun non-school activities in the morning, because the morning is for homeschooling. Playdates, free swim, park day, field trips, etc. are all done in the afternoon.

It’s amazing how a fun activity in the afternoon motivates kids to complete their schoolwork promptly! Bribe or not, it works!

Reduce overwhelm

Sometimes kids can be overwhelmed by the workload, not because it’s too much work but because it looks like too much work.

If this is the case, break your homeschool of homeschool tasks into smaller pieces. 

Assign five pages to read at a time instead of 20. Break an essay into the different stages of research, notes, introductory paragraph, 1st body paragraph, and so on. 

Another trick is to give your child a timer and ask them to work for 20 minutes. Then give your child a 10-minute break. Then another 20 minutes of work and another break. A similar method is described in detail here: Homeschooling Teens who are Easily-Distracted .

For many kids, these ideas remove the feeling of having too much work to do. Instead, they have small pieces to complete before they can take a break and/or move on to something different.

Provide interest

Nothing is worse than being bored day in and day out. While every subject may not be fascinating for your child, the entire school day should not be centered around studies your child has no interest in.

The goal here is to make sure that your child is studying something that they’re fascinated to learn about. This could be dinosaurs, birds, or Medieval Knights. The topic doesn't matter, but the interest does.

This can be hard in a large family because having six different studies going on creates chaos for mom. But often you can add interesting activities to your studies without having the family studying widely different topics at the same time.

For example, do your children like to sew? Try sewing historical costumes to wear, and put together an end-of-the-quarter celebration that features costumes and foods from the time periods and places you’re studying. 

Complete a large science project or join in the local science fair. Join a local math club. 

Think of ways to make your homeschool more interesting for all of your children so they’re inspired to complete their schoolwork each day.

Related: Delight Directed Learning for High School on Heart and Soul Homeschooling

Add fun to the day

Make certain that you are adding small fun activities throughout the day to break up the monotony. You can intersperse these activities through a child’s assignment list.

For instance, the list may read as follows:

• Language arts lesson 11
• Jump on the trampoline for 5 minutes
• Math lesson 12
• Get a popsicle from the freezer
• Science lesson 6
• Pet the dog
• Move the laundry
• History lesson 1
• Find a purple flower

Adding fun tasks to the list of work turns the homeschool task list into a game. Work and then do something fun. You can also add experiments, art projects, hikes, and other fun activities to your homeschool that your children enjoy doing. 

These will spice up the day and help keep everyone motivated to keep their noses to the grindstone.

For teens: talk about the future

If you have a teen refusing to work, sit down and talk to them about what they see in the future. A six-year-old can’t visualize being an adult — it’s three lifetimes away for them — but a teenager sees adulthood coming quickly down the road.

They may be bored with their work and unable to see how it’s important to what they’d like to do in the future, or they may feel that the schoolwork is taking them in a direction they don’t want to go. 

So have a discussion. Make certain you’re on the same page as your teen. Then do your best to interweave their interests and plans into your high school plans . This will help to keep your teenager motivated to study.

Related: 10 Effective Strategies for Motivating Homeschooled Teens

One great way to do this is to choose electives they are interested in — then they can earn credit for learning more about a topic they enjoy.

When you’re dealing with a homeschooler who refuses to work, start by considering the situation. Then experiment with how you structure your homeschool. Often it only takes a small tweak before your child will start completing their schoolwork again.

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